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Starbucks880 -> What to do when he gets baby fever...... (7/16/2008 9:34:31 PM)
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My husband and I have been married almost 5 years. Before we married, we both agreed that children were not something we wanted, though if a surprise pregnancy happened, we wouldn't throw that baby away. Now, it seems he is changing his mind--maybe it is now he is the only sibling of his that hasn't had any children, I have no idea, but now he is bringing up the idea of having at least one. He did say that I am the one with the uterus, so he'd respect what I thought, but what irks me is that knowing how I feel, he is starting to also pressure me. He even got his mother to talk to me (he denies this, but I know it was him, since I nipped that one in the bud when we first got married and she backed off, only to now, coincidently bring it up again). My biological clock is not ticking, while I do like an infant or the adorable precocious child, the best part for me is when I can hand them back to the parents, I do not get sentimental at baby showers, my career is very important to me, and the more important thing--I think it would be disastrous for me to get pregnant when I am so ambivalent about motherhood, because I know the child would sense that--while my mother and I got close during the last years of her life, she did not want me when I was born. Birth control was illegal(this was how it was in Romania during Ceausescu), so she and my dad were trying their best to use other ways to avoid pregnancy, but I came anyway. Even though she didn't go out and get an illegal abortion and chose to give birth to me, she still didn't burst out with love at me. So I do know what it is like to not be a wanted child, and i would never want to put that on a child of mine. My husband is well-aware of this, yet he still has gone against what he said when we got married and now wants children. Any advice on how to handle this?
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