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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 3:48:05 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3942
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Please understand, I think my BIL is a very good father. He invests a lot of time into his daughter; he takes her all sorts of places and does a lot with her. I don't mean to bash him, really.
But I'm pretty certain the "no dirt" rule is a constant.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 3:58:10 PM
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LaurainAL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Please understand, I think my BIL is a very good father. He invests a lot of time into his daughter; he takes her all sorts of places and does a lot with her. I don't mean to bash him, really.
But I'm pretty certain the "no dirt" rule is a constant.
My DH is just like your BIL. He doesn't like dirt at all. He looked visibly ill when our children smeared their first birthday cake all over themselves. That is why I am in charge of cleaning them up. But, yeah, your BIL is not a complete freak.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 6:14:38 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3942
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
He looked visibly ill when our children smeared their first birthday cake all over themselves.
Yeah, niece wasn't allowed birthday cake on her first birthday for that reason. I think for her second she had a cupcake, and he was really, really uncomfortable watching her eat it because of the mess.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 7:34:24 PM
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Bro_Shane
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I can not stand to see my children make a mess with food. The whole first birthday thing makes my blood run cold, and I can not understand what is so cute about it. I hate food in hair, in the chair, and all over the floor. I understand there will be some mess while they learn, and I'm OK with that. It's the intentional "cute" mess that I can't stand. As far as dirt goes, I'm not as uptight (if I am the one with a problem, which I do not concede), but I still can't see making a mess for the sake of making a mess. I don't mind my son getting dirty as much as my daughter, though.
Oh well. the longer I live I am convinced that I am right and everyone else is either wrong, crazy, or both.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 7:46:05 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3942
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The older Nathan gets, the better I expect him to be with food. He'll be 15 months tomorrow, so I expect some mess, but he already knows better then to throw food on the floor. He gets discipline for that, but I don't make a big deal about food getting off his plate and onto the table.
As far as outside dirty, well I think some kids just like digging in the dirt. I suppose you could call that making a mess for the sake of a mess, but kids do lots of things that don't have a specific purpose. They're just playing.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 7:52:53 PM
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garsyt
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quote:
I don't mind my son getting dirty as much as my daughter, though.
Why?
Why is it more okay for a boy to be messier/dirtier then a girl?
I truly think the parents that demand their daughters always be neat and tidy and never give them a chance to get dirty, are doing their daughters a serious disservice. Some of my favorite memories are of helping out in the gardens with both of my parents - we had a 2 acre garden so it was NOT easy work and we did get VERY messy and dirty. Some of my most treasured photos of my own children are those of them making a total mess of their food or when being creative - paint or markers. I love the memory I have of when my dd painted the head of her younger brother, accidentally, during an event where they were painting doghouses for a local shelter. They were 3 and 4 at the time! I remember the time when it was SO hot and we had to wait for big brother to be done with golf lessons, and there were HUGE puddles at the park (due to days on end of storms) and I allowed all three of my younger ones to jump in and get soaking wet without a second thought - even though there were only one blanket and two towels in my van at the time and NO clean clothing.
Kids are washable, clothing too. Why deny them the fun of being a child, for the sake of having every hair in place and no smudges on the face.
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 9:06:37 PM
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pbaribeault
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Of all the disservices that can be done to children, I'm not sure a little over-tidy-ness is really that serious of a problem for a parent to have. Sure, dirt is fun, but cleanliness never killed anyone either.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 9:23:59 PM
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Bro_Shane
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quote:
ORIGINAL: garsyt
Why?
Why is it more okay for a boy to be messier/dirtier then a girl?
I didn't say it was "more okay" for him to get dirty. I said it bothers me less. Also, as a father, I have to fight the urge to keep my daughter from anything whereby she may come to harm or hurt. I don't want her to be dirty, skin her knees, cry because a pet died, have her first kiss, or be hurt by some stupid boy. I won't necessarily try to stop these things (I'll try to delay that first kiss as looong as possible, though), but that doesn't mean I have to like them.
The next question would be whether I would be bothered less about my son getting his heart broken, etc. No, but I was making a point with the above - responding to a comment about a statement I did not make.
quote:
I truly think the parents that demand their daughters always be neat and tidy and never give them a chance to get dirty, are doing their daughters a serious disservice. Some of my favorite memories are of helping out in the gardens with both of my parents - we had a 2 acre garden so it was NOT easy work and we did get VERY messy and dirty. Some of my most treasured photos of my own children are those of them making a total mess of their food or when being creative - paint or markers. I love the memory I have of when my dd painted the head of her younger brother, accidentally, during an event where they were painting doghouses for a local shelter. They were 3 and 4 at the time! I remember the time when it was SO hot and we had to wait for big brother to be done with golf lessons, and there were HUGE puddles at the park (due to days on end of storms) and I allowed all three of my younger ones to jump in and get soaking wet without a second thought - even though there were only one blanket and two towels in my van at the time and NO clean clothing.
Nice for you. I hate dirt and filth. I know they will be dirty when they play but I do not have to revel in it.
I am not denying my children anything. I also never said that I denied them the chance to play and get dirty.
I guess it is better said that I hate dirt and mess for no purpose. Play is the purpose and end for children. I do not try to keep them from it. But, in a world where personal hygiene seems to be less and less of a concern, I find the idea of not being clean more and more revolting as I get older - especially in women and for reasons that are not polite to discuss. Call me sexist or politically incorrect, I do not care.
Besides, not bathing reminds me too much of hippes or the rainbow people - two freeloading and morally banrupt groups which I can not stand.
DISCLAIMER TO ALL WHO READ: Bro. Shane will often respond to posts with sarcasm and tongue-in cheek humor, which some people either do not understand or miss due to taking themselves too seriously. Any attempts by anyone to paint me as anyting other than a loving father, husband, and dedicated child of God that respects womanhood, as well as motherhood, will result in my having to e-flog you with an e-wet noodle in virtual public.
Have a nice day
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 10:17:44 PM
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Focusing
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I say let kids get dirty when they're playing. And kids get dirty when they eat. It just happens. I mean, how many adults spill food on occasion? I think it's silly to expect a child to never get dirty.
I mean, what's bath time for if not to get them clean?
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 10:39:54 PM
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NotDoneYet
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My kids (all of them) got filthy on a regular basis...I'd let them go outside and play in the rain, as long as it wasn't cold outside (like a summer rainshower). Where we live now, our back yard turns into a big mud puddle and we let the little ones (ages 5 and 3) go out and get FILTHY...hose 'em off, take 'em up to the shower (gets most of the dirt off w/o getting the tub too filthy) and a little soap and shampoo and they're CLEAN!
My 3 year old will happily jump in any and all puddles and get FILTHY too. I don't worry about getting dirty...eventually they'll outgrow the need to roll in the mud (I hope).
Heck...let 'em get dirty...soap, water, shampoo, a good stain pre-treat and detergent work wonders!
(oh and if the fingernails get too gross, cut 'em...gets the dirt right out)
NDY
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 10:41:43 PM
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cindybode
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My girls and my boys all get filthy on a regular basis. They're washable.
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/24/2008 10:44:20 PM
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garsyt
Posts: 2203
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quote:
Of all the disservices that can be done to children, I'm not sure a little over-tidy-ness is really that serious of a problem for a parent to have. Sure, dirt is fun, but cleanliness never killed anyone either.
I guess it's a matter of balance.
Of course I want my kids to be presentable when they go off to school or to church, but if they are off playing soccer or messing around climbing a tree or at the playground or by chance getting to enjoy a cupcake at a birthday party - I'm not going to have a hissy or have to clean them or the space up right away.
There is a lot a child could miss out on by not being allowed to dig in the dirt, or plant a flower - which, from the sounds of it is something that the OP's BIL would not be able to handle at all. From the sounds of it this father would not allow his little girl to bake a cake, play with paint, or help change a bike tire. There's nothing wrong with being clean and tidy, but not getting to experience some of the messier parts of life would be a shame as well.
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/25/2008 1:12:48 PM
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doinkdom
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My grandsons come over and play - they play hard - they play in the dirt with utensils that I provide them. I give them whatever plastic they want to dig, make mud pies whatever...
But when they come inside, they take baths and all that play dirt washes off and they're clean.
What bothers me is more about personal hygiene (that parents actually have to do for the child) than actual playing in the dirt. What I mean is long fingernails on children where more than just dirt gets shoved in there - they need to be clipped regularly. Same with toenails. And ankles and any other rough spots like elbows, etc. need extra attention when bathing because dirt gets trapped in the wrinkles there. Behind ears, etc.
When I am the one to get them bathed, I then have each child sit with me while I "groom" them.
But the very next morning is outside and playing again.
I am more concerned that little boys and girls keep their underwear clean, even if that means changing it once during the say cause they waited almost too long to go to the bathroom. It's not a habit to get into and can cause health issues for little girls on down the road.
Hygiene isn't always about the dirt smudges on their faces and clothes. And keeping them in a pristine environment is not good for them either.
After all, God created us to interact with the earth. Maybe not always face first, but to some degree yes?
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/26/2008 9:13:12 AM
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IonMoon
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IME more parents try to keep their girls clean than boys, some parents just don't like dirt in general, but most are somwhere in the middle. I think I am on the ultra-tolerant side (though I still expect good hygeine!).
When I worked in childcare, I found that girls were much more willing to do messy activities and it was more often boys that had to be coaxed into them. I was the teacher who was not afraid to bring in dirt and worms from outside, slime, etc.
Because, as doinkdom said, dirt (paint, markers, etc) washes away.
My kids are 16 & 19... and they STILL get dirty! They always like it when I take them to the park, rather than their friend's parents, because they don't want them to go into the creek, woods, etc, because they will get mud in the car, etc. I just plan ahead by keeping towels, baby wipes, etc in the car.
It isn't getting dirty for the sake of getting dirty (and I do strongly believe in good hygeine!), it is getting dirty for the sake of exploration, discovery, etc.
What does bug me, is when they come in to clean up and leave mud in the bathroom or trailed through the house.
Tara P
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/26/2008 9:32:08 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
getting dirty for the sake of exploration, discovery, etc.
And that is very important!
This is why many moms have the reputation of being prepared for any event, lol. I will never forget when we had eight kids at the park for a birthday--my two, their three siblings, and my friend and her three kids...oh, I forgot one, plus the little girl I babysat, so I guess that makes nine. With three women in attendance. The boys took their sister and friends hiking on 'dead man's trail' (so named by them, of course) and their sister fell in the creek. Nate was able to be the hero and save her, and it was all very cool...since we had a towel with us to make the girl a toga out of while her clothes dried!
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/27/2008 4:33:09 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
rainbow people
Huh? What are those?
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/27/2008 8:47:51 AM
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stellaluna
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
rainbow people
Huh? What are those?
hippies
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/27/2008 11:22:29 AM
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DougHorton
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From: Georgia
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How can girls learn to cook without starting with mud pies? (just joking folks, don't pm me, please)
Of course girls can play in the dirt!
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You may think it strange, but he never likes any assistance. When he made the world, he did not ask the angel Gabriel so much as to cool the molten matter with his wing, but he did it entirely himself. -- Spurgeon
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RE: Girls and dirt - 6/27/2008 11:49:50 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5146
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Lol, Doug!
When my sister and I were little, we used to make "iced tea" (a pitcher full of watered down mud) to go with our mud pies.
We also used to make "paint" out of mud. We painted all of Dad's lawn furniture--chairs, patio table, etc.) with mud. We even gave it multiple coats. Oh, the things you can do with mud!
We also used to build cities in the dirt at the end of the sidewalk, and decorate them with broken pieces of glass from beer bottles that we'd find, since we lived a few doors down from a bar. We'd put food in our cities to attract ants, and then we'd flood the sidewalk with the hose and wreak havoc on our ant city. We'd float some of the ants on leaves down the current to save them.
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First birthday cake being the exception...that's a right of passage.
