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beachcooky -> RE: Nightmares. (7/11/2008 6:55:56 PM)
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I was abused growing up. By my Cousin (sexually) and my Dad (physically). My Dad was the worst. Bloody noses, bruises on my face, kicks in my back, choking. He used to throw stuff at me. This lasted for maybe 8 years. I'm not entirely sure. But in 9th grade, it was the worst.
This past year, I was diagnoses with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because of the abuse I went through with my dad. And let me tell you something, my DAD the one who ABUSED me did not get into ANY trouble. Instead of the police taking him, they took me because I used to fight back. Instead of him going to anger management, I went to pshyc wards. I was the only one who was punished. Doctors and my family told me it was MY fault that my Dad abused me. That what I did in my life, led my Dad to hurt me.
Until this year, when I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, was when I started having the nightmares. I have a nightmare about my Dad hitting me and I wake up, thrashing and punching my bed or my pillow. I have other nightmares with my Dad yelling at me and giving me bloody noses, and I wake up screaming at the top of my lungs.
It wasn't until THIS year was when I was recognized. I started going to a Christian doctor, and he never ONCE told me it was my fault. He called it out on my Dad actually. He told my Dad straight up that what he did was wrong. I was relieved, because someone took notice of me and realized the damage that my own dad did to me.
But those are the nightmares that I had. Where I wake up screaming. Where I wake up thrashing. I have many flashbacks, and my dreams are the worst.
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