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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 9:50:17 PM
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truthrevealed
Posts: 312
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Hmm, really can't tell the difference between this being a christian versus secular site. If others can...I'd be glad to hear the distinction!
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 9:55:37 PM
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keepitreal
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Yea, they lost me at the thread on the joys of urinating on each other. Not so sure how that fits in with a sanctified marital bed. Sounds very secular to me! (And I am far from a prude.)
I'm all for beautiful joyous passionate love.
But if a husband's love for his bride is to follow the example of how Christ loves the church, I can't figure out how degrading acts fit in.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 10:02:33 PM
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Kath
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The topic was broached so often in our forums that we actually have FAQ about it. Since the FAQ explains our viewpoint we should not continue with that topic in this thread. Thank you.
Sodomy Within Marriage Discussions
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 10:39:09 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
Uh, dreadpirate, we either have two very different definitions of "graphic" or you have not read some of the things that I did the short time I was there.
I have read every article on that website. I never found anything astonishing or offensive to my faith. I would assume your definition of graphic differs from mine.
quote:
Hmm, really can't tell the difference between this being a christian versus secular site. If others can...I'd be glad to hear the distinction!
A secular website doesn't care, and they promote whatever acts outside of marriage. A Christian website does, and they compare these acts to what scripture says about them. There's the difference.
I don't see how one can judge what goes on in someone else's bedroom. Like alcohol consumption, getting a tattoo, or whatever else, it's all about personal conviction. Anything that happens between a man and a wife is up to them and God. Nobody else.
I would use examples, but I don't feel like being nagged at by a mod or disrupting anyones personal beliefs.
quote:
ORIGINAL: keepitreal
Yea, they lost me at the thread on the joys of urinating on each other.
Um, they covered this. Noted it as forbidden, even. Whatever is said on the forums doesn't necessarily pertain to the actual website content. Some people could purposefully stir up trouble to confuse others. But again, this was covered on their website. It wasn't commended, either.
quote:
Sounds very secular to me!
I'm sure all subjects they covered sound "secular". Something God created for a husband and wife to enjoy is NOT secular. This website covers whats safe and whats not incredibly well.
quote:
I can't figure out how degrading acts fit in.
Everyone has a different definition of degrading, based on our own personal convictions. Certain acts are prohibited, but to say all things outside of sex are prohibited would be forcing your personal convictions on others.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 10:42:28 PM
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truthrevealed
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Since 'the marriage bed' site allows for various discussions about...."the marriage bed" I wonder if it's permissable here to discuss whether or not the attitude of "if it's agreeable to both spouses, then...." is allowed here. That seems to be an issue that many christians debate.
It also seems to be one of the reasons that those who find the site helpful do so, because certain discussions that are not normally discussed within the christian community are freely discussed.
Is it permissable(MODS) to discuss whether or not, the "marriage bed is undefiled" means that married couples are free to be.........free?!!
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 10:51:37 PM
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karlie
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Regardless of whether or not the subjects are considered taboo to people in their own marriage isn't even the issue to me. That's between each married couple to decide. It's the graphic, often erotic discussion taking place between men and women who aren't married to each other I find very questionable. You can not tell me that is not arousing discussion for most healthy adults! If a man were to get online and talk about sexual details, fantasies, how to's, etc with another man's wife in any other venue, most of us would find that unacceptable and say it's crossing a line. Even the claim that it's to help the marriage wouldn't fly. Just because it takes place on a Christian forum doesn't make it any more acceptable to me. I wouldn't want my husband discussing our intimate lives with another woman(Christian or not) and I know he would feel the same way about me doing that with another man...no matter what the reason is. It has nothing to to with thinking things are taboo or being a prude...I am certainly not! But I think married men and women have no business openly discussing graphic derails of their sex lives with random people of the opposite sex. I think it's asking for intimacies, arousal, and emotional connection where none should exist.
Still, since they allow that there and they have a platform for people who choose to discuss those topics with any and everyone, it keeps those discussions from happening here, so for that, I'm grateful.
_____________________________
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided...great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:05:00 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17217
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quote:
Since 'the marriage bed' site allows for various discussions about...."the marriage bed" I wonder if it's permissable here to discuss whether or not the attitude of "if it's agreeable to both spouses, then...." is allowed here. That seems to be an issue that many christians debate.
Is it permissable(MODS) to discuss whether or not, the "marriage bed is undefiled" means that married couples are free to be.........free?!!
That topic will not be allowed since there is bound to be examples. Just in this thread alone there has been topics such as urinating, sodomy...
If you have questions on this decision, please email admin at community@salemwebnetwork allowing time for a reply during normal business hours. Please do not discuss or debate this decision in the community. Please do not send me a PM disagreeing with me.
Kath
Volunteer Assistant Administrator
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:13:25 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7933
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quote:
ORIGINAL: truthrevealed
if it's agreeable to both spouses, then....". That seems to be an issue that many christians debate.
Again, I'm one to believe that whatever is agreeable between spouses and they feel no convictions from, is their business and nobody else's.
I won't go into specifics on this community, because what I believe may differ from someone else's belief.
quote:
It also seems to be one of the reasons that those who find the site helpful do so, because certain discussions that are not normally discussed within the christian community are freely discussed.
That's why I like it so much. I had many questions pertaining to this subject on the whole, but every time such subject is brought up either in church or on a Christian community, it seems to be dismissed. I greatly disagree with this approach. It is important we know God's heart on this matter.
I am thankful a website such as themarriagebed exists for someone such as myself who has wondered about multiple subjects on this matter.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:25:32 PM
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Kath
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quote:
I am thankful a website such as themarriagebed exists for someone such as myself who has wondered about multiple subjects on this matter.
and I am glad my daughter feels she can ask me questions and isn't even aware of some of the deviant stuff out there.
I honestly do not know why a teenager feels the need to read themarriagebed forums. The rules state it is for marrieds and those engaged (ring and a date)
_____________________________
"It's going to be bad around here when the cows come home to roost."
Dilbert's TRUE QUOTES FROM INDUHVIDUALS
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:39:57 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2549
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
It's the graphic, often erotic discussion taking place between men and women who aren't married to each other I find very questionable. You can not tell me that is not arousing discussion for most healthy adults!
Thank you, Karlie, my sentiments exactly. The only reason I even looked at the site in the first place was because a poster in women's only had a medical question, that I thought would be addressed there, but I checked first before referring her. They did have the information she needed, but I did end up looking around on the site..and I looked at the forums for a little bit..then I gave myself that mental slap on the wrist. I said to myself, "You do not look at porn, you try to not even read romance novels, you would not peek into the bedrooms of your friends, or even verbally ask for that much detail, therefore, you do NOT need to look at these forums, either." And I didn't "let myself" go back and look again, either. And no, I am not saying it is the fault of the website that I looked at the forums. I know I am responsible for my own behaviour.
And yes, it DID have a different effect on me than if I had simply been looking at the website of say, House Beautiful. I am not going to be so deceptive as to deny my own humanness that way.
Like you said, they could at least keep men and women in separate folder, and they could also make it a closed forum, one in which you have to register in order to read it.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:41:56 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
I honestly do not know why a teenager feels the need to read themarriagebed forums. The rules state it is for marrieds and those engaged (ring and a date)
Thank you, Kath, my sentiments exactly, lol.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/16/2008 11:47:17 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kath
and I am glad my daughter feels she can ask me questions and isn't even aware of some of the deviant stuff out there.
Good for her. Not every Christian teenager has this sort of access.
quote:
I honestly do not know why a teenager feels the need to read themarriagebed forums.
This entire time, I've been referring to the website itself, not the forums. I honestly do not know why Christians feel the need to disregard the subject every time its brought up.
It isn't ignored in the Bible, therefore I'm not going to ignore it in life. I want to know what God says about certain things. Therefore, I will rely on His word and those who speak about such things with scriptural support.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/17/2008 12:06:00 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2454
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From: Sunflower State
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quote:
I am glad my daughter feels she can ask me questions and isn't even aware of some of the deviant stuff out there.
Kath,
Unfortunately not all daughters and sons have moms and dads who will openly discuss sex with them and so they go into a marriage really not knowing what is expected, what is "allowable" and etc.
While I do not agree with the site allowing open discussion between opposite sex, I am glad it is there for those who do have questions pertaining to what the Word of God really says about the sexual relationship between husband and wife.
_____________________________
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/17/2008 3:29:06 AM
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everjoyful
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I think the site is valuble to people with little sex education, so they know what is done and helps them if they are not comfortable with something their spouse is doing. However there do seem to be many people posting on the forum-for fun. I have lots of issues with the forum but not the educational pages on the site.
Over the internet you just can't prove that the person posting is a married christian adult.
_____________________________
john 14 v27...do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/17/2008 4:15:53 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7933
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Memaw.
Unfortunately not all daughters and sons have moms and dads who will openly discuss sex with them and so they go into a marriage really not knowing what is expected, what is "allowable" and etc.
Exactly. Thank you.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/17/2008 7:51:34 AM
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DaveW
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As to the "sodomy" charge - I will say here as I have said in other topics that you make sure that the activity you call something actually fits the biblical definition. Sodomy is clearly said to be sinful and Paul says that sodomites shall not inherit the kingdom. But does the activity many have in mind here fit with that?
In the Hebrew, the word is related to male (gay) prostitution because of the certain practices of the men in Sodom. I would not be so sure that a similar activity within a heterosexual marriage would constitute the same.
I can tell you for a fact that TMB in no way condones homosexuality in any form.
Edited to add:
I too am uneasy with that particular practice; and IMO there are sufficient health reasons to avoid that activity.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/17/2008 10:09:23 PM
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ta_mosquito
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From: from MN, now in Ontario :D
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For the record, TMB has a "sister site" called the-generous-wife.com and a "brother site" called the-generous-husband.com for same-gender discussions on the topics. (I know TGW has forums; I don't know if TGH does.)
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Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/18/2008 2:56:33 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 2908
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I don't know if they have forums but m'love and I get their tips... and they are very good. We don't find them gross or graphic but insightful. The tips range from fun to serious and should be applied only as they fit your life. That is the first thing they tell you.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/18/2008 5:23:13 PM
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JJB1222
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I would never post on that site. I want nothing to do with discussing intimate questions that men might read or comment on. I'm sure it has help a lot of people, especially newly weds, but if they can't make the simple structure of Women Only/Men Only forums an option then I see no reason to label it a safe place for married Christians.
That is what I appreciate about CW, and they strictly enforce it.
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~ Jamie ~
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/18/2008 10:06:52 PM
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myka
Posts: 797
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I have visited it looking for some information; however, I didn't find their site very helpful. I haven't found many of the Christian sites to be helpful in dealing with sexuality.
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RE: The marriage bed.com - 8/18/2008 10:49:33 PM
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BookReader
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Joined: 8/18/2008
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Hmmmm... interesting website. I think there are good things and not so good things about the website. I am still thinking about the approriateness of the website. I will have to get back on this. LOL!!
Bookreader
(link edited TOS 13 and 15)
< Message edited by Kath -- 8/19/2008 2:30:02 PM >
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Throwing doubt on another's integrity without providing proof is one of the very common ways gossip starts and is really not very fair on those being judged as such. 
I personally do not feel that unless a teen is getting married soon they need to read such articles as posted there.
). But I do think the info that they've posted is helpful and is Biblically based. I like that part. It's just the forums that make me uneasy. Didn't spend much time reading there. 
It's been a long time since I visited the site and I think they have a lot of good to offer. It would just be nice if they'd keep discussions between men and women separate.
