Girls and dirt (Full Version)

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Sideways -> Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 9:38:59 AM)

I only have a son, so I don't know about this. My 3 year old niece is not allowed to get dirty, so when we all go to the park or outside in a backyard, her father especially gets very upset if she just wants to play in the dirt. He also gets very upset at her if she spills any food or drink on herself during mealtime.

Now my son loves to play in the dirt, and I'm not going to stop him from exploring. My niece has no special medical conditions and she has more clothes then I could ever hope to wear, so it's not a money issue.

I know that often little girls are expected to be ladylike[:'(], but is being neat and clean at all times part of this? Do other parents of daughters not allow them to get dirty?



car2ner -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 9:55:01 AM)

My daughter got filthy. Took baths when she got home. Wore old clothes to play in. Now she is in theater, you should have seen her as one of the bad-girls in Christmas Carol... good and grungy.

Some people just don't like to get dirty, even if their folks don't mind. I've even met boys who didn't want to get their hands dirty!



manda59 -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 10:06:29 AM)

Poor little girl, I feel sorry for her. She could easily grow up with all kinds of complexed and neuroses. Even, ironically, health problems.

My ds didn't like getting dirty or messy, but my dd didn't care and just loved getting mucky. Almost as soon as she could walk she was jumping in cow pats and horse poo, lol.

There's nothing wrong with kids getting dirty (in fact, it probably strengthens their immune system) so long as they wash afterwards.



pbaribeault -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 10:15:31 AM)

I have 2 girls, and I allow them to get moderately dirty, most of the time... But I'm a bit lazy and sometimes I prevent dirt play because the extra work of clean-up doesn't appeal to me. I do expect eating and drinking to be as tidy as possible for the age of the child in question.

I've never thought of it as a gender issue, but I don't have boys, so I don't know if I would react differently with them.



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 10:33:45 AM)

I have two boys and one girl. They all play in the dirt from time to time...but since we are at the beach, it's more sand play than dirt. LOL The girl doesn't really LIKE to get dirty...as soon as she does, she will run to me to get it off. I did the same thing when I was little. She will go right back to it though...so I guess she doesn't mind it enough to make her leave it alone. BUT I do have a cousin who had a little girl...she didn't let her get dirty, and if she did, she went balistic. Most of the time, the little girl ate in her diaper because her mother didn't want her to get her clothes dirty...even when we were having a family dinner, she'd strip the girl! It became a joke with all of us... By the time she had her second girl, she let her get dirty as she wanted.



amybreit -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 10:38:53 AM)

Well, I was just commenting to my dh the other day that it seems like our dd is SO much messier than ds was at her age (she's 10 now - he's 13). I have to check ALL of her clothes closely when washing to make sure they get pretreated if necessary (and it's usually necessary). Dh reminded me that ds invariably got mustard on his pants a few years back & that it drove me crazy (he's actually better about it now, although I still have to remind him what a napkin is for![;)])! Anyway, I was trying to figure out if I'm just pickier about her clothes or what. Having said that - she loves mud!!! We have a dirt patch in the back yard (where the dogs have worn a path) and when she has friends over, they get the hose out & make mud! They make "food" out of mud & play restaurant and have a generally good time. But she knows that she better have play clothes on when she's out in the mud!!



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:14:53 AM)

quote:

I know that often little girls are expected to be ladylike , but is being neat and clean at all times part of this? Do other parents of daughters not allow them to get dirty?


I think that's just obsessive behavior, not gender oppression. Unless your niece has a brother and he is allowed to get dirty?? [&:]

My family was dresses/skirts only for many years and we were expected to be modest and ladylike as kids when the situation called for it but we got plenty dirty as little girls. And we worked hard and played hard and got incredibly sweaty. I expect my girls will do the same, if God gives me any.

I do have to admit, it was difficult for me to let go and allow even my boys to get filthy like they want to. It's not an aversion to them *getting* dirty so much as an aversion to cleaning them up, because the cleanup is a pain in the doggone neck. [>:] However, their joy and health and exposure to clean air and creative outlet is more important than my desire for a clean floor, so...they're mud puppies. [8D]



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:20:06 AM)

quote:

Some people just don't like to get dirty, even if their folks don't mind. I've even met boys who didn't want to get their hands dirty!


Yeah. In my family, my brother was the clean-freak and hated dirt and mess and disorder. We girls got much messier than he. To this day he still is very particular about his hygiene and clothing, and we girls aren't so much. When he's home, he becomes Lord of the Dishwasher, because none of us do the dishes "properly" and every bathroom in the house is thoroughly bleached when he's around.



Consecrated2God -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:21:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways

I only have a son, so I don't know about this. My 3 year old niece is not allowed to get dirty, so when we all go to the park or outside in a backyard, her father especially gets very upset if she just wants to play in the dirt. He also gets very upset at her if she spills any food or drink on herself during mealtime.

Now my son loves to play in the dirt, and I'm not going to stop him from exploring. My niece has no special medical conditions and she has more clothes then I could ever hope to wear, so it's not a money issue.

I know that often little girls are expected to be ladylike[:'(], but is being neat and clean at all times part of this? Do other parents of daughters not allow them to get dirty?


Aw, I think it's good to let kids get dirty sometimes. That's part of being a kid. I used to play in the dirt all the time as a kid. Sounds like the dad is just a little OCD to me.

My oldest daughter loves to get dirty. All my kids do to a point, but she's always been the most that way. She cares more about her appearance now that she's gettin ga little older than she used to, but I don't see why she should have to worry about being ladylike too much yet. She's still a kid, not a lady.



Sideways -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:26:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I think that's just obsessive behavior, not gender oppression. Unless your niece has a brother and he is allowed to get dirty?? [&:]


You may have a point there. He only has daughters, and he can be a bit obsessive. I was just curious how other parents were about this idea.



karlie -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:32:52 AM)

I allowed my little girls to get as dirty as they wanted during outside playtime. They got daily baths, play clothes that were just for that purpose, and had plenty of clean clothes to put on after baths, so it was no big deal to me at all. Some of it is personality though and not always parental influence. My oldest daughter would play in the dirt until she was covered in it and had a ball. She made mud pies and even had a dirt hill with trucks that her dad made for her and they spent many hours playing in it together. Then she'd come inside, get her bath and play dress up like a little princess...the best of both worlds! But, my youngest daughter was her polar opposite and hated dirt(like her mama). She avoided it whenever possible and would wash her hands everytime she even touched the ground or anything dirty. She had total permission to get as dirty as she wanted during outside playtime, she just didn't see the appeal in it that her sister did. It was just the way she was.



LaurainAL -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:45:43 AM)

My DH doesn't like either of our kids to get dirty (girl and boy). He just doesn't like dirty. However, I have veto power over this issue and just let them be dirty and clean them up when we come inside.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:48:25 AM)

quote:

My 3 year old niece is not allowed to get dirty

Ok, that is definitely the dumbest thing I will hear all day. Like having two X chromosomes makes you allergic to dirt? What are they thinking?



doinkdom -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 11:53:02 AM)

I only had a daughter and she was like a pig rooting around a pig pen.

I invested in a garden hose and she got outside (clothes on) showers before she was allowed inside the house. I had a towel/robe she could wear once she got inside the laundry room door to change out of the wet and straight to the shower.

Clean up was actually a lot of fun for me![;)]

Some daddies just don't like to see their little princesses get dirty - maybe they want them to be picture perfect.[&:]



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 12:12:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: doinkdom

I only had a daughter and she was like a pig rooting around a pig pen.

I invested in a garden hose and she got outside (clothes on) showers before she was allowed inside the house. I had a towel/robe she could wear once she got inside the laundry room door to change out of the wet and straight to the shower.

Clean up was actually a lot of fun for me![;)]

Some daddies just don't like to see their little princesses get dirty - maybe they want them to be picture perfect.[&:]


Was I your daughter[8D][:D]

That is the same thing my mother did to us when we were little.

I don't plan on restricting Gabby or any other girls from playing in the dirt. It's loads of fun and good for ya!(well, maybe not the dirt but the outside activity sure is) Clothes are washable and so is skin. But then, we give baths every night so it wouldn't really add to my workload.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 12:17:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I invested in a garden hose and she got outside (clothes on) showers before she was allowed inside the house. I had a towel/robe she could wear once she got inside the laundry room door to change out of the wet and straight to the shower.

Clean up was actually a lot of fun for me![;)]


I was just going to post the same thing!!! During the summer they can get as dirty as they want (I have one girl and 3 -- soon to be 4 -- boys) The exception being (of course) that if they had just been dressed up for an event (like a family portrait) that they have to wait until we get back home and they change into play clothes. Get messy and hose 'em down!

In the cooler months, "dirty play" is reserved to the sand table at playgroup, and anything that can be contained to the dining room table (like papier mache) I make sure for things like that, we have a bucket full of warm, soapy water and a towel handy, so they can get the initial muckiness off before travelling elsewhere in the house. (And if it is going to be *really* messy, each child has an old bedsheet clipped to them) ...

With the number of products out there like Spray'n'Wash ... clean up is even easier ... you can pretreat and let it sit for a while ... laundry isn't an 'immediate' concern. Hey -- get messy with them!!!



karlie -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 12:19:41 PM)

quote:

But then, we give baths every night so it wouldn't really add to my workload.

That's how we were. Then girls got baths every night before bedtime, even if they didn't play outside, so it never seemed like cleaning up from dirt time was a big deal. All it usually meant was an earlier bath in the late afternoon instead of evening. I did used to have to shake Britt's clothes outside before putting them in the washer though! They were a mess [:D]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:04:16 PM)

You know, I get dirty gardening. I get dirty cleaning house. I get really dirty using clay and other art supplies. Do they really expect her to live that sit on the couch looking pretty and being pretty much airheaded kind of life? No reading books in trees, no swimming in the lagoon, heaven forbid she should break a sweat riding her bike...what kind of childhood do they want her to have?!



pbaribeault -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:08:59 PM)

Keep in mind that the niece in question is always either 'visiting' or 'having guests' while her auntie is observing her. Perhaps she gets to be dirty under other circumstances... maybe when her father is not so nearby or self-conscious?



isaacsmom -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:11:47 PM)

I also tend to wonder if it is just a personal obsession thing and not necessarily a gender thing. Some people just don't do dirt, LOL (like Maggie mentioned about her brother).

We allow our son and daughter to get dirty. They are dirty a lot because they play outside daily. And we live on a farm with lots of animals that they constantly "love on". We just bathe them nightly, and I make sure they have clean hands/faces before they eat or drink. Just this morning while I was working outside 18-month DD was scooping up handfuls of mud with her tiny hands and filling her teacups. [8|][:D]

eta: HERE they are after they just collected some worms.



karlie -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:25:02 PM)

quote:

Just this morning while I was working outside 18-month DD was scooping up handfuls of mud with her tiny hands and filling her teacups.

Awwww, that brings back memories! Some of the cutest pictures I have of Britt were her covered head to toe in dirt and hands caked with mud from her "tea parties". One of the finniest pictures I have is with her little sister looking on in pure disgust...lol. Definitely different personalities there!



Consecrated2God -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:29:10 PM)

quote:

Keep in mind that the niece in question is always either 'visiting' or 'having guests' while her auntie is observing her. Perhaps she gets to be dirty under other circumstances... maybe when her father is not so nearby or self-conscious?


That's a good point. We try to keep our kids cleaner when we have company as well.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 1:44:33 PM)

My kids are all filthy on a regular basis. Of course, they also get cleaned up on a regular basis too. It's all good. And my husband is the designated tub scrubber, so that's even better. LOL



stellaluna -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 2:08:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:

My 3 year old niece is not allowed to get dirty

Ok, that is definitely the dumbest thing I will hear all day.

Oh, somehow I doubt that. [8|]
[:D]

I was always dirty as a kid--me and my three brothers. We used to make slip and slides from mud in the backyard because we didn't have a real plastic one. We got the waterhose shower, like the one already mentioned. I rode horses and mucked out stalls from the time I was about three. I played in the chicken coop, had clod fights with the neighborhood kids and played baseball in a vacant dirt lot. Most of that was barefoot, too. Playing in the dirt is good for a kid, girl or boy.



manda59 -> RE: Girls and dirt (6/24/2008 3:17:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: isaacsmom
eta: HERE they are after they just collected some worms.




Just *love* the "Isabelle NO!!!"s [:D][:D]



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