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Zhi -> RE: Sexists at Work (7/18/2008 11:07:02 AM)
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Well, y'know, if you go through life with a huge chip on your shoulder, you're bound to find something I suppose. I find it ironic that she changed a sign she found sexist into a sign that was sexist toward her gender. hehehe. Publicity stunt, for sure.
Since a couple of you are asking about actual issues, sexism does still exist but actual incidents I've run into tend to be few and far between, when I'm being honest. But, if I were actively looking for it I'm sure I could find more excuses to be mad at the world all the time, because as a woman engineer, I work primarily with men, and sometimes people say stupid things.
One of the issues I've seen has to deal with college admission. I went to an all-engineer college, which had a 20% female population. In order to try to get more females into the college, they had lower admission standards for women. This had two unfortunate effects. First, some of the women they did let in weren't ready. It's a very very tough school, and the admissions office giving you a break most certainly did not mean that any of the professors were going to give you a break... so some of the women who got in simply were not ready for it. I am convinced that many of the women there (including some of my suitemates, who I did my best to help) would have benefitted greatly by being told by the school "you're not ready yet. You need to take the following classes from a less-difficult place, and then we will let you in."
The other issue is that the guys knew that admission standards were lower for women, so on group projects, they were convinced that the women assigned to them would be basically useless. It didn't matter if my personal scores would have given any of them a run for their money and that I didn't need the lower standards, I still had to work twice as hard to prove myself. I couldn't really blame the guys for that attitude because, well, they were kind of right, and I had several of them tell me after a group project that they were uncertain at first but now they had great respect for me and if I ever needed a group project partner again they would love to.
Work has been easier, as the guys appear to take the general attitude that you'll either prove yourself or you won't in the first few months, so wait and see. Most male engineers and techs I've worked with are very nice guys... they tend to be chivalrous as well, in opening doors and such for you, but I've always thought that was a nice thing to do and not sexist (I'll open a door for a guy if he's carrying something also, so *shrug*). Since I knew they respected me as an engineer anyway, I don't think there's a point in trying to make a federal case about door opening, or someone saying "you guys" since it included me anyway. They don't intend to be sexist, if you can do the job they don't care what gender (or even what species, probably) you are.
I *have* had a manager I had never seen before (older gentleman) on the elevator to work tell me how nice it is of me to bring my husband his forgotten lunch. I blinked and told him I worked there. He looked a little embarrassed when I was introduced as the lead UI coder at a project meeting half an hour later. I doubt he'll put his foot in his mouth like that again. hehe
The worst is probably "men" stores. Auto parts guys can be awful. I had one, who had merely gotten the previous guys in line their parts without questioning, start callling me "honey" and telling me he wanted to test the Nissan alternator I had brought in needing a replacement. I told him I tested it, but if he wanted to test it, knock yourself out. He made a big show of testing the thing (verrrrrry slowly), and showed great surprise when yes, it was broken. I finally got annoyed and told him that, given my EE degree, I could have built one from the component parts by now, so get me another Nissan alternator. At which point he brought me a Mazda alternator. *sigh* My husband probably would have had the right alternator and been out of there in 5 minutes.
Home Depot is the same way. My husband and I have realized that if we need help with something, he needs to pretend he's not with me for a few minutes while I stand in the proper aisle looking helpless and confused. Generally there's a clerk/helper there within 5 minutes asking if I need help (which they almost never do if my husband is standing there looking confused, or if both of us look confused. hehehe) When I'm obviously pregnant, it's more like 2 minutes. hee.
Incidentally, I've worked with women who do have a huge chip on their shoulder. I didn't want to be around them either. :P I think a small sanity check "did they MEAN to offend me?" is very helpful in most scenarios. I also think that insisting on special treatment just continues to propagate what sexism is out there. Most guys I've met, by nature, want to treat women in a respectful manner, and sadly, some of the ways they do so are starting to be considered "sexism" (opening doors, etc) when the intent is admirable. I am also truly baffled as to why gender-specific words (waitress, waiter, stewardess, etc) that are merely an observation of someone's actual gender are taboo, when used in a perfectly neutral manner. Until someone comes up with enough globally-accepted gender-inspecific pronouns to make the use of gender words entirely unnecessary, you're going to occassionally be addressed in a way that specifies your gender. The fact that people are capable of observing that I am, in fact, female, is something I find somewhat reassuring and not at all insulting. ;)
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