RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (Full Version)

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Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 12:47:01 PM)

Well have him start a camp fire using a highly explosive substance and light it and then see if he's got any eyebrows left. Just trying to help.




I need a new lawnmower. What kind should I get?



beauregarde -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 2:20:32 PM)

Skip the mower, and go green - get a goat.


The summer flowers are not growing too well - how can I help them out?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 2:37:17 PM)

talk to them and play music.

I leave my car windows cracked open a bit so the car isn't so hot. But then overnight it gets full of little spiders and their webs. I don't want to kill them, just keep them out of the car. What to do?



beauregarde -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 4:11:31 PM)

Use silly string to make your own web to keep the bugs out.


Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up! What should I do?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 5:17:37 PM)

Stare at the ceiling, count the pattern in the wallpaper, sing songs, scream as loud you can, and then if that doesn't help have a nap.




I need to assemble a push lawnmower and barbecue. How can I make sure it goes smoothly?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 5:37:39 PM)

That's difficult - never heard of a push mower that can BBQ, though a friend has a flame thrower she uses on weeds. Maybe it cooks the weeds a you push it along? Or you have to cut the weeds first and use them as fuel?
Anyway, you want to assemble it. First get rid of all the heavy parts cause they're to hard to handle, especially in hot weather. Then hot glue the rest together. Then spray paint it in a nice color.

dh has someone in the living room who went off his meds and is depressed. Trying to get him into some kind of residential program. How do I get rid of them so I can take my jeans off and stretch out on the couch and brush my cat in peace? (yeah, I know - dh has all the compassion in the family).



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 6:04:36 PM)

Tell them there's a sale on Blizzards at DQ and that they'd better get there fast.


I am frustrated as the screws and bolts didn't tighten very well on the push mower handle. It's more like spaghetti than a handle. What should I say to the people at sears as I'm ticked off now?



FROGkissin -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/8/2008 6:53:27 PM)

Find a little bitty weed-eater, and wrap it up as a gift!



I think my neighbor is a terrorist, help!



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 1:12:53 AM)

Dress up in a turbon and robe and go over and act as a spy. Tell him you're "there" for him. Then call the FBI.


I think a neighbour could be a child molestor. He walks around looking in everyone's yards everyday and acts like he wants to talk.



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 2:07:38 PM)

maybe he's lonely. introduce him to Frogkissen's terrorist neighbor and send them off on the boat with the pitbulls.

my neighbors are boring. all they do is work and mow their lawns. how can I get exciting neighbors like you guys?



beauregarde -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 2:34:56 PM)

Buy a horse, and parade around like Lady Godiva.


I have a neighbor whom is real cranky. How can a I elicit laughter from him instead tsk, tsk, tsk?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 7:07:57 PM)

Go look in all his windows and scream FIRE.[sm=funny.gif][sm=moocow.gif][sm=mouse.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif]


How or what is the perfect picnic?



Hisjoy -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 9:33:39 PM)

One where ants would crawl all over you and the food.

What clothes should one wear to go visit the President?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/9/2008 10:28:44 PM)

a bathing suit.



If you put your socks on the table after you wear them where do you put your food?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/10/2008 12:59:17 PM)

between your toes (yuck)

my neighbor is driving me nuts obsessively power mowing his lawn. how can I make him shut it off?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/10/2008 2:10:26 PM)

Dump out garbage all over the lawn and have the local concrete company come and dump their leftover cement.



My neighbour is always taking his Harley out and it's noisy. What should I do?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/11/2008 5:03:40 PM)

put sugar in his gas tank.

I want to be rich and skinny quickly and easily. what should I do?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/11/2008 6:25:16 PM)

Go get chemotherapy and that will help you get skinny. Take all your money and go to casinos, after you could win big!!


I want to get 30 years younger.



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/12/2008 1:38:05 PM)

Well, they say exercise takes years off , so does healthy diet, certain face creams, a good attitude, etc. Just do enough of those things and you'll get 30 years off.

I need to work on some chores but am lazy. what should I do?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/12/2008 3:24:37 PM)

Drink a high energy drink and eat chocolate coated coffee beans and espresso coffee.


I'm tired because my sleep got interupted by someone ringing my doorbell at 4:30 this am. A lady let a guy take her car and he didn't come back. I was worried about her if it was a murderer she had picked as new internet beau! But turns out this guy was away visiting with a friend instead of coming back with her car to be with her. Nice eh?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/13/2008 1:26:55 PM)

from now on, disconnect your phone and doorbell at night and post a big sign on your lawn, 'in case of emergency, call 911'.

lately I don't like going to church. how can I have a better attitude?



Carleejoan -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/13/2008 10:45:13 PM)

Go visit the Psych wards and intensive care units of your local hospital. That may help you to have a better attitude. [sm=funny.gif][sm=eek.gif][sm=crazy.gif]


How can maintain an upbeat attitude helping with VBS for the preschool set?



Kerrlaw -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/13/2008 11:08:45 PM)

Pop a couple of amphetamines while they carry the flag in.


How can I get better at video games?



still4gvn -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/14/2008 7:01:05 PM)

subscribe to one of the mags that give cheat codes.

I don't want to turn on the stove til about October when it cools off. What do we eat meanwhile?



slushie -> RE: Bad Advice III New Starter one! You guys! (7/18/2008 2:29:19 PM)

Go to bed, lie down, and pretend that you're sick and on the verge of death. If your neighbors are any good, they'll cook food for you.

My legs are so tired from swimming. [sm=worried.gif] What do I do?



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