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RE: The easily offended - 7/3/2008 8:00:02 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 25986
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Currently . . . San Francisco
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{{{Abiyah}}}
I can very much relate to that.
But what I'm finding is that it's impossible to have the kind of regular contact that a poster such as yourself has and fake all of it.
Personal example . . . the first year after CS took his life . . .
I would write things (sometimes in my blog, sometimes in threads) . . . and people would respond to the point where it overwhelmed me.
One of the common things people commented on was my strength. To me, that was so laughable because I KNOW how so completely weak I really am. It felt like I was being a fraud. I had a very vivid visual of the scene from the Wizard of Oz . . . Dorothy, et al, was standing before the all-powerful and all-looming Oz. His voice was reverberating all over the place and his image being portrayed was literally larger-than-life. Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Scarecrow and the Lion were quaking and trembling. Then, Toto ran behind the green curtain, and there was the real Oz . . . a dimunitive man frantically flipping switches and turning dials and such . . . to keep up the illusion of who he wanted to portray himself as.
I walked around for months "writing" a blog post about it. I never put pen to paper about it though.
But nonethess, I felt like somehow I was being dishonest . . . I mean, if so many people were commenting on "my" strength, and I knew behond a shadow of a doubt that I certainly didn't have any strength, then I must have been lying. Right?
Not exactly.
That strength that people saw was Jesus' Strength.
And so it is with you. You have some very remarkable qualities, Abiyah. Perhaps if you look at those traits (that we see) as not being yours but as coming from Our Lord and that it's HIM that's working through you and what we see . . . perhaps that might help you accept what people notice about you.
I run and hide also. People compliment me and sometimes it truly baffles me. Not because I'm on a self-deprecating kick.
But because I know that anything good about me comes from Our Lord . . . and, too, sometimes I'm simply amazed when people tell me what they see in me.
What I'm learning is that while it's very good to be aware of our faults so that we can give those to Our Lord and have him mold us to who and what He wants us to be . . . it's equally as important that we can, indeed recognize the good qualities about ourselves; not from a arrogant, boastful perspective, but from a humble, grateful standpoint because we know that it is Our Lord working through us.
Blessings,
Sharon-Marie
_____________________________
Hey there! This is Sharon-Marie, and you have reached my signature. I may not be here for a while; but if you'd like, please leave a message over in that ramblin’ thread.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/3/2008 8:52:18 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7729
Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
Once in a while the best post...is the one you never write.
That's why I copy and paste.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/3/2008 9:10:55 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 9937
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga
You guys are too cute! I love it! Hee-hee!
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But this subject has brought up another issue. In fact, two more.
#1 I don't tell people often enough how much I think of them. I fear being misconstrued, so I usually stay silent, until threads like this come up that easily open an opportunity. So I got to tell phosadaud what I really think of her. But there are a whole lot more of you (yes, including you, SonInMe1 -- "There are a few of ya....that do not like me") that I also enjoy, but I never say it.
Qtman is another example. I absolutely loved him the first time I saw him here and when he put his wife's picture here, I loved her immediately. I don't really know why, but I haven't had the guts to say it. I am too slow to say/write the positives and too quick to say/write the negatives.
So, anyway . . .
#2 I also have a real hard time taking compliments. I know I'm not all that, and it scares me that you will find out that I'm not all that. So when someone is sweet, like when WhiteRoseBlessing wrote that nice statement, I ran and hid. I know who I am, and what people write here is what I want to be but know I am not.
Can I hear an amein?
I have never received a higher compliment than that. Thank you very much.
And No you cannot have a amen to the #2 para. You just simply cannot see what we see. You are looking from the inside out. We are looking from the outside in.
_____________________________
MERRY CHRISTMAS! For those that do not partake Happy December 25th
Body Piercings
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RE: The easily offended - 7/3/2008 10:41:15 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10624
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline
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Wow! I can't post all day and I must say what a blessing it has been to read everyone's posts. Awesome stuff!
I had to share something that happened at lunch today. I'm having lunch at Applebees with a couple friends and our waiter looks sooooo familiar. By the end of our meal, I know it just has to be someone I went to high school with, so when he comes back I ask him, "Hey! You look so familiar. I think we went to high school together. Did you go to **** High?". He looks at me funny and seems almost embarrassed. One of my friend's pipes up, "She actually says what she means, so she really does think she knows you from high school!" I'm still clueless about the funny looks until after he leaves and my friend explains that she could tell from the look on his face that he thought I was giving him a "line" and trying to pick him up.  She knew that I'm a tell like it is person though so she knew I had no clue what I had just done...
She was right...
It made me think of this thread and how easy it is to completely misunderstand each other - to say one thing only to have something totally different be heard. On the other hand, even when we think we are completely clear and concise, we live in a society that isn't "tell it like you see it", so people tend to not really believe each other. It's almost like our culture maybe fosters that "offense-taking" reaction...
When we compliment someone, do they really mean it or are they just trying to "be nice"?
When we ask a question, do we really want to know, or are we be snarky?
Sometimes it makes me think of the verse in the Gospels about "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no". I know we think of that in terms of doing what you say you are going to do, but sometimes I wonder if it means more than that: Don't play games! Be honest! Don't give people the opportunity to wonder if what you said is really true!
PS - I don't give out compliments enough either, but rest assured - if I ever compliment you, I really mean it! 
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
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RE: The easily offended - 7/3/2008 10:52:09 PM
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Kerrlaw
Posts: 9094
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline
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Phosy, your story reminded me of a story that I read recently - I think that it was in one of the Crosswalk newsletters.
The lady moved back to her home town and went to a local dentist. The dentist had the same name as a tall, handsome young man that she had attended high school with.
When the dentist came in, she thought to herself: "This bald old man can't be the guy that I went to school with".
However, she took the plunge and said: "I think that you may have been in my class in high school."
His reply: "What class did you teach?"
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That which does not kill us makes us fatter. ~ crankius
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 12:35:42 AM
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armydude
Posts: 16900
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: online
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If I may be serious for a tiny bit, I've noticed that some people are just going to be offended regardless of what you say or do. That's their choice. My pastor said it best. You cannot be offended with anyone until you take offense. If you don't accept it, you're not offended. And the devil failed.
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No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 12:43:02 AM
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zmanfan38
Posts: 8520
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: ...for it's root, root, root for the CUBBIES!!!
Status: offline
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^ Ooooh, I like that!
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«Christi»
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 8:23:12 AM
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SonInMe1
Posts: 3396
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: my mom by God
Status: online
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I started a thread a while ago about how amazed I was that two people have something I said in their signatures. That it still amazes me when anyone responds to my posts, positively or negatively.
A compliment? If I do respond to someone complimenting me I give all glory to God. That's not false modesty. That...is just fact.
Mostly I post to BE contrary. Not to offend, but to offer a possible new perspective. If my experiences in life apply, I share and if its embarrassing or puts me in a poor light, then so be it. I'd rather try to give someone some perspective on their problems by telling them something I went through than to be percieved as someone...I am not.
By the way...I hate the word....I. Its way overused today.
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 8:33:39 AM
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armydude
Posts: 16900
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
By the way...I hate the word....I. Its way overused today.
Exactly! Modesty is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
_____________________________
No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 8:55:18 AM
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Qtman
Posts: 9937
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: armydude
quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
By the way...I hate the word....I. Its way overused today.
Exactly! Modesty is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Dude that would make a wonderful siggy.
_____________________________
MERRY CHRISTMAS! For those that do not partake Happy December 25th
Body Piercings
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 11:16:47 AM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10624
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: armydude
Modesty is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
I was thinking how folks who are easily offended are are usually folks who tend to think in terms of "me, myself & I". Then I got to thinking about when I have walked on eggshells and it's usually about me, myself & I as well. When I try to speak and behave in love and kindness, I am thinking of others. When I am walking on eggshells because of someone who gets upset no matter what I say or do, I am thinking of me: I'm not walking on eggshells to avoid hurting them - they'll be hurt no matter what and there really is nothing I can do about it. Honestly, I'm walking on eggshells to avoid having to deal with a blowup. It's becomes about "me".
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 2:03:42 PM
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Abbreviated
Posts: 2106
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Kansas
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Qtman
quote:
ORIGINAL: armydude
quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
By the way...I hate the word....I. Its way overused today.
Exactly! Modesty is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
Dude that would make a wonderful siggy.
Why do I think of modesty in the terms of clothing ?
_____________________________
Buried In Legos...
Bologna Donuts
Jackie
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RE: The easily offended - 7/4/2008 3:39:31 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1892
Status: offline
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quote:
Why do I think of modesty in the terms of clothing ?
Because that is the general usage of the word. Probably humility would be a better choice because it is the attitude of Christ (see Phil 2). And then I don't think our minds would wander to scanty attire. 
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RE: The easily offended - 7/5/2008 12:03:52 AM
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Kath
Posts: 17125
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: online
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modest has quite a few definitions:
adjective: marked by simplicity; having a humble opinion of yourself
adjective: humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness
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I had to find him and apologize. 
