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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 8/22/2008 9:09:15 AM
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Thorn10
Posts: 3
Joined: 8/21/2008
From: Western Ny
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Hi,I am new here and I would just like to say thank you all for posting here. This topic has definetly changed my perspective on things.My parents have also been trying to ell me this for a while so reading this really validated what they have been trying to tell me ever since I was 13-14.
I a 21 yr old guy and I have to admit that I definetly have a problem in the confidence area. I have never had an "official" girlfriend.The fear of rejection being my main problem.(Something I clearly need to work on.)
I also have to admit to asking a girl out 3 months after meeting her at church.Obviously she said"no" but she was extremely nice about it.She said that is was nice that I asked but she saw more as a friend.
To be honest I have not talked to her much since that conversation. It is not because I am angry with her or anything I just have been afraid of talking to her.
All I can say to the person that created this topic is that you are not the only one that feels like this.Untill I read this topic I felt the same way.
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 8/22/2008 5:40:18 PM
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coleenliz
Posts: 6
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline
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I hope that this female perspective can be of some help. Good Christian women do like "nice guys"... sometimes I think we can market ourselves as one thing "a good Christian woman" and maybe we haven't explored all the realities and dimensions of our characters. Perhaps we are doing or saying something that gives people a different impression. The same thing goes for men who are "good Christian men". Maybe, when we are more open and honest with ourselves and improving our character faults we will become the people that we want others to be drawn to. And sometimes, because we live in a fallen world, even the so seeming "best person" may turn out to be a facade. Only close interaction and experience with this person will reveal their true character.
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 8/22/2008 5:48:28 PM
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coleenliz
Posts: 6
Joined: 8/22/2008
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Just an additional comment to my previous response. From my personal experience my boyfriend seemed like the "great Christian guy" and I found out otherwise. When I started examining the reality of his character and not just what his point of view was or the facade he put on...I got to know the true person. He, ironically, was looking for the "good Christian girl", when he found her, me, he continued to "look"...emotional cheating...when I saw this behaviour, it greatly disappointed me. I'm just saying that guys need to be aware of some of the biggest deal breakers and turn-offs that most women will not put up with, and it's not bad breath. When you truly do meet someone that you are interested in, you need to hang up your "net" and focus on just her...you can't have another dish boiling on the back of the stove because someone is going to get burned. The fallout of this behaviour is also losing the one person that may have been "the one".
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 8/22/2008 10:11:07 PM
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usa777
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coleenliz
Just an additional comment to my previous response. From my personal experience my boyfriend seemed like the "great Christian guy" and I found out otherwise. When I started examining the reality of his character and not just what his point of view was or the facade he put on...I got to know the true person. He, ironically, was looking for the "good Christian girl", when he found her, me, he continued to "look"...emotional cheating...when I saw this behaviour, it greatly disappointed me. I'm just saying that guys need to be aware of some of the biggest deal breakers and turn-offs that most women will not put up with, and it's not bad breath. When you truly do meet someone that you are interested in, you need to hang up your "net" and focus on just her...you can't have another dish boiling on the back of the stove because someone is going to get burned. The fallout of this behaviour is also losing the one person that may have been "the one".
I agree 100%. It is a huge insult to a person to string her along hoping for someone better. Either you think she's good enough for you, or she's not. Men need to make up their minds and be man enough to tell a woman the truth.
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 8/22/2008 10:15:16 PM
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usa777
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Thorn10
Hi,I am new here and I would just like to say thank you all for posting here. This topic has definetly changed my perspective on things.My parents have also been trying to ell me this for a while so reading this really validated what they have been trying to tell me ever since I was 13-14.
I a 21 yr old guy and I have to admit that I definetly have a problem in the confidence area. I have never had an "official" girlfriend.The fear of rejection being my main problem.(Something I clearly need to work on.)
I also have to admit to asking a girl out 3 months after meeting her at church.Obviously she said"no" but she was extremely nice about it.She said that is was nice that I asked but she saw more as a friend.
To be honest I have not talked to her much since that conversation. It is not because I am angry with her or anything I just have been afraid of talking to her.
All I can say to the person that created this topic is that you are not the only one that feels like this.Untill I read this topic I felt the same way.
Thanks for posting, Thorn10. Be encouraged. We women are only people - we are nothing to be afraid of! Unfortunately, you'll go through the rejection, maybe numerous times. That's just the way it is when you are a Christian man doing the right thing - taking the initiative. Glad to hear that this woman was very nice about it. I've heard stories about women in the church being aloof and not very nice when turning down a date. There is no excuse for that! If anyone does that to you, she's not one you want anything to do with.
People are people, whether male or female. No reason to fear talking to her 
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 9/18/2008 11:10:06 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6378
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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Nice guys? Oh yeah. Passive guys... they need to step up to the plate more.
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RE: Why don't single wemen like nice guys - 9/20/2008 7:07:00 PM
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onthewayray
Posts: 41
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline
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Thanks for that input it helps knowing that I not just a stick in the mudd and there is still a little hope out there. I think I might just have to go out of my way and ask the lady at church out one more time. I ask her out once and she said she had something else to do that sunday but maybe later. Well I dont always see her and sometime I work arter church on sunday. So this sunday if I see her I will go and ask her out for lunch. 
After all I am a man I mess up from time to time
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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I personally like a guy who when I suggest a place to eat and he doesn't like it, he will just say that instead of, "It doesn't matter to me where we eat" I want to know his honest opnion and not just let him bend it to what I want. But, this is just my personal opnion anyway?! 
