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cognitivemagic -> RE: lacking understanding (6/24/2008 12:25:07 AM)
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I deeply sympathize with your concern and want to commend you for having the courage to seek some understanding/help in spiritual matters. First off, all Christians have turned away from God sometime in their walk with Him. Often daily. Look at St. Peter. He was bold in his proclamation that he would follow the Lord Jesus Christ anywhere, even unto death. However, the Lord revealed to him that he would deny Him 3 times. Or what about Jonah. God wanted him to go preach to the Ninevites but he refused. So God sent a whale to take him to those people anyway. And yet, Jonah still refused...and even sulked about it. So, turning away is not uncommon, even for "saintly" biblical figures. The next point is this: if you had fallen away from the grace of God, permanently, you wouldn't care. God, who lives in your heart, wouldn't be prompting you to seek some help/guidance with your fear. If God were no longer dealing with you, you wouldn't feel any fear....or care. There were times, personally, where I felt that I was another Judas Iscariot. I grew deeply distraught and fearful of my salvation and nearly ended my life. But God was merciful. The "sin" of Judas was no different than St. Peter. The difference between Judas and St. Peter is that St. Peter believed that the Lord would take him back, in spite of his sin; Judas, on the other hand, did not. Judas was not "locked out" from the grace of God....but he believed he was. Therefore, in despair, he ended his life. But God still loves Judas. And that's what I hope that you meditate on: God's love for you; demonstrated by the fact that you are still living and breathing in this present age. Therefore, it doesn't make sense to say that God has given up on you or that you have no hope for salvation. God often uses our "fears" to prompt us to come back and enjoy Him. God bless and I hope this helps.
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