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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:39:31 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2547
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
That's just it, people aren't weeds. I know that's not what you meant. I just don't like the idea of excluding people because of preconceived ideas one might have.
LOL. That's not what I meant, you got the idea. It's the elimination process. To find the perfect fit, you have to be attracted to the person in all areas -- physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Otherwise, it's not a good match.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
<<<dogsledding at the Canadian Rockies
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:00:23 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
quote:
Ah, so you have just admitted a preference you had!! Of course I want my future husband (if there is one, lol), to be attracted to who I am, but I also want him to be attracted by the whole package..physical, personality, and spiritual.
??? Sorry oneofhisjewels I am not following your train of thought..........My preference, being I think you are saying, that I would rather have a man see me for who I am then what I am physically is somehow me having a physical preference? I am a little confused.
I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. I wasn't saying you had a physical preference, I was saying you had a preference about a guy, and my point was that I, personally don't think having a physical preference is any better or worse than having any other preference.
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:14:32 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2461
Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
That's just it, people aren't weeds. I know that's not what you meant. I just don't like the idea of excluding people because of preconceived ideas one might have.
LOL. That's not what I meant, you got the idea. It's the elimination process. To find the perfect fit, you have to be attracted to the person in all areas -- physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Otherwise, it's not a good match.
Right. You do need to match physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. No argument there. I guess I just don't like the whole online profile process. People are so much more than the words they choose at the time they compose it. And how you present yourself to others determines their perception of you, good, bad or indifferent. Anyway...
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Importing foreign convicts; separate prosecution and penalty for each person imported.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:16:07 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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That's ok, gayle, you're entitled to your opinion, and I do respect it. 
At least over here in singles I notice that (at least most of the time), we disagree politely. In some other folders that I won't name, but I'll just say men don't go there, he he, things can get quite catty.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:16:56 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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I am starting to think that I am invisible here. 
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:19:00 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2461
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Why do you think you're invisible, humble?
_____________________________
Importing foreign convicts; separate prosecution and penalty for each person imported.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:20:10 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hi Bug, because nobody responded to my post that I did in humor. Anyway, I need to be getting to bed, its past my bedtime.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:32:55 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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Actually, I DID miss it humble, let me go find it.
I skimmed through the whole thread and couldn't find it. Can you provide a link?
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/21/2008 1:39:34 AM >
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 1:46:03 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3969
Joined: 2/11/2008
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I’m sure that most of the people using the online dating sites will tell you that it is not the ideal way to meet someone. Most have resorted to online dating because they feel that they have either exhausted all possibilities in their area or they really feel that there are no other options. Really, when it comes right down to it, you are shopping for a mate. Both the men and women are asked to list their preferences. To me, List = “shopping” in real life or online.
I cannot speak from experiences about online dating, but I think being forthright and honest about your preferences is the best route to go. You cannot have the normal interactions with the person to make the normal decisions so you need as much information as possible.
I can speak to the “knowing what you want and looking just for that” My personal experience and opinion is this; You have no idea what you truly want or what is best for you until God sets him or her right in front of you. My Hubby had very few of the qualities I was looking for in a mate. Back then I had a list. God did the matchmaking, and he was perfect for me and I was very attracted to him and I never looked for what I thought I was attracted to previously.
Is having preferences shallow, I don’t think so. I prefer to live in a mild climate in the mountains or near the ocean, God has me living in the extreme temperatures of the desert. Preferences are just that, things we would prefer, unless of course, God has something better.
All once again JMHO. 
_____________________________
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a mans character, give him power" - Abraham Lincoln
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 2:22:19 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1258
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
I’m sure that most of the people using the online dating sites will tell you that it is not the ideal way to meet someone. Most have resorted to online dating because they feel that they have either exhausted all possibilities in their area or they really feel that there are no other options. Really, when it comes right down to it, you are shopping for a mate. Both the men and women are asked to list their preferences. To me, List = “shopping” in real life or online.
I cannot speak from experiences about online dating, but I think being forthright and honest about your preferences is the best route to go. You cannot have the normal interactions with the person to make the normal decisions so you need as much information as possible.
I can speak to the “knowing what you want and looking just for that” My personal experience and opinion is this; You have no idea what you truly want or what is best for you until God sets him or her right in front of you. My Hubby had very few of the qualities I was looking for in a mate. Back then I had a list. God did the matchmaking, and he was perfect for me and I was very attracted to him and I never looked for what I thought I was attracted to previously.
Is having preferences shallow, I don’t think so. I prefer to live in a mild climate in the mountains or near the ocean, God has me living in the extreme temperatures of the desert. Preferences are just that, things we would prefer, unless of course, God has something better.
All once again JMHO.
I think sometimes we have these lists---and I think some of the lists people want in a mate, in my opinion are uttlerly ridiculous. There are women who complain that there are a lack of godly men--and the reason why is because women search for those who love the lord, but men and I'm not talking about everyone because there are many who don't care about those lists because opposities do attract---and those who have these requiments of a date want perfection, and if perfection what people want, they will be disapointed big time.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 5:34:37 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Actually, I DID miss it humble, let me go find it.
I skimmed through the whole thread and couldn't find it. Can you provide a link?
I'm sorry Jewels, it was this post that I made here instead. 
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 7:42:45 AM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
No. It says he wants HIS ideal of perfection. Every guy is attracted to a different type of woman. We are not all attracted to supermodels etc.
If she doesn't meet his standard how would she be otherwise attractive?
So - they are looking for perfection - which no one is. I don't understand why someone has to meet a specific "standard" to be attractive. They either are or they or not. Trying to make it formulaic is just sad.
quote:
It seems that no matter how he phrases it, whether he tries to be gentle or not, some people are going to call him a jerk for asking for what he wants.
WHY does he have to "ask for what he wants?" Why can't he just close the matches he isn't attracted to? It sounds like trying to get the girls to weed themselves out. And you know what - I do. I have issues with my weight that I know aren't entirely realistic. So if someone sounds like they might be picky about weight - I get scared off immediately. I'd rather they just tactfully closed the match rather than saying something to get me to close it.
Yes, perhaps I'm taking the whole issue a bit personally and lashing out calling these guys jerks. But it hurts.
quote:
When you go to a restaurant wanting fish do you order "Bring me whatever you think is good" or do you order fish? Why is it OK there but not when you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life together?
I have asked in a restaurant what the waiter thinks is good. But that's food - I eat it, I get nourishment from it, and then it is gone. If it is bad - even if I see it again, it will only be once! 
I'm not sure what her being a little chubby has to do with the rest of your life though. If she's unhealthy - that makes sense. Just like I won't date a smoker, because it is unhealthy. But I'm not going to rule a guy out just because he isn't physical perfection, so long as he's healthy. Especially knowing that for myself, I don't know if I'll ever meet my idea of physical perfection ... it always seems to get smaller when I do.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 7:57:48 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12857
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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I have some thoughts on this matter - but, I have to leave for work shortly. I'm going to do some serious praying about what needs to be said.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 8:24:18 AM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7668
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
I’m sure that most of the people using the online dating sites will tell you that it is not the ideal way to meet someone. Most have resorted to online dating because they feel that they have either exhausted all possibilities in their area or they really feel that there are no other options. Really, when it comes right down to it, you are shopping for a mate. Both the men and women are asked to list their preferences. To me, List = “shopping” in real life or online.
I cannot speak from experiences about online dating, but I think being forthright and honest about your preferences is the best route to go. You cannot have the normal interactions with the person to make the normal decisions so you need as much information as possible.
I can speak to the “knowing what you want and looking just for that” My personal experience and opinion is this; You have no idea what you truly want or what is best for you until God sets him or her right in front of you. My Hubby had very few of the qualities I was looking for in a mate. Back then I had a list. God did the matchmaking, and he was perfect for me and I was very attracted to him and I never looked for what I thought I was attracted to previously.
Is having preferences shallow, I don’t think so. I prefer to live in a mild climate in the mountains or near the ocean, God has me living in the extreme temperatures of the desert. Preferences are just that, things we would prefer, unless of course, God has something better.
All once again JMHO.
I think you hit the nail on the head, Nadine. We may have preferences but we just never know what God may think is better.
I mentioned that I am attracted to tall, dark men with thick dark hair. Right now I'm talking to a tall VERY white, very bald, light haired man. Had I ONLY stuck with my preference I would have missed the blessing he is.
I know this is a horrible example but I was not physically attracted to my ex-husband before we started dating. Not at all. Then I spent a few months getting to know him and when he asked me on our first date I waited to see if I would wrinkle my nose, but I didn't. I realised my attraction to him had changed when I got to know him.
We can have a list all we want, but God knows better than we do and will do according to His will.
What is the old saying, 'man plans and God laughs'?? Seems some of us forget this...
Edited because I apparently forgot how to type 
< Message edited by Tinkerbell_ -- 8/21/2008 9:11:27 AM >
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 9:35:06 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8029
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
The sooner you can weed out the ones that don't fit your list, the sooner you'll find the one that do.
That's just it, people aren't weeds. I know that's not what you meant. I just don't like the idea of excluding people because of preconceived ideas one might have.
But since, for many of us, those preconceived ideas are not going to change (I will not date a woman who is not attractive to me) then it's best to winnow out the ones who don't fit right off the bat. Why lead someone on by not excluding them when they have no hope at all of making the cut to the first date?
quote:
I'll just concede that online dating is not my preference. LOL! It's turning the dating and mating process into a marketing process, imo.
Dating and mating has always been a marketing process. It's just been so unconscious for most of us that we never noticed that before.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 9:39:24 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8029
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
I hope everyone here do not get offended or take offense, but believe it or not, our earthly tabanacles are fading over time, whether you are improving them or having a weeve style or enhancing yourself to attract a man. Really, the physical should not be number one on your list because the physical cannot tell you much. People can be decieved by apperances.
A christian, in my opinion should look beyond the physical attractivness and look for an inward quality to the person, like charater and being a christ-like person.
This is what some people on this board will not agree with me, but that's ok....
I agree iwth you. But the two are not exclusive. I'm not looking for just a package. I'm looking for the total package, someone who is attractive to me in every facet of her being. (See prairiehiker's post 76)
If the outside doesn't look good then I already know she's at least 25% short of what I'm looking for. Since there will be people who meet my entire list, why settle for someone who doesn't?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 9:51:14 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8029
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
No. It says he wants HIS ideal of perfection. Every guy is attracted to a different type of woman. We are not all attracted to supermodels etc.
If she doesn't meet his standard how would she be otherwise attractive?
So - they are looking for perfection - which no one is. I don't understand why someone has to meet a specific "standard" to be attractive. They either are or they or not. Trying to make it formulaic is just sad.
Not perfection, just attractive. Perfection doesn't exist. Even the best looking women I've ever seen have some flaw to them.
I don't understand the rest of your statement. The "standard" is that they are attractive. If I know what is attractive to me, then why can't I list those things I find attractive?
quote:
quote:
It seems that no matter how he phrases it, whether he tries to be gentle or not, some people are going to call him a jerk for asking for what he wants.
WHY does he have to "ask for what he wants?" Why can't he just close the matches he isn't attracted to? It sounds like trying to get the girls to weed themselves out. And you know what - I do. I have issues with my weight that I know aren't entirely realistic. So if someone sounds like they might be picky about weight - I get scared off immediately. I'd rather they just tactfully closed the match rather than saying something to get me to close it.
On the one site I am on, there are no preselcted matches, you can search but the search is very loose. For example, I saw one owmen who looked like a very close fit for me. However she didn't want any children (no man who had children already) Counts me out. So I know not to even contcat her as we don't fit.
If we know we don't fit someone, why contact them? I figure I was miles ahead by her telling in her profile that she didn't want kids. Saved me bunches of time.
quote:
Yes, perhaps I'm taking the whole issue a bit personally and lashing out calling these guys jerks. But it hurts.
I understandit can hurt. But it's not personal. Its the same exact process that occurs every day in real life. We just don't get to see it. On line we have to talk about it cause there is no other way.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:30:20 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12857
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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You know what gang – this thread has been stuck in my craw since it began, and the stuff from yesterday is making me crazy. We go round and round and round again – on the same topic – picking apart individual posts – with there being no chance of anyone changing their minds. God has made us all different. Please stop with the accusations that one or the other is wrong. Having the opinion God gave you is not wrong!
And no, this is NOT the post I was planning on making - that's yet to come.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:42:39 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12857
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
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Locking thread.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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