I feel like an outcast most of the time (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Faith] >> Prayer and Praise Reports



Message

beachcooky -> I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 12:50:11 AM)

I have plenty of friends, but I always feel like a failure. I can be with a bunch of friends, and just feel like an outcast. I just feel so worthless. Lately, I've just been staying at my house. Not even going out with friends. I hate how I am. It's just, I don't know. I have so much anger from the past--and it comes out a lot, especially towards Christians. I don't know why. Maybe because not a lot of Christians reached out to me. I met a guy a long time ago and he was going to be a priest. We became best friends and he moved to Michigan. I blamed God, because I just don't feel like God doesn't even want me to feel happy again. There was a moment in time when I was happy with everything. I was content with me life, I went out with friends, I did everything.

But these past 2 years, I've just been lonely. I just feel like an outcast now. I get mad at God a lot because He's given me just athiest friends, agnostic friends, etc etc. I love them to death, but sometimes, I just long for a Christian friend. I'm close to tears as I'm typing this because I just feel like I'm never going to find a good Christian friend. One of my very close Christian friends turned her back on me because I was struggling. A lot of Christians have shown me just hate. I want someone, for real.

Jesus comes first in my life. But I often get very mad at him. Very mad. I just want to go to someone and pour out my hurts. But I can't. I don't even go to family because it seems they don't see my existence. I'm such an outcast.

I just feel depressed all the time, I'm not motivated to do ANYTHING. I haven't been calling friends to hang out with, because I just dont want to go anywhere. I guess that's partly my fault, since I'm not going out. But I just want to be left alone now. I'm starting to become a person that I dont want to be. I think I'm just getting so sick of fighting this fight.

I guess you could pray for me. But don't say you will when you won't. It says in Matthew that you shouldn't. But this is how I've been feeling since this summer. Just not motivated. I just want to be left alone most of the time. For the most part, I just hate myself. When I look in the mirror, I just see an ugly girl. When I go out, I feel all alone. When I'm with family, I feel hated by each family member.



rgod -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 1:33:06 AM)

beachcooky,

I will pray for you. I'm not a doctor or anything, but it sounds to me like you are depressed. Depression can often make you feel feel irritated, unhappy, like not reaching out to anyone, and like you don't belong - like you are an outcast. I know because I felt like that for a long long long time. Lonely, like I had no friends, ugly, like I didn't want to live - all of it. I had to prayerfully deal with the depression - and it sounds to me like you have some unresolved issues surrounding your ex and also with God. Unforgiveness - for me - usually triggers depression. But, today I am pretty happy most of the time. I really like my life, I have some friends (but not a lot because I'm starting over in a new place). It isn't perfect, but my life is so much better than it was. And what happened to me and countless other people can and will happen for you too.

Here's some truth. I don't know you, but wouldn't be surprised if you found out that you actually aren't alone. When I was depressed I couldn't see that people loved me and cared about me - I just couldn't feel it. Even if you are alone right now, that doesn't mean that you always will be. You are definitely not ugly. And you are not a failure. I would encourage you to go to a christian counseling organization and get an initial depression screening. Usually they are free. You can then either rule it out or not - and it might give you a starting point for what to do next. If you are in college, you might be able to get one from the counseling center on your campus.

Here is what I've prayed for you:

1. That you will be able to get to the roots of these feelings - I don't know what it is - but whatever it is - I pray that it will be pulled out by the roots.

2. That the Lord will really shower you with his love so that you can feel it completely - all the way from head to toe and that you will be comforted.

3. That the Lord will bless you with godly friends who can come alongside you during this time.

4. That the Lord will bless you with godly mentors.

5. That one by one in the coming week, people will let you know how much they actually do care about you.

6. And that you'll be able to find a way to forgive the Lord and move into the position of trusting him.

7. And that as you get free, you'll be able to recognize spiritual warfare and learn how to fight.

Father, you've heard all of these requests. I pray for my sister who is having such a difficult time. I ask you Lord to raise up intercessors to pray for her during this time. I pray that you give her clarity and truth. I pray that you'll bring a godly mentor or someone into her life that will help her to deal with the disappointments, hurt, and sadness. Father You are good and your word does not return void. You said that it is not good for man to be alone - and so we pray for friends. You said that you've given us a spirit of love, power, and of a sound mind - so I pray that for my sister. I pray for the renewing of the mind and that she would be comforted - you sent the Holy Spirit to be our comforter. And so I pray that you comfort her today. Pleaes bless her. In Jesus name. Amen



Caseyp57 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 1:36:24 AM)

((((Beachcooky))) First of all it sounds like you might be suffering from clinical depression so please talk with your doctor. Also give your pastor (or a youth minister) a call and get involved in a youth group/college and career group of some sort-- one where you feel you can be yourself. (You may have to try a few of them out.) I understand your wanting Christian friends to talk to....It is good that you want to have Christian friends. I'm sure that this is from the Lord and also pleasing to Him... Though I had some kind of superficial friendships with other Christians when I was about your age I went off to a Christian college and made some close friendships with folks I talk to even today (25 plus years later) on a fairly regular basis. In fact I found my husband there too. :) With others of course we've lost touch which is part of life. But you might consider doing something like this also-- pray about it first of course.

We all have struggles and get angry with God at times....and I was just telling my cousin tonight that everything happens for a reason. I"d been remembering a sermon where the pastor had said "God will waste nothing.." And I gave her this verse which you probably also know:

"All things work together for good to those who love God who are the called according to His purpose."

God bless you hon. And two other verses also come to mind: "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother." (Jesus!) andtrust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Lord Jesus please be with Beachcooky and help her not to feel so lonely. Help her to find the friends you want her to have. In the meantime dear Lord please help her to give her anger to you and find her help in you. Lead her in the way she should go and if she needs medical intervention of some sort Lord I pray she will get it. Help her not to feel like an outcast. Give her good relationships within her family also. Thank you Lord for what you are doing in her life and all that you will do; to You be the glory. In Jesus name amen.



barbi -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 8:40:07 AM)

praying for you and agreeing with the others



TorchHeart -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 10:48:04 AM)

Beachcooky... you're not the first person in the world to feel this way. You're definitely not the first person to be angry with God and/or Jesus over how things have turned in your life.... or to be angry with Christians (or other people) for how they've treated you.... or to feel alone and like an outcast. And, unfortunately, you definitely won't be the last.

I firmly believe that God understands when we get angry with Him, because (unlike Him) we can't always see what He's doing in our life or why. But He does understand, and He does love you. Even if some of His people don't always seem to show that love, He's there for you and He understands your hurts.

I've felt a lot of what you're feeling in the past, and I'm sure others on here have too.

I am with rgod and caseyp. You might want to get checked out for depression. This doesn't mean that you're going to have to go on meds or anything, but it might give you an opportunity to pour out some of your feelings to a counciler who will listen to you and be objective and helpful.

Also, if you'd like to have Christian friends, joining a youth group at a church or on a college campus as Caseyp suggested would be an excellent idea. Being around people with similar ideas and beliefs as your's will probably help you a lot.

Lord God, please be with Beachcooky in her time of need. Please help ease her mind so that she doesn't feel so alone. Give her friends that share her Christian spirit and can help her to grow and love as a person. Allow her to see that she is not ugly, nor alone, nor any of the other negative things that the Devil wants her to believe. Please keep the evil thoughts out of her mind, and show her that you DO want her to be happy, as you do all of your children.

Lord, none of us are worthy of the gifts you betstow upon us, but yet you always seem to shower them down upon us, even in the worst of times. I meakly ask that you shower those gifts down, now, upon Beachcooky and grant her an end to her negative feelings. I ask this through your Son, the one true risen Lord, Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Amen.



Melbourne2008 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 10:50:05 AM)

I really feel for you beachcooky. I'm over 40 but have had the same problem - finding good Christian friends who actually want to love and support me. I've gone through a lot of down times and people who I thought were friends in the past just turned their backs on me and one good friend I had passed away and now my current Christian friend is very shallow and doesn't care much about how I'm feeling when I'm down. She only wants to mix with me when I'm happy. I don't have non Christian friends as I can't take how worldly they are so I like you long for deeper friendships too. I'll pray for you little sis. I agree with the others that you seem depressed and I'd talk to a decent doctor about it. Just hang in there and keep praying for them and I'll pray for you too. God bless ya!



kyl -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 12:25:08 PM)

WHEN YOUR AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE TIE A KNOT AND HANG ON!!!!!!!
beachcookie
Having suffered from depression myself I have a pretty good idea of what you are going through.
Better than that the Lord knows what you are going through and is there with you.
You are not alone and will never be.You have a Friend in the Lord that loves you so much he went to the cross and died for you.
He loves you so much he is going to give you the strength you need to get through this.
So now is the time to focus on the Lord,trust him and listen to him.

Lord I lift beach up to you.
I pray Lord she will see you as her Savior,Friend and Help in her time of need and forever.
I pray she will accept the love you have for her.
Lord help her to move forward with her life.
Help her to be motivated to find and seek friends and people who know you and love you.
Lord you know her heart and mind and every need she has.
I pray Lord you will help her and provide a way for her to be the woman you want her to be.
Heal her pain,her scars,her heart and mind.
I pray Lord that she will grow,learn and progress in her relationship with you.
I pray Lord that she will focus more on youand your word each day.
May your will be done in her life Lord
In Jesus name
Amen



love4theLord -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 1:09:39 PM)

Beachcooky, please talk to a pastor or counselor. It is very unhealthy to stay like this, please get help for yourself! satan is attacking you and you can not let him win, get to the root of all of this so that you may heal from your past and move on. I would love to see you receive the help you need and deserve so that you can have some peace and happiness in your life...


praying for you!!

kc



peaceofGod -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 3:56:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyl
Lord I lift beach up to you.
I pray Lord she will see you as her Savior,Friend and Help in her time of need and forever.
I pray she will accept the love you have for her.
Lord help her to move forward with her life.
Help her to be motivated to find and seek friends and people who know you and love you.
Lord you know her heart and mind and every need she has.
I pray Lord you will help her and provide a way for her to be the woman you want her to be.
Heal her pain,her scars,her heart and mind.
I pray Lord that she will grow,learn and progress in her relationship with you.
I pray Lord that she will focus more on youand your word each day.
May your will be done in her life Lord
In Jesus name
Amen

Amen. This is my prayer, too.



love4theLord -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 9:35:36 PM)

I am still praying for you tonight...

kc



jennycnails -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 9:50:02 PM)

Hi sweetie, I need to tell you that I suffer from depression and have to take antidepressants. If I don't, I'm exactly like you. Your not thinking straight. Its a chemical thing going on and if you dont tell a DR what you have said here, things might not change. I work full time and have a great closeness with the Lord but I dont have many friends. I couldnt do anything without medicine. Its a tiny does and makes a huge difference.



beachcooky -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/18/2008 11:10:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Itlyn1kc

I am still praying for you tonight...

kc


Aw thanks. And I have no doubt you aren't. You've always answered my prayer requests. You are probably the only person who is!! Thank you SOOO much. It's been really bad this summer.



love4theLord -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 10:38:17 AM)

Hey friend, I woke up this morning and wanted you to know you were on my heart and on my mind this morning! Please please be sure to talk to someone because Jenycnails is right, if you have a chemical imbalance it will definitely help to have this diagnosed and get on some meds. It can change your entire life, once the meds kick in and balance out things, you will have some peace and calmness in your life...I just want to see you happy, you are definitely not a failure!! You have us here and God as well, he loves you so much because he created you, he loves you!
You are not a failure at all!! You seem like such a sweet person....Please do me that favor and call a dr and see about this ok my friend....

I am praying for you today!!

kc



manda59 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 10:46:36 AM)

beachcooky

I am praying for you - but would also want to recommend that you seek some counselling from a qualified and trained professional. You've had some horrible things happen to you in the past, which could be behind the issues that you're talking about here, and also about the suppressed anger that you've mentioned in other posts, and it might help to have someone proper to talk to so that you can work things through.



beachcooky -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 11:40:56 AM)

I'm seeing a Christian doctor and I am on antidepressants. But I'm still feeling ****py. Yesterday was the first time I went out with friends in SUCH a long time. It didn't make me anymore happier, but hey.



manda59 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 12:38:18 PM)

Seeing a doctor is good, but is not the same as having counselling. Also, for how long have you been on antidepressants?



Little_1 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:12:11 PM)

BC I know I have prayed for you recently and am concerned that you are back posting on the same subject.

Obviously you have an urgent /need of healing from the heavy burden of pain in your past before you can move on and you seem to be going around in circles with it.

I am not meaning to be blunt but rather honest (without pussy-footing around) but unless you realise this hurt and unforgiveness is eating away at you and stealing everything good in your life - you are more than likely not going to get well again until the desire to forgive those who caused your past hurts, pain and anger outweighs the desire to hang on to this terrible hurt and anger.

The Psalmist David held onto sin and anger and his health was effected as a result (his countenance was gloomy and he was depressed and even his bones ached). When he confessed his past and desired the more peaceful way, the Lord forgave him and healed him of his hurts and set David right back on the right path again.

You have got to want to let go.



beachcooky -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:13:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Little_1

BC I know I have prayed for you recently and am concerned that you are back posting on the same subject.

Obviously you have an urgent /need of healing from the heavy burden of pain in your past before you can move on and you seem to be going around in circles with it.

I am not meaning to be blunt but rather honest (without pussy-footing around) but unless you realise this hurt and unforgiveness is eating away at you and stealing everything good in your life - you are more than likely not going to get well again until the desire to forgive those who caused your past hurts, pain and anger outweighs the desire to hang on to this terrible hurt and anger.

The Psalmist David held onto sin and anger and his health was effected as a result. When he confessed his past and desired the more peaceful way, the Lord forgave him and healed him of his hurts and set David right back on the right path again.

You have got to want to let go.


Sorry I offended ya. I won't post again about this. :)



Little_1 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:15:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

quote:

ORIGINAL: Little_1

BC I know I have prayed for you recently and am concerned that you are back posting on the same subject.

Obviously you have an urgent /need of healing from the heavy burden of pain in your past before you can move on and you seem to be going around in circles with it.

I am not meaning to be blunt but rather honest (without pussy-footing around) but unless you realise this hurt and unforgiveness is eating away at you and stealing everything good in your life - you are more than likely not going to get well again until the desire to forgive those who caused your past hurts, pain and anger outweighs the desire to hang on to this terrible hurt and anger.

The Psalmist David held onto sin and anger and his health was effected as a result. When he confessed his past and desired the more peaceful way, the Lord forgave him and healed him of his hurts and set David right back on the right path again.

You have got to want to let go.


Sorry I offended ya. I won't post again about this. :)


You have not offended me - I am concerned about you and have offered you help and I believe you know what I'm saying makes sense. I held on to hurts from my past for a very long time and they were eating away at my inner person. It is not a nice feeling. I don't know what it is like to experience exactly what you have experienced but I do know what it is like to let unforgiveness eat away at me and wreck my life. Unforgiveness does you more harm than it does to the person you are finding it hard to forgive. BC - it's not a case of being able to forgive - it's more truly wanting to forgive. When we reach that stage, the Lord takes over and gives us the supernatural strength to forgive. I really hope this helps you.



petaluma -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:16:43 PM)

I will be praying for you. I get very sad all the time too. I worry about
a lot of things. So I totally understand. Your in my thoughts and prayers
God bless you.



beachcooky -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:21:26 PM)

And forgiveness takes time, and I know you know this.



manda59 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:21:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky
Sorry I offended ya. I won't post again about this. :)



beachcooky

Little_1 was just trying to show you the probable connection between your past and your present and clearly meant well.

Even the way you reacted to his/her post is likely connected to your past too. That's why it's so important to find someone qualified and safe who can help you.



beachcooky -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:23:27 PM)

Ok. Well thanks for your response.
I thought she was accusing me.



mvic -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:31:33 PM)

Beachcooky,

Has anyone ever told you that you are special?

Well. I'm telling you now. You are special and unique. God knows so and God loves you just as you are. Even if you get angry with Him. He can take your anger; after all, He took our anger on the Cross did He not?

God brought you to the situation you're in, and if you trust Him, He'll get you through it to better times.

Take the advice others gave you:

Check your health with a doctor.

Join a Church or Bible Study Group or other Christian association where you can meet with other Christians.

If you have some un-resolved forgiveness issues; God knows about them. He knows it is sometimes very difficult to forgive or even forget the hurt done to us. Here's what you should do:

Pray to God. Say "God you know the hurt that has been caused to me. I now hand it over to You once and for all. Please ease the pain for me; and teach to me to forgive them as you forgave us".

If you trust Him, in time, the pain will ease.

God bless.



Little_1 -> RE: I feel like an outcast most of the time (7/19/2008 2:34:30 PM)

You may find 'Beauty for Ashes' by Joyce Meyer helpful. Joyce does know what you have experienced because she faced some of the same experiences as you have shared. You may be amazed just how similar her life was to yours presently.

I do care that you get better and I really do believe it can happen. Furthermore, I promise to pray for you during the next month.

Little_1



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI