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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 11:50:54 AM
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okrox
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Apparently, not everyone has heard.
Boring is the new sexy.
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Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 12:38:58 PM
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hotsaucygma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blazingson
One of the things I've noticed among believing and unbelieving women and girls, females as a whole, is that the only time they want a nice guy is after they've married the bad-boy.
Women, whether they are believers or not, have this perverse way about them of desiring the excitement, risk and danger of dating the bad-boy and then expecting him to magically transform into the nice-guy once they are married to each other.
To a degree this is true, some- some, women like the risk/danger of dating the bad-boy, usually younger women. Wiser (not all older women are wiser, but my feeling has always been that there isn't much sense to getting older if you don't also get wiser), often older, women have learned that "bad-boys" are not all their cracked up to be. Sadly that often does happen after they have married one.
quote:
I can't number the times I've heard a divorced lady say, "I'll never understand why I married that jerk." Or something like it. Speaking as a divorced woman, that is sometimes mostly anger speaking. Sometimes it is absolutely true, the guy was a jerk and they thought it would change, but sometimes the guy has his good points but she just isn't up to admitting that at the moment. I truly believe it takes two people working at it to make a good marriage, and it takes two to make it fail- sometimes one person has more responsibility than another, but there are always two "sides".
As far as liking "nice" men or not. Depends. There are some very nice men I like, and some nice men I don't dislike, but don't have much in common with. Some nice men I would love to date, some nice men I would not want to date. Recently a very nice man asked me out to dinner a couple times. He is very nice. He loves golf. He is very involved in his church. He is accommodating, but not a pushover. However, it just doesn't click for me. I don't like golf, lol. The church he is involved in is not one I am comfortable in. We like several of the same things, but ... it's just not there. Can't help it. Does he/will he finish last? With me yes. With the right woman- I'm sure he'll be number one!
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Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 12:56:19 PM
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BlessUsLord
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Perhaps these "nice guys" you are referring to are pursuing "bad girls" or women who do not have Christ as the head of their lives. Maybe that's why these so called "nice guys" finish last. To be honest, I rarely come across truly genuine NICE GUYS on a daily basis. Maybe they really aren't as "nice" as they think they are.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 4:27:36 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blazingson
In my experience, "nice-guys" do finish last. At least over all.
I like to sit back and watch the world pass, people going about their business, doing what people do day-in and day-out. One of the things I've noticed among believing and unbelieving women and girls, females as a whole, is that the only time they want a nice guy is after they've married the bad-boy.
Women, whether they are believers or not, have this perverse way about them of desiring the excitement, risk and danger of dating the bad-boy and then expecting him to magically transform into the nice-guy once they are married to each other. And they expect this to happen based solely on the strength of her love for him. And to top it off, they are actually hurt when he doesn't do this flip-plop instantly.
I can't number the times I've heard a divorced lady say, "I'll never understand why I married that jerk." Or something like it.
I have to say, that at least for some, they really may not have known the guy was such a BAD boy. Some bad boys look really good on the outside,(to be fair I have to say the same for women) I have dated them(the men of course  ) Many of them had incredible qualities that I would look for in a spouse..... I walked away praising the Lord for the gift of discernment, and for showing me the "bad" before it was too late. Trying to change a guy into a "good guy" is not my idea of a good marriage. KWIM
_____________________________
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams.... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 4:30:05 PM
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hotsaucygma
Posts: 3007
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I have to agree Nadine. Some guys are very good at pretending to be something they are not. As you said, some women too.
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 4:35:04 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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quote:
Maybe that's why these so called "nice guys" finish last.
That was kind of the point of my post. With that young man, even my dad thought I was rejecting a "nice guy," because I wanted some exciting bad boy, and that wasn't it, that guy WAS NOT NICE TO ME, even though he came across as a nice guy to others. Men may think they are being nice, but they should really try find out how the girl would like to be treated.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 4:44:08 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
Maybe that's why these so called "nice guys" finish last.
That was kind of the point of my post. With that young man, even my dad thought I was rejecting a "nice guy," because I wanted some exciting bad boy, and that wasn't it, that guy WAS NOT NICE TO ME, even though he came across as a nice guy to others. Men may think they are being nice, but they should really try find out how the girl would like to be treated.
If they are rude to the wiater (or others generally) they are not nice people no matter how well they treat you.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 4:58:10 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Oh yeah, I agree with that. It's just that this guy was the other way around..nice to the store clerk but rude to me. Not rude in the tradtional sense, but rude in the sense of "YOU WILL LIKE ME," and YOU WILL BE THIS WAY, etc
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 5:13:12 PM
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hotsaucygma
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And when you think of it, is there anything "more rude" or more "not nice" than someone trying to make you into something you are not? If you don't like me the way I am, move on please! I don't mean that we shouldn't all "grow", or don't have room to improve, but if you don't like "who I am", why be here!?
_____________________________
Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 5:31:24 PM
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twinkly
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I'd give anything for a truly nice boring guy!
I have had my share of bad boys and not nice guys and have no interest in that anymore.
nice guys, where the heck are you?
< Message edited by twinkly -- 6/26/2008 5:37:53 PM >
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 9:44:17 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:
As far as liking "nice" men or not. Depends. There are some very nice men I like, and some nice men I don't dislike, but don't have much in common with. Some nice men I would love to date, some nice men I would not want to date. Recently a very nice man asked me out to dinner a couple times. He is very nice. He loves golf. He is very involved in his church. He is accommodating, but not a pushover. However, it just doesn't click for me. I don't like golf, lol. The church he is involved in is not one I am comfortable in. We like several of the same things, but ... it's just not there. Can't help it. Does he/will he finish last? With me yes. With the right woman- I'm sure he'll be number one!
Of course that's true. Because of differences in personality and interests, you aren't going to click with every man out there. Even if he is a nice-guy.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 9:45:39 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: twinkly
I'd give anything for a truly nice boring guy!
I have had my share of bad boys and not nice guys and have no interest in that anymore.
nice guys, where the heck are you?
We're up here in the Northwest, Maam.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/26/2008 11:15:54 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Yeah, they do, LOL!
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/27/2008 8:09:23 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17856
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Is is entirely possible Tink. Ironically for better or for worse, I think I am much more confident and more of a "bad guy" these days than I ever used to be. When I was in my teens I was much more timid instead.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/27/2008 12:19:26 PM
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jlp1
Posts: 125
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From: Chicago
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Is is entirely possible Tink. Ironically for better or for worse, I think I am much more confident and more of a "bad guy" these days than I ever used to be. When I was in my teens I was much more timid instead.
That's my point its not about good guy vs bad guy (cause all guys pretty basic to me) it's about confidence and if confidence describes a bad boy then nice guy should get some. Confidence is appealing in all honesty, be it good guy or bad guy. No woman want a timid man so to all the nice guys SPEAK UP.. As christian we are to quick to judge and label people cause nice guys can be jerks I know plenty of them.
< Message edited by jlp1 -- 6/27/2008 8:31:58 PM >
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/27/2008 8:10:40 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17856
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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quote:
ORIGINAL: okrox
IN WHICH I EXPLAIN TO YOU BOY PEOPLE ALL ABOUT GIRL PEOPLE, THE WHOLE SECRET BEHIND HOW THEY WORK, AND WHAT'S UP WITH THAT BAD-BOY THING:
Now, men, this is powerful, powerful knowledge. You must promise to use this for good and not evil. And I am telling you this at a great price. I am risking my membership in the girl's club by revealing this. Are you ready for it? Can you handle it? Sit down.
Women want to feel special.
That's it. That's the secret behind it all. We want to feel special. That's explains everything you guys don't get about us. It explains Tupperware and scrapbooking and eyeliner and gossip and Lifetime TV and just everything. We want to feel special.
As a woman matures, though, she learns to look for that "specialness" in appropriate ways. And as a Christian woman matures, she learns to recognize God's passionate love as something that makes her feel special.
But some women don't get that far in their maturing process, and get stuck in that stage where they are living for nothing but the drive to "Feel Special".
Which is where the bad boy thing comes in. Sometimes, the thinking--sub-conscious, of course-- is "I know this is a bad man. I'm the ONLY ONE who sees his goodness hidden deep inside. ONLY me. If I can make this BAD MAN be GOOD, just for ME, and nobody ELSE...even just every once in a while...then I must be real, real, real special, right?
I see this at work a hundred times a day. I am a correctional instructor in a state penitentiary. I see all these really, really bad men who have all, at one point or another in their lives, dragged some good woman down with them.
I also know about this first hand.
But I got over it. The doctor says we're much better, now.
And as for the Current Person Of Interest, whenever friends and family ask me about him, I ALWAYS seem to start with..."He's soooooooooo nice."
I told him recently, "Yeah, I am at the place in my life where I find integrity, character, maturity and kindness to be very, very hot."
(He seemed to like that.)
Anyway. There you have it, boys. That's all there is to it. Just make us feel special.
(See how simple it all is? I bet you're slapping your foreheads now, arent' you?)
Yes, but then why do women's best male friend only seen as such then?
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/28/2008 9:57:53 AM
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okrox
Posts: 157
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LabGuy
quote:
ORIGINAL: okrox
Apparently, not everyone has heard.
Boring is the new sexy.
That's odd. Then why isn't my name on any of those magazines' "sexiest guys" lists? 
-Robb
Oh! Did you miss it? It was in last month's issue of "Women Who've Finally Grown Up Quarterly"
_____________________________
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die.
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/30/2008 2:02:17 PM
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ju-ju
Posts: 66
Joined: 4/28/2008
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Honestly? I have to admit I am drawn to the rough-and-tumble types. That is my "natural" attraction. I like a man who is rough around the edges, bold, boisterous (sp?), confident
.....but NOT a jerk, a player. There's a difference.
BUT I believe a man can be like a strong lion, loud and confident and rough, and STILL be a "nice guy". That is the kind of man with whom I would feel protected.
Of course, I am assuming by the term "nice guy" in the original post, that means the worldly term....."whimpy, a push-over, soft, weak and mealy-mouthed.....all VERY UNATTRACTIVE traits in believers and non-believers alike.
As far as THOSE kinds of nice guys finishing last? OF COURSE THEY WILL! No woman truly wants a man she can master, although we all have the curse of trying to master a man.
(just my two cents on all that) :)
< Message edited by ju-ju -- 6/30/2008 3:13:36 PM >
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http://www.myspace.com/julishines
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RE: Nice Guys Finish Last at Least So They Say - 6/30/2008 2:05:34 PM
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ju-ju
Posts: 66
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Above_All
I think that men can be both manly AND sensitive but some women think that men are either or. A very good point!
quote:
...for the most part women still want a manly man. Exactly what I was saying in my first post! It's so true.
< Message edited by ju-ju -- 6/30/2008 3:12:58 PM >
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ju-ju <>< (just little ol' me)
http://www.myspace.com/julishines
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