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LawrenceJCaldwell -> RE: physical contact (7/10/2008 12:42:39 PM)
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Here's a segment from my in-progress book, My Little Children.
"But first let’s fast forward to the summer of 1986. I was halfway through graduate school. Bill Gothard was in town at the Philadelphia Civic Center for one of his weeklong Basic Seminars. A group of us from church piled into a car each night and drove over the bridge to learn wisdom from God’s Word through this gifted teacher. One night, with us younger guys and girls packed into the backseat, a discussion started about dating. The girls wanted to know what I thought. My reply cost me a great deal of kidding.
“God says in I Corinthians 7:1b – ‘It is good for a man not to touch a woman,’” I replied. Instantly the girl to my left started poking me in the ribs and mocking me saying, “Touch. Touch. Touch.” I couldn’t move but with each poke I glared at her seriously. She poked some more. The adults up front said nothing.
Why is this verse so important and what does God expect you to do with it? First, recognize the absoluteness of what God says. Simply put boys, don’t touch girls. And girls, don’t touch boys. Don’t. Not at all. Not with your hands and not with your body and not with your eyes nor your imaginations. You think this is not fair. You think this is too strict. Listen to what God says.
Proverbs 27:20 - Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.
Guys, no matter how much you look and no matter how much you look away, your eyes will never be satisfied when it comes to girls. Never. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. Still don’t believe me? Take God’s Word for it.
Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
I’m landing this salvo right on your plate up front because you need to know it and not forget it as you continue reading this book and for the rest of your life. No matter how long you are a Christian, this verse always applies. The world will tell you things like:
Trust yourself. The answer is inside you. Look to yourself. You can only depend on yourself. Follow your heart.
This is fleshly, wicked advice. It comes from Satan. If you follow it, you will quickly find out how true the first part of Proverbs 27:20 is, “Hell and destruction are never full.”
So here’s how it all works fellas. You see a girl you like. You start to think about her. A lot. Your imagination may run wild if you’re not under Holy Spirit control. Those thoughts from your deceitful heart are edging closer and closer to physical reality. Your first touch will certainly seem innocent enough. That’s what you’ll tell yourself. And who really knows what she thinks of it. You won’t care. You scored a point. You feel good. Pretty soon you’re holding hands.
OK Mr. Caldwell! Time out. What’s the big deal about holding hands? And why the big fuss about some girl poking you in the back seat? Get real buddy!
The big deal is what I have already told you. Think about it. Where will the touching stop? Think you can control yourself? Think God will stop you? The more you think about it, the deeper in trouble you will get. Listen to this.
Ephesians 6:12 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
The war is not in your heart, not in your mind. That’s what Satan wants you to believe however. But your heart is deceitful all the time. It will always tell you the exact opposite of what God wants. But it just won’t sound that way.
Holding hands is cool. Everybody else is doing it. My buddy and his girlfriend hold hands and nothing bad is happening to them. Some of the other couples kiss but I stay away from them. I can handle it. I can control myself. My friends will make fun of me if I don’t. She won’t go out with me if I don’t.
God says that outside of marriage, the physical relationship between a boy and a girl is completely off limits. Perhaps you’ve heard other teachers and friends and perhaps your parents say that what God is really saying is, “No sex outside marriage.” That is not what God says.
Here’s the rest from I Corinthians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
The context is marriage. The subject is touching. The consequences are burning. What does all this mean?
Marriage is simple enough to understand. It is a God-ordained relationship between a man and a woman. The purpose of this chapter is not to tell you how to get to that relationship the right way. It’s to warn you of the wrong ways. But just know this guys and girls. When God has the right mate for you, you will know it without a doubt if you are walking in right relationship to God. He will order your steps to a wonderful marriage. Examine Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Further, in Matthew 19:6, Jesus says, “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Marriage is a work of God. Not of dating, looking, touching, wondering, hoping, or most anything else you see the world doing. You need to think about this reality.
Back to touching. Notice how God lead right from touching to fornication. When Paul wrote these words, he did not intend for “touch” and “fornication” to mean the same thing. That word “touch” used everywhere else in the Bible means exactly that – touch. As in with the very tip of your finger, a gentle brush in the hallway between classes, even a heartfelt hug of well-meaning consolation. The mind has a way of latching onto that physical connection and it wants more. It is never satisfied. Not the hands, not the eyes.
God says through Job in Job 31:1, “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?”
Bottom line – no touching."
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