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Beth67 -> RE: Need advice on husband and porn (7/5/2008 12:50:04 AM)
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Porn ... probably the Internet's greatest temptation. And Satan's favourite playground.
My husband struggles in this area. Time and time again, he falls prey to it. I can pretty much tell from his mood when he's been into it again. It's his greatest 'thorn'.
I am totally against it. I feel that Matthew 5:28 comes into play here (But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.) However, my husband will say that he's not actually lusting...it's a fantasy world...he would never physically commit adultery, therefore, he is not lusting after another woman. Hmmmm.
My husband feels that his being able to discuss this issue with me brings us closer together. He admits that it's a problem for him and try as he might, he always goes back to it. He says it's hard, because wherever he goes, there are beautiful women around. He can't escape it.
I certainly don't like it. Let's face it, making love to your husband knowing that he has these images floating around in his head does not bring you closer together. Every woman wants to be her husband's one and only...to feel cherished and loved.
Having said that, I do want to point out that my husband and I have a wonderful sex life. I definitely do not feel deprived in that area. [;)]
However, I fear that if I put my foot down and say I won't stand for it, then I risk my husband clamming up and not being able to share with me his deepest feelings and struggles, which would also not bring us closer together.
So, what to do?
To be honest, I've numbed myself to it. I try not to let my feelings of inadequacy get in the way, realizing that he does love me, and that this is between him and God. Prayer is what comes to mind, but even then, I find it difficult to pray...feelings of guilt come into play...should I be doing more?
I also find the Old Testament difficult to comprehend....with all of the concubines. God allowed it. Why? So many significant men in the Old Testament had wives (plural) and concubines. Today, men like this idea (obviously) and women don't (obviously). My husband says it's natural.
As Solomon would say, "and there is no new thing under the sun".
I'm tired of the mental struggle it places me under.
So, no real advice here...sorry. Just more frustration.
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