statement of faith - what to address? (Full Version)

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mayfly -> statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 4:12:29 AM)

Yesterday my fiance approached me with a serious problem... apparently his older brother (who is a worship leader) doesn't think I am a "true" Christian and he thinks I am terrible for him. Because he is in a position of authority and he respects him as an older sibling, my FH is scared that he might be right. Now I have to admit, I am new to faith (being raised atheist and all) but I am a sincere believer and I have a strong relationship with God now. Also, I wasn't allowed to have a bible when I first converted (I was living with my mother and she disapproved) so I haven't even got the solid theological background that most other Christians have, although I'm making up for it now. So although I am extremely hurt by his words, I can kind of understand how he might see that, and I know that he only wants the best for his little brother.

So, knowing that I love writing essays, my FH asked me if I could write a little piece describing what I believe and why, so that he could prove his brother wrong and feel more secure in our relationship himself. It seems that his brother's words have really shaken him and he's realizing now that we've never really discussed specifics of our faith, and he doesn't know if he can marry me if we differ radically (and I agree with that--after all, he is going to be a pastor and that would be so awkward for both of us if we disagreed on major issues). I'm happy to write it, but I don't really know where to begin.

So I guess my question is, what should I say in my "statement of faith"? What points should I address? I don't think he cares about where I stand on political issues (I think we're mostly in agreement on that front) but just general spiritual ones. I was thinking that I might take the lazy path and even just make a semi-point form list of things that I believe, supported by scripture (or supported by the lack of scripture.



mvic -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:08:52 AM)

Hi,

It is understandable that your fiance's brother is concerned about your religion; and the way you are taking this is most mature and commendable.

You say you don't have "the solid theological background that most other Christians have" Neither did the disciples when Jesus chose them as His followers.

Christianity, in my view, is not all about theology and philosophy and other "learned stuff"; although many would have you believe it is.

Christianity is believeing and accepting the Lord as your Saviour, who died to redeem our sins, and who is the only way to God. Being a Christian is living life as Christ-like as you can make it.

You've been asked to write a "statement of faith". Christianity is not about writing statements and sitting exams. At the gate of Heaven St Peter will not check your religious exam certificates as a condition of entry.

It would be all too easy to copy the Apostles Creed and say to your fiance's brother: here's what I believe.

If he insists on a statement: write down what you believe about God in your own words; and say that you are willing to learn more. Perhaps by joining a Bible Study Group. This shows your honesty and your future intentions to learn more.

God bless.



DaveW -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:23:08 AM)

There seems to be an attitude among some sets of believers (prevalent on this board) that if someone is new to faith and untrained, they are not really born again believers. This is entirely wrong. Everyone needs time to grow up in the faith. Everyone needs to be discipled. That is a years-long process.

There is also another attitude (not so prevalent on this board) that unless you agree with me on all doctrinal points you cannot be saved. I have lampooned this attitude in some of my posts.

Why does your future BIL think you are not a believer? Does he really manipulate your FH enough to make him and you jump thru his hoops? If so, this is entirely unhealthy and wrong. Perhaps he should be trying to prove to you that HE is saved, as his actions are not very christlike.



mvic -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:33:03 AM)

Good reply - DaveW.



DaveW -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:38:32 AM)

Our rabbi (senior pastor) has repeatedly made the point that it is impossible for anyone of us to tell for sure if a person is truly saved and walking under HIS lordship.

SO - he has taken the position that if someone claims that they are saved and are showing at least a little fruit, he will take them at their word.

The fact that the OP is even concerned about this would fit his definition of showing fruit.



mayfly -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 3:48:09 PM)

I agree that it doesn't seem very Christlike for my FH's brother to assume that about me, but I really do think that he has good intentions--as I said, my FH is planning on being a pastor and I think it's important that we don't have any major theological differences. That said, DO you folks think that it would be a major problem, or even a dealbreaker for our marriage if we didn't agree on all major issues? Like for example if he thought baptism was absolutely necessary and I thought it was a good idea but not 100% necessary for salvation? (For the record, we both believe the latter.) I know that even when we do differ on things we are respectful of each others opinions and I know that we both have good reasons for believing what we do. It does seem to have become a major issue for him though that he knows exactly what I believe.

Anyways, I have done some careful thinking and praying about this and I think that the only thing that we really differ on is out opinions on spreading the Word. He believes that it's essential to always share your beliefs with others and actively try to convert people (he lives this and I really admire him for it), whereas I agree in theory but I am not yet totally comfortable with speaking to strangers about my faith, so I don't believe that it's essential for me right now. Someday I'm sure I will be more comfortable with it, especially once I am more secure in my knowledge, but right now my shyness overrules my desire to spread the Word.

So I don't really know.

I think what I'm most stuck on is what to say. I mean, I think belief is so broad that it's impossible to talk about what I believe without going on for thousands of pages.

quote:

Our rabbi (senior pastor) has repeatedly made the point that it is impossible for anyone of us to tell for sure if a person is truly saved and walking under HIS lordship.

SO - he has taken the position that if someone claims that they are saved and are showing at least a little fruit, he will take them at their word.

I totally agree with this, is there scriptural support for this?



terryjohn -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 5:05:12 PM)

By all means submit to their weaknesses for the sake of Chirst alone, for it is nothing and may actually help you sort out some of your own ideas and show that you are approved of God. If in the process you lose them, that is but being honest in Christ. Yes we all grow and learn more in Christ and actually do change over the years as Christ would have us. Now we should all be concerned that potential partners would prevent us from being all we could be in Christ and you too should be concerned that your partner's weakness or imaturity would prevent you from being all you could be.

Through it all your love of Christ should be your guiding light. Now in all this, your love of Chirst fears no mans judgement nor does it fear their rejection for Chirst is all important. You could and should actually ask them to do likewise least you find them lacking in someway. However, rather than do such I would suggest that there should be no rush to marry until you are both sure of who the other is or is not in Chirst for we are told we shall know them by their fruits not the theological murmurings or idealisms.



ta_mosquito -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 5:10:37 PM)

If you are still going to go through with this, I suggest getting from the brother (or your boyfriend) the areas that they consider to be essentials, the "deal-breakers" if you don't believe the same way. Get this, then go through it and affirm or deny the statements with your reasoning.

Otherwise, you're playing "pin the essential doctrine on the donkey" trying to figure out what they want to know. [8|]



evry1needsgod -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:10:42 PM)

Here's my advice, and you are welcome to do with it what you want. [;)] I've been in your situation, and what needs to be done immediately is a long talk with your fiance about these issues. If it means you have to spend a whole day talking about each other's beliefs, so be it, but the LAST thing you need to do is find yourself in an unhappy marriage. The reason this must be done is a pastor of a church can not be married to a wife who can not support him due to opposing beliefs. If you find that the both of you disagree on issues you simply can not compromise on, then perhaps it is necessary to revisit God's Word and pray fervently to figure out whether or not this is truly God's will for your lives.

Then, when that conversation is over (Lord willing you 2 find common ground), you should speak to your fiance about his brother's actions. It is very mature of you to see where his brother is coming from (however unjustified), and you should talk to your FH about this situation, and ask your FH for his advice. What I would do (and did) is set up a meeting with your future brother-in-law so you and your fiance can speak to him about the concerns of both sides. And again, Lord willing, your future BIL will realize the true Christian you are. But this definately needs to be sorted out before you marry, because having a resentful BIL is something that could tear you and your husband apart. You don't want to be on bad terms with you in-laws!!! LOL. May God bless you for your patience and maturity!

In Christ,
ZG



EStan -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 6:25:17 PM)

All excellent advice. I have nothing to add, Mayfly, except to say "I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him." (Ephesians 1:17 HCSB) [:)]



SonInMe1 -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 8:36:30 PM)

quote:

a dealbreaker for our marriage if we didn't agree on all major issues?


I am not sure you can love someone and have major ideological differences. Maybe, if you can elaborate on what differences you two have, it might help the discussion.

THE major issues are believing Jesus is God, came here to provide the attoning sacrifice, and was raised to life. Jesus is the Truth and the only way to God.

Pretty much all else...are minor issues.

I don't think any man wants his wife to be some kind of ideological doormat, with no personal opinion. In any relationship there are going to be differences. They actually help us to grow together, communicating and working through these things.

I don't know about the pastor's wife thing. I am not sure how you are percieved by others can...or should...affect your marriage. I think...that should be between you and him.



evry1needsgod -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 8:57:19 PM)

quote:

SonInMe1:

Pretty much all else...are minor issues.


This may be the case for you, but not for everyone else. There are many issues other than the 5 you listed that are very personal to some, and rightfully so. I'm a missionary, and I wouldn't marry one who did not believe in the Trinity. I would not marry one who interpreted the Bible as just a piece of literature, void of God's power. To be honest with you, I doubt I'd marry an evolutionist either. So these other issues that may separate this couple may not be a big deal to you, but they could be to them, ESPECIALLY since he will be a pastor soon.



BibleL7 -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 9:48:07 PM)

The simplicity of it is forget about him possibly some day being a pastor, forget about his brother, Simply write what you believe and what is important to you in beliefs. Keep it honest and do not leave out what you think would be deal breakers and forget about what anyone else thinks are deal breakers. The whole point of the matter is before you get married you need to know that the person your going to marry is in agreement with you and if not it needs to be discussed. If after discussing it there are then no problems you should not have a problem marrying.



evry1needsgod -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 9:57:39 PM)

quote:

The simplicity of it is forget about him possibly some day being a pastor, forget about his brother


But this would be foolish. These are very important issues in her life right now that need to be addressed under the circumstances.



BibleL7 -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/27/2008 10:37:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: evry1needsgod

quote:

The simplicity of it is forget about him possibly some day being a pastor, forget about his brother


But this would be foolish. These are very important issues in her life right now that need to be addressed under the circumstances.


Why is it foolish to consider what is a decission of marriage the more imprtant thing in her life. First is relationship with Christ and second is Spouse I would say that is the main issue. When you are considering joining and becoming one with another person the most important issue is if there is a problem in that area. His brother has nothing to do with the relationship between the two of them. His occupation has nothing to do with it. It is a matter if the two entering into covenant are in agreement in faith. Anything else is secondary for if he causes her to turn from her relationionship with the Lord then she should not marry the guy PERIOD.



Ezra -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 2:09:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta_mosquito
If you are still going to go through with this, I suggest getting from the brother (or your boyfriend) the areas that they consider to be essentials, the "deal-breakers" if you don't believe the same way. Get this, then go through it and affirm or deny the statements with your reasoning.


This is the only wise approach. Most churches have a Statement of Faith. Get their's and affirm it, if you genuinely agree. By the same token, given your lack of Bible exposure, you may not be fully aware of certain teachings and the Scriptures on which they are founded. So tread carefully and search the Scriptures.



mayfly -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 2:38:13 AM)

Thank you everyone for your insightful responses. There have been lots of things mentioned here that I didn't even think about!

Anyways, I've started writing (well, thinking, praying, and researching, at least!). I know that both my FH and his brother are very much in agreement with their church's statement of faith, so I downloaded it from the website and I think I'm going to write my own along the same guidelines, using it as a reference (also so I can point out exactly where I agree/disagree).

(Oh and I just wanted to add, I don't go to their church because I'm in a different city, not because I don't like it or I'm particularly attached to another church.)



ta_mosquito -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 3:31:02 PM)

quote:

he'll realize Christian standards are not as important as being there for those you love.

When you're a Christian, your relationship with God is everything... even more than "being there for those you love."

If it's a choice between God and people you love, God wins.



colliefan -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 4:22:06 PM)

quote:

(also so I can point out exactly where I agree/disagree).


Be able to defend your position from Scripture and not your feelings. For a new believer this may prove difficult. But if feelings are not in line with Scripture it could be a sign of future problems.



Gazingstock -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 7:45:10 PM)

It is not necessary that you believe in a way that pleases humanity, but God.

When we think of it, during the time of Christ and the apostles, very few people could read, and almost no one had access to scripture. Their faith and knowledge was limited to what they heard, and believed in. Many were saved with extremely limited understanding, including the thief upon the cross who simply believed on Jesus Christ as the Son of God:

That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. -Jhn 3:15

And we also accept this:

But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. -Hbr 11:6



ta_mosquito -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 7:45:52 PM)

MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE

Let's get the thread back on topic. If you'd like to discuss how practical/absolute/inerrant/whatever the Bible is, please take it to a new thread.

The OP and her boyfriend are both Christians, so the topic isn't about dating unbelievers, either.

Thanks!

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Kath -> RE: statement of faith - what to address? (6/28/2008 10:09:19 PM)

I have deleted a bunch of off topic posts and those that responded. If you are not a Christian then you are not qualified to answer the questions posed in the OP.

Please stick to the topic, which is:
So I guess my question is, what should I say in my "statement of faith"? What points should I address? I don't think he cares about where I stand on political issues (I think we're mostly in agreement on that front) but just general spiritual ones.

Thank you.

Sincerely
Kath
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