Funny Quotations (Full Version)

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mvic -> Funny Quotations (6/30/2008 8:41:23 PM)

Please post funny quotations here. Either your own, or from someone famous e.g.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it. Groucho Marx.



raspberry331 -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/3/2008 12:36:28 PM)

“A long life may be good enough,
but a good life is never long enough.”
Benjamin Franklin



ohmandy80 -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/9/2008 1:18:05 AM)

John 3:16
Paul 3:16
George 3:16
Ringo 3:16

"Action is how men express romance on film." -Kurt Wimmer

"Ignore these four words." -George Carlin

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." -Albert Einstein



ohmandy80 -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/9/2008 1:23:09 AM)

Age is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

"I type 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language." -Mitch Hedburg

"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." -W. Somerset Maugham



ohmandy80 -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/9/2008 1:52:48 AM)

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it." -George Carlin



crazedmom -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/18/2008 10:08:26 AM)

"Better to remain silent and appear dumb than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". (Mark Twain)



sosing2me -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/18/2008 1:14:32 PM)

"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it." (Steven Wright)



FROGkissin -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/20/2008 12:12:28 AM)

If you swallow a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you the rest of the day! -- source unknown



beachcooky -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/20/2008 3:27:59 AM)

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
-Paula Poundstone



armydude -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/20/2008 8:08:44 AM)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met."
Or...
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
Or...
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

All from Abraham Lincoln



armydude -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/20/2008 8:11:44 AM)

Here's another one I was looking for several weeks ago. I stumbled on it today.
"How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."
Ronald Reagan[:D]



Cloak -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/20/2008 9:28:05 PM)

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. [;)]



still4gvn -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/23/2008 1:14:27 PM)

"If God is here with us, why isn't His car parked out front?" - my grandson when he was younger.



ebony101 -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/23/2008 9:42:09 PM)

"Life is what happens when you've planned something else." (unknown)



cinwood -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/24/2008 9:30:51 AM)

A friend's 3 year old son, seeing a picture of her when she was pregnant with him, asked about her big belly. She said, "You were in my tummy." His response: "Why did you eat me?"



mvic -> RE: Funny Quotations (7/30/2008 12:56:39 PM)

The punishment for bigamy is two mother-in-laws.



bettymackII -> RE: Funny Quotations (8/12/2008 10:00:15 PM)

If fact don't fit the theory change the facts-----Albert Einstein



Cloak -> RE: Funny Quotations (8/12/2008 11:38:20 PM)

A stitch in time saves nine.



mvic -> RE: Funny Quotations (8/13/2008 4:40:51 AM)

A stitch in time saves nine.

Yeh ... say that to the person who did the stitches after an operation and left the thimble inside the body !!! ?



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