What does "When a man is married, he must not date other women" mean
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[Poll]
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What does "When a man is married, he must not date other women" mean
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| Only on the night of your wedding you must not date anyone else |
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| For as long as you are a married man you must not date anyone else. |
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Total Votes : 59
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(last vote on : 8/6/2008 8:20:34 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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What does "When a man is married, he must not date... - 6/30/2008 12:37:23 AM
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benelchi
Posts: 2934
Joined: 9/14/2007
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If your pastor said:
"When a man is married, he must not date other women"
He most likely meant that:
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 1:41:41 AM
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amymelissa
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I highly doubt that your pastor would suggest that a married man would be able to date other women. I chose the second option
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 2:12:51 AM
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CoeurdeLeon_
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Seems we can't interpret "when" to mean only at one specific moment in time. Imagine that.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 2:14:57 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
I highly doubt that your pastor would suggest that a married man would be able to date other women. I chose the second option
Ditto.
If it weren't so tragic, I would think this question was a joke. One of the whole points of marriage is that two people commit to each other forsaking all others (not that you never talk with others, but your spouse is the only one you are intimate with, date, and share your deepest thoughts with). Why else would it be that God, who hates divorce allows it in case of adultery and abandonment (I personally think a spouse can emotionally abandon, but I don't wanna get too far into that because we already have a one stop thread on divorce and remarriage).
You know I try to be so careful as a single woman, that even if I am in a conversation with a married man, I try to make sure and constantly say ,"Your wife, this, your wife that," (good stuff, not criticizing), and even if they ask me an opinion, I'll say what does your wife think of that...and I avoid compromising situations..I don't want to pridefully say, "I would never mess with a married man," because God says pride goes before destruction, but by the grace of God, I have not so far been innapropriate with a married man, and hope to remain that way until the day I die. I try very hard to honor and uphold people's marriages and respect married women that their husbands belong to THEM. I even had a friend, whose husband I get along with great, and though he is nice looking, he is not my type at all, and I have NEVER felt attracted to him in that way, even before he was married (I knew him when he was single), and I used to babysit her kids once a day every week, and one of the weeks her husband had to be home that day, and we BOTH thought it would be best if the kids came to MY house that day..and they both said they trusted me more than anybody, but we all 3 agreed to what we did because even the APPEARANCE of evil. Now don't get me wrong, I have many COUPLES who I am friends with, and I am friends with both the husband and the wife, but I certainly do not go off alone with the husband EVER.
I really believe any woman that chooses to date a married man is in a lose lose situation, besides the fact that it is a sin. Because the man will either go back to the wife, or if the man did divorce his wife and marry her, she could never trust him.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 6/30/2008 2:38:52 AM >
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 3:11:43 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
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Umm... huh?
Dating shouldn't even be a thought in marriage. Ever.
When you enter marriage, you've already committed yourself to your spouse and them only. Why on earth would either individual seek interest in someone else, or go to the extremes of dating, when they're married?
If my wife enquired other men after we made this lifelong commitment, our marriage would be short lived.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 7:17:30 AM
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benelchi
Posts: 2934
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: amymelissa
I highly doubt that your pastor would suggest that a married man would be able to date other women. I chose the second option
Don't worry, my pastor didn't suggest that, nor would I have understood it that way.
The question is here simply as a question of interpretation. In another thread, there is a poster who tries to push the idea that the word "when" can NEVER grammatically be understood to refer to anything other than a single specific point in time. The poll is here simply to demonstrate that people can and do understand the word "when" with as broad of a definition as the dictionary uses to define it.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 2:08:36 PM
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bzirk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
If your pastor said:
"When a man is married, he must not date other women"
He most likely meant that:
He was stating the obvious, or he's dealing with someone from a culture that does not have the biblical view of monogamy.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 4:02:04 PM
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slushie
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I think that you have to look at it in the context of the verse and not just the word alone.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 4:12:41 PM
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buckifn
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just curious- why on earth would you need a pastor or anyone else to tell you this?
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 7:45:39 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
Married=no other women. That's it.
And vice versa. But yeah, what she said.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 7:56:39 PM
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ShutterBox
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When = the time of which something is occurring. Marriage is a continual thing, it is meant to last until death. So if "when a man is married" means the man is married until divorce or death and all the days in between that, then it's very safe to say that absolutely NO dating is right while two people are married to each other and the use of the word "when" should probably be "while" or "as long as". It depends on what translation I guess. But it's common sense that dating other people while married to your spouse is called "Cheating" and is considered wrong even in secular society.
If you ask me, this was a waste of your pastor's time analyzing this.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 8:30:50 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Actually, it's perfectly ok to "date" your spouse...
I was referring to dating someone else other than your spouse.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 9:51:22 PM
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SealedEternal
Posts: 1173
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Since "when" is being used in conjunction with a period of time rather than a point in time, by context it refers to the duration of the marriage rather than the wedding night.
SealedEternal
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 6/30/2008 10:45:32 PM
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benelchi
Posts: 2934
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slushie
I think that you have to look at it in the context of the verse and not just the word alone.
To put this in perspective, there is a poster in another forum who has repeatedly stated that "when" can only mean a specific point in time. His contention has been that because Duet 24:1-4 states that "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and writes here a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand..." , it could only be referring to permitting divorce on the wedding night. This poll was just to demonstrate that people can and do understand "when" with a much broader definition.
NOTE: The Policies of Crosswalk DO NOT allow discussions about "divorce and remarriage" outside of the one stop thread, so please limit the discussion here in this thread only to the grammatical use of "when", and whether the English langauge permits "when" to be understood for a period longer than one day in this verse, and/or in the example I gave above, and/or in any other case you can think of. Comments specific to "divorce and remarriage" should be posted in the one stop thread found here.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/2/2008 2:53:46 PM
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Kath
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This thread is now reopened. Thanks for your patience.
Sincerely
Kath
Please do not comment on this action in the community or send me a PM about it. If you have questions, comments or concerns please email Fritz at community@salemwebnetwork.com allowing time for a reply. Thanks!
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/3/2008 9:52:00 AM
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creationtalk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
ORIGINAL: slushie
I think that you have to look at it in the context of the verse and not just the word alone.
To put this in perspective, there is a poster in another forum who has repeatedly stated that "when" can only mean a specific point in time. His contention has been that because Duet 24:1-4 states that "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and writes here a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand..." , it could only be referring to permitting divorce on the wedding night. This poll was just to demonstrate that people can and do understand "when" with a much broader definition.
If we are going to take "when" so literally that it means one specific instance, then the wedding night is too late...the "when" they were married would be the wedding ceremony, which in this society generally ends with "I now pronounce you husband and wife" (or similar). The wedding night is after this.
If I speak of the period of time I was married, I generally say "When I was married." Where "when" spans a duration of time.
"When" can also mean more than one non-contiguous span of time as in "When we go on vacation, ... "
Therefore, "when" can refer to a specific instance of something-- "when we arrive, " --it can refer to a span of time, or multiple time periods or instances of the same thing--"when the fruit is on the vine".
In response to the OP's original question...
Apparently my xh took the "when" in our vows to mean only the wedding night, but I certainly didn't and don't.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/3/2008 1:03:30 PM
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benelchi
Posts: 2934
Joined: 9/14/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
quote:
ORIGINAL: benelchi
quote:
ORIGINAL: slushie
I think that you have to look at it in the context of the verse and not just the word alone.
To put this in perspective, there is a poster in another forum who has repeatedly stated that "when" can only mean a specific point in time. His contention has been that because Duet 24:1-4 states that "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and writes here a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand..." , it could only be referring to permitting divorce on the wedding night. This poll was just to demonstrate that people can and do understand "when" with a much broader definition.
If we are going to take "when" so literally that it means one specific instance, then the wedding night is too late...the "when" they were married would be the wedding ceremony, which in this society generally ends with "I now pronounce you husband and wife" (or similar). The wedding night is after this.
If I speak of the period of time I was married, I generally say "When I was married." Where "when" spans a duration of time.
"When" can also mean more than one non-contiguous span of time as in "When we go on vacation, ... "
Therefore, "when" can refer to a specific instance of something-- "when we arrive, " --it can refer to a span of time, or multiple time periods or instances of the same thing--"when the fruit is on the vine".
In response to the OP's original question...
Apparently my xh took the "when" in our vows to mean only the wedding night, but I certainly didn't and don't.
I agree.
One of the easiest ways to avoid defining a word too narrowly is to look at the same passage in several versions. While most of the time they all say the same things, they often use different words to express the same thoughts. Often any confusion that may arise from reading the passage in one version will quickly be cleared up when reading the same thing in another version. Additionally it is always best to look for the most naturally understood meaning of a word given the context in which it is used.
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/3/2008 1:05:48 PM
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GroupW
Posts: 2913
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You make way, way too much sense. Cut it out. ;)
BT
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/3/2008 2:15:24 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
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Off topic:
They really should have a "Your PM box is full smiley!" Donchathink?
Carry on......
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RE: What does "When a man is married, he must not ... - 7/3/2008 10:13:46 PM
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SealedEternal
Posts: 1173
Joined: 3/20/2006
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The definition of "when" always indicates the time frame of something. The context of the verse in discussion is "WHEN the man took his wife and married her". That means that it is indicating the time that he took her and married her by the definition of the term "when" in every dictionary. "When" by definition always indicates a specific point in time when it is used in conjunction with a description of a specific point in time, and in other cases refers to a specific period of time when used in conjunction with a description of a period of time. You cannot however take a verse of scripture which uses the term "when" in conjunction with a description of a specific point in time (When a man takes a wife and marries her) and claim that it is supposed to be "interpreted" to mean a long period of time.
SealedEternal
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We just shouldn't ever entertain the thought of dating someone else for as long as we are married.
