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RE: Chat Thread For July 21-July 27th - 7/25/2008 2:18:03 PM
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thisistheday
Posts: 9612
Joined: 4/11/2005
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That doesn't sound harsh at all to me Barb.
I have mixed feelings about the money issues after they get out of high school. I tend to want to make those decisions based on an individual basis, depending on the choices I see being made. But that may not appear to be "fair" to those involved when all is said and done. Of course it's not like I have tons of money laying around to work with either.
Dee
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RE: Chat Thread For July 21-July 27th - 7/25/2008 2:43:23 PM
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Bubbles5
Posts: 1019
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Wisconsin
Status: online
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Yeah, I don't have a money tree outside either..or any of it laying around the house.
When my kids turned 18 years old, and were still liveing at home, I expected them to have a job, and pay for their car..gas..insurance..and room and board. They even paid for their further education. Some of them thought that was unfair, but that's the way it was. Hey..I did their laundry..fed them and gave them shelter. I only charged $25 weekly.
When they wanted something special, like expensive shampoos ect.. they bought it themself.
Sort of was my way to get them used to how much everything costs. Hey..you want something different than Suave shampoo...go buy it.
_____________________________
Me and my granddaughter,Isabelle.
Working in my garden.
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RE: Chat Thread For July 21-July 27th - 7/25/2008 3:02:36 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5113
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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quote:
Hi Maggie
Hope you are doing well today? Did you have them guests over for dinner yet? Or is that tonight?
That was last night. It was a good evening except just before we left the dinner table they asked what they could pray for us about. I immediately said for the barriers to come down between us. It was something that I had just prayed that morning. I didn't expect them to ask what the barriers are and was unable to answer. Dh answered though, saying that one of the barriers is that he is a do-er and has trouble being a be-er. I followed up on that at their suggestion by telling how angry Tom was on Friday because he didn't think I was doing enough and was totally ignoring my exhaustion and meltdown. As I said in my own thread, sometimes it's easier to let deep pain go untouched (not necessarily a good thing to do but often easier). I started crying, cried through the whole prayer time and forcing all the pain that wanted to well up and sob uncontrollably to stay down and out of sight/hearing. The resultant stress gave me such a bad headache that I couldn't sleep last night. But I really like this couple. They're moving far away in less than a month but I'm hoping we can stay in touch.
quote:
I'm not happy about them moveing in together before they are married...but there is'ent much I can do about it
No, I don't like that either but there's really nothing we can do about it. As for who pays for any wedding that comes up, I'm thinking that having boys makes that an easier question. In any case, the boys know that we don't have a lot of money and I'm guessing they would not expect us to help pay. I'm thinking that it's a bridge we'll cross when we get to it. The youngest is the only one talking marriage right now. He bought a ring for his girlfriend and was planning on proposing to her in May but he asked her mother first for permission and Mom said she wants them to wait at least a year. I felt badly for them both but am pleased that ds4 took the risk of asking his future mil. That can only help foster good relations between them.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Chat Thread For July 21-July 27th - 7/25/2008 3:04:59 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5113
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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quote:
Hey..I did their laundry..fed them and gave them shelter. I only charged $25 weekly.
Wow! They got off lucky! I charge my kids $300/month if they're living at home and not going to school.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Chat Thread For July 21-July 27th - 7/25/2008 3:25:11 PM
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thisistheday
Posts: 9612
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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I'm sorry part of the evening was painful for you Maggie.
I make them buy their own stuff if they want the more expensive brands. Actually, my oldest just voluntarily buys a lot of her own things, which is fine.
Dee
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