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hellochurch -> RE: Ministry and dating (7/18/2008 8:37:54 AM)
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to JGMC24: You spoke of a bible promise - God will add to you everything when you obey Him, however there is opposition that comes at us as well, that makes it look like this is not happening- and cand discourage us, when someone does come along you must spend time in getting to know them to know if they are right for you or not, hence you must 'date.'
----- to add dating to someone who is preparing their life to work for the Lord, ie. at their school of training, is wrong I think,- it puts too much pressure on the one preparing to serve the Lord, - ministry has enough pressures and I think adding the whole life mate process to that is way too much at that time, especially if the person is young. The Jews instructed their youth when they arranged their marriages, they were prepared for marriage by their families from when they were toddlers. We have little to no prep. in our families I think, comparitively, and then to add the issue of discovering who would be appropriate and if they really would, to a person at the time they need to be focussing elsewhere, ie on their call from God, is just all wrong.
-----another thing, in our n.american culture, u.s. and canada, youth are influenced heavily by media -music and film, and get all the wrong messages, even though they are 'churched' about mate- ing. The females go on their emotions, and 'fall in love'- the males are responding probably to whoever turns their hormonally factory up the highest, visually, and therefore youth is a very bad time for single youth to be depending on themselves to pick a partner. ie. this is when a good looking guy in a nice suit driving a nice car can be the worst thing for a young christian woman, and vice versa, even though raised in church, a young man is influenced by media and by what he sees and the most appealing visually- young woman, who turns his 'crank' so to speak, can be the spelling of the biggest disaster coming, and because they do not have the maturity to look far past this outer surface, even if they might have been educated on this, can they really trust their own judgement in this kind of matter,? ie for a young man in his early twenties, his hormonal push is at its highest, can he trust himself not to allow this to influence too much his decisions, - I dont think he can.
Not that there is anything wrong with good looking people, I am just saying that church youth, whether leaders or not, are influenced wrongfully byt hte culture we live in, and are also being swayed by their newly found, (just a couple years prior) hormonal urges, which may not even be under control yet, and then add to that the way young woman in our society dress, etc. and it is a very difficult thing I think for a young man to even see straight when around some women, let alone be making very important choices. Then add to that the possibility that if they become friends and get closer, they may cross physical boundaries in a dating relationship, and all of this going on while someone is supposed to be preparing themselves for the Lord, ? No NO NO a thousand times no and the wrong timing entirely. Christian seminaries should have the rule that people cannot date, and even perhpas separate the sexes in the colleges so they can never even meet each other there while someone is devoting themselves to the Lord.
This I think would only be kindness to esp. youth preparing to serve the Lord. Families should be involved and arranged, or partly arranged marriages are helpful, if the family has insight, which many might not. I don;t think it is wise for a youth to choose andpick on their own, someone for their life, for youth are too vulnerable at that time in their life, too vulnerable probably to the wrong influences. Thatis why the high divorce rate, plus, they are probably only connecting with God at a rules religion level, unless they have some wonderful modelling in their lives from someone who truly knows and experiences how loving God is, if someone comes to know the depths of the LOVE of God they will automatically begin to live their own lives out of this place, and they only way truly to know that is if they have supernatural experiences with God that are loving, or from the Word itself, and it is hard to pull that out of the Word without truly Spirit inspired revelation preaching and teaching, which is not available most places, and where it is available it is brought into questio and heavily criticized, so this adds up to a difficult sum for christian church youth.
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