RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be single
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 4:19:56 PM
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losgan
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
If so (for me) I sure wish He'd tell me what some of them are. I've not found any yet and I can use all the help in that area that I can get.
All in all though an excellent lesson Psalms
John, for me what has worked best so far when I'm not sure what God wants me working on is to get out there and throw myself into it. Luckily I found a very volunteer/service driven church. I took a class called "SHAPE" ... spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality and experiences ... that helped me learn about myself and where to "plug in."
Finding out what your gifts are is easy - there are lots of online sources such as:
http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi
And sometimes, once people know you have a heart to serve, things just get placed in front of you as opportunities!
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 4:44:07 PM
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BugLady
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quote:
And sometimes, once people know you have a heart to serve, things just get placed in front of you as opportunities!
This is so true.
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 7:52:34 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
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From: South Carolina
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I know I said that I would come back last night and answer this question. I've thought and i've thought about it. Honestly I can't tell you what I'd you. It depends on where I am in my life. Right now i'm not in a good place to tell you.
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri
Dance like no one is watching. If they are, who cares!
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 8:26:04 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
Finding out what your gifts are is easy - there are lots of online sources such as:
http://www.churchgrowth.org/cgi-cg/gifts.cgi
And sometimes, once people know you have a heart to serve, things just get placed in front of you as opportunities!
Oh, finding things to do is a snap, I try to stay pretty involved. Finding things that are fulfilling however is a way different story. I do a ton of things that need to be done, but none of them fulfill me
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 8:26:28 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AngelInWaiting1983
I know I said that I would come back last night and answer this question. I've thought and i've thought about it. Honestly I can't tell you what I'd you. It depends on where I am in my life. Right now i'm not in a good place to tell you.
Big Hugs to you AngelinWaiting.
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 8:30:04 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Oh, finding things to do is a snap, I try to stay pretty involved. Finding things that are fulfilling however is a way different story. I do a ton of things that need to be done, but none of them fulfill me
Well, I don't know what to tell ya other than that I'll pray for you. I'll be frankly honest - I think you are missing some opportunities (not to serve, but for God to serve you through it) and placing a large burden on your future wife.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 8:32:59 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
People have commented that someday, they'll find me passed out in some hiking trails, totally inebriated, half eaten by a bear. lol.
Prairie, you crack me up! What a visual. 
Well, to add more to your imagination, visualize that while I'm lying dead half eaten by a bear, my date would probably be cowering between some rocks with a big grin saying "ah, and she thinks she can outrun me....I showed her....".
It's an ongoing hiking jokes between my friends that the one who runs the slowest gets eaten by a bear, lol.
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 8:58:49 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
I'll be frankly honest - I think you are missing some opportunities (not to serve, but for God to serve you through it) and placing a large burden on your future wife.
Missing what opportunities? (Suggestions would be welcome) and how would this be a burden on my future wife? I'm at a loss here.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:03:09 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
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quote:
Well, to add more to your imagination, visualize that while I'm lying dead half eaten by a bear, my date would probably be cowering between some rocks with a big grin saying "ah, and she thinks she can outrun me....I showed her....".
Oh my. To prevent this horrific tragedy maybe you need to change who you date. Do you find a limp attractive? Perhaps an elderly gentleman with a cane? I'm only saying this because we want you to stay alive PrairieHiker and you need someone slower than you to keep the bear busy while you escape to safety ...
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:06:09 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2510
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Well, to add more to your imagination, visualize that while I'm lying dead half eaten by a bear, my date would probably be cowering between some rocks with a big grin saying "ah, and she thinks she can outrun me....I showed her....".
"Of all the ways to die, this would be one of the very bad ones."
_____________________________
Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:06:11 PM
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John_O
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rgod, Absolutely hilarious!!!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:10:52 PM
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Psalms274
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From: Georgia
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quote:
Oh, finding things to do is a snap, I try to stay pretty involved. Finding things that are fulfilling however is a way different story. I do a ton of things that need to be done, but none of them fulfill me
Our Pastor told a story about his childhood in this evening's service. He had polio as a kid, and because of it had to endure years of surgery and braces on his legs. He had a doctor place him up on a table and gave him some advice. (He was 9 or 10 at the time.) The advice, "There are going to be a lot of things you can't do ... focus on the things you can do and not the things you cannot do."
He stated that though it was VERY good advice, it was really tough to hear ... riding a bike means everything to a kid. And it is so much easier said then done.
But when we focus our whole life on something we cannot do ... or do not have ... nothing can fulfill us. What has helped me in this struggle is to gaze upon the Father ... looking deep into His make-up ... His Character. Memorize scripture that speak to your hurts, and when you are feeling the pain ... or when you are just feeling the emptiness that goes with just trying to make it ... talk to the Father about the truth of His word.
An example ... when I feel like God just doesn't care about my hurt ... His word tells me otherwise ...
"The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands" I then start to talk to Him about it ... "Are You really there for me? Do You have compassion on me right now in my sorrow? ... Yes ... You did die for me ... Yes, You are always right (couldn't I be right just once?  ... I take that back ... I suppose my calling the shots would end up disastrous!  ) ... and I know none of this has taken You by surprise ... but LORD, it took me by surprise and I'm not sure what to do with it."
The question He most often asks then is "Do you believe me in this circumstance? That I am in it and I have a plan for you in it ... right now? Do you trust me?" I have no other answer then yes ... even if it doesn't look good to me with my "lame" earthly vision. I just have no where else to go … and no choice except to believe Him. So by faith I step out, reminding Him He promises something in this. I do not know what the something is, but I ask Him to open my eyes to see it.
It has taken me sooooo very long to get to this point. I have the battle scars of years of misery as I clung onto what I thought was best for me ... and I still go there sometimes ... and when I do, I am miserable. But I am learning to just trust Him in this moment and to step out and EXPECT Him to do something ‘far beyond anything I could ask or imagine.” Often that something is not anything I would have thought of as fulfilling … yet when I expect the unexpected; He fills me to overflow with His joy and Love that just spills over to others around me.
I think it comes down to choosing to believe Him … that He can and will fulfill me now in this circumstance. I have found that as I change my focus to expecting the unexpected from Him, and off of the things I think I need but do not have … I am filled to overflow in the most unexpected way.
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I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
< Linus w/ a friends baby!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:12:20 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2102
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
Oh my. To prevent this horrific tragedy maybe you need to change who you date. Do you find a limp attractive? Perhaps an elderly gentleman with a cane? I'm only saying this because we want you to stay alive PrairieHiker and you need someone slower than you to keep the bear busy while you escape to safety ...
Trust me, lately, I've been frequenting our old age homes, and geriatric wards...but no luck yet.
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:27:31 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
Joined: 9/5/2006
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excellent post Psalms. I do all those things.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:33:15 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2510
Joined: 12/5/2005
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I don't think I actually answered the question. If God were to confirm that I would be single for life, I'd look up to Him and say with a sigh, "Thank you for clearing that up. Say, while you're at, mind telling me who highlighted my Scott O'Grady book, hacked into my computer, and did all those other mean and cruel things? I'd just like to know who I'm forgiving, because forgiving is much easier when you know who to forgive."
_____________________________
Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:35:23 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
I'll be frankly honest - I think you are missing some opportunities (not to serve, but for God to serve you through it) and placing a large burden on your future wife.
Missing what opportunities? (Suggestions would be welcome) and how would this be a burden on my future wife? I'm at a loss here.
Psalms spoke to what I was meaning very well.
God has us in situations right now where we are single. That's His will at this point. Rather than viewing my life as incomplete, and that nothing can be fulfilling - I ask God to fulfill me. I look for the tiny moments that are almost like a physical hug. Yes, sometimes it is very very hard. One morning I watched the sunrise and just didn't feel it, so I layed in the grass and prayed until I did.
God is sufficient. His plans are perfect.
I say I'm afraid you are potentially placing a burden on your future wife because right now you are honestly so obsessed with the fact that you are without her. She cannot complete you. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to. Only God can fulfill and complete us.
If I choose to serve just based on what I want (for example - I'll serve in such-and-such ministry because there are lots of guys there, and I'll bet my future husband is there) ... I may not receive fulfillment because I'm outside God's will even though I'm serving.
But if I approach God with an open heart and truly listen to what He has for me, and be still and quiet and await Him with upturned hands - He WILL give me fulfillment, even through the smallest task.
Yes, I long for a husband! Sometimes I ache to be hugged, or given a kind smile or a compliment. I'm not saying it is easy. But I take those feeling directly to my loving Father. He cares that we are hurting. And we have to trust His reasons and timing. He has GOOD plans for us.
I'm not saying it is easy or that I do a good job of it. I know you know all these things, but honestly lately you seem to have lost faith in them. And it makes me sad, because a few months ago I remember you had such strong and positive faith. I'm praying for you, and for all of us.
If life on earth were heaven we wouldn't want to go home. :)
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/24/2008 9:56:46 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
God has us in situations right now where we are single. That's His will at this point. Rather than viewing my life as incomplete, and that nothing can be fulfilling - I ask God to fulfill me. I look for the tiny moments that are almost like a physical hug. Yes, sometimes it is very very hard. One morning I watched the sunrise and just didn't feel it, so I layed in the grass and prayed until I did.
I don't believe that nothing can be fulfilling. I just haven't found anything yet that is. That's why I commented earlier that I sure wish He'd tell me some of them. With the little one I don't have many opportunities to get out and about so I have to choose my activities wisely. (I may get out once a month when I'm not on travel for work)
quote:
I say I'm afraid you are potentially placing a burden on your future wife because right now you are honestly so obsessed with the fact that you are without her. She cannot complete you. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to. Only God can fulfill and complete us.
1. I'm not obsessed. Just very interested
2. I am complete. But together we will be more complete. (It's a concept that I can't really explain to someone who's not been there. I don't expect her to complete me as a task for her to accomplish, it's more of a natural outcome of marriage. Two become one.
quote:
If I choose to serve just based on what I want (for example - I'll serve in such-and-such ministry because there are lots of guys there, and I'll bet my future husband is there) ... I may not receive fulfillment because I'm outside God's will even though I'm serving.
I agree. I've taken over the multimedia department. No women for miles and miles and miles around there . I serve where the need exists. Not where my chances are best. I've said all along that God would have to bring her to me. And He will.
quote:
I'm not saying it is easy or that I do a good job of it. I know you know all these things, but honestly lately you seem to have lost faith in them. And it makes me sad, because a few months ago I remember you had such strong and positive faith. I'm praying for you, and for all of us.
I'll admit to dealing with a little discouragement lately. I'll take any prayers I can get. Thank you.
Thank you all for the responses. If nothing else they force me to examine myself. Which is always a good thing
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/25/2008 12:09:52 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3933
Joined: 2/11/2008
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quote:
But when we focus our whole life on something we cannot do ... or do not have ... nothing can fulfill us. What has helped me in this struggle is to gaze upon the Father ... looking deep into His make-up ... His Character. Memorize scripture that speak to your hurts, and when you are feeling the pain ... or when you are just feeling the emptiness that goes with just trying to make it ... talk to the Father about the truth of His word.
An example ... when I feel like God just doesn't care about my hurt ... His word tells me otherwise ...
"The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands" I then start to talk to Him about it ... "Are You really there for me? Do You have compassion on me right now in my sorrow? ... Yes ... You did die for me ... Yes, You are always right (couldn't I be right just once? ... I take that back ... I suppose my calling the shots would end up disastrous! ) ... and I know none of this has taken You by surprise ... but LORD, it took me by surprise and I'm not sure what to do with it."
The question He most often asks then is "Do you believe me in this circumstance? That I am in it and I have a plan for you in it ... right now? Do you trust me?" I have no other answer then yes ... even if it doesn't look good to me with my "lame" earthly vision. I just have no where else to go … and no choice except to believe Him. So by faith I step out, reminding Him He promises something in this. I do not know what the something is, but I ask Him to open my eyes to see it.
It has taken me sooooo very long to get to this point. I have the battle scars of years of misery as I clung onto what I thought was best for me ... and I still go there sometimes ... and when I do, I am miserable. But I am learning to just trust Him in this moment and to step out and EXPECT Him to do something ‘far beyond anything I could ask or imagine.” Often that something is not anything I would have thought of as fulfilling … yet when I expect the unexpected; He fills me to overflow with His joy and Love that just spills over to others around me.
I think it comes down to choosing to believe Him … that He can and will fulfill me now in this circumstance. I have found that as I change my focus to expecting the unexpected from Him, and off of the things I think I need but do not have … I am filled to overflow in the most unexpected way.
I loved your post Psalms. I could have written it a little over a year ago when my husband was dying. The Lord had spoken to my heart that he would not live and that I would be alone.
His Word and His presence brought me peace and I was able in the midst of the circumstances trust Him and know that this was His plan from the beginning and that I what I wanted more than anything was to please Him even if that meant giving up my husband after 20 wonderful years together. He walked with me every step of the way. I was never alone and I know that I am not alone even now.
So here I am a little over a year later and I am struggling with the pain of loneliness and overwhelming desire to be close to another human being again. I am still trusting. I still desire His will. I know His Word and I desire to intentionally walk it every day, yet I am unhappy and feeling an unbelievable void. A void that God himself cannot fill unless He chooses to bring another man into my life. I am not lacking in God, I am filled to overflowing. Yet there is still a void. If God Himself desired to fill that void, He would never have created woman. Only we as humans can fill that void in each other. That is how he created us.
I cannot use the word fulfilled to describe any area of my life, it is too "all encompassing". I have moments where I feel I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing exactly what I think He wants me to do, and I feel the joy that comes from knowing Him and doing His will. This soon passes and I again feel lonely.
It's like the alcoholic that will do almost anything for a drink.
My name is Nadine and I am addicted to marriage. LOL. Maybe I need a twelve step program.
_____________________________
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams.... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/25/2008 6:48:24 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
So here I am a little over a year later and I am struggling with the pain of loneliness and overwhelming desire to be close to another human being again. I am still trusting. I still desire His will. I know His Word and I desire to intentionally walk it every day, yet I am unhappy and feeling an unbelievable void. A void that God himself cannot fill unless He chooses to bring another man into my life. I am not lacking in God, I am filled to overflowing. Yet there is still a void. If God Himself desired to fill that void, He would never have created woman. Only we as humans can fill that void in each other. That is how he created us.
I cannot use the word fulfilled to describe any area of my life, it is too "all encompassing". I have moments where I feel I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing exactly what I think He wants me to do, and I feel the joy that comes from knowing Him and doing His will. This soon passes and I again feel lonely.
It's like the alcoholic that will do almost anything for a drink.
My name is Nadine and I am addicted to marriage. LOL. Maybe I need a twelve step program.
Hi Nadine!
(Excellent post. says exactly what I've felt)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/25/2008 7:58:25 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2102
Joined: 12/11/2007
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John and Nadine, can I join your support group, LOL?
I have no clue what it's like to be widowed. I can only imagine that it's very difficult. I have a sister in law that I'm very closed to. She's been widowed for 5.5 years. My brother treated her like a queen during their brief marriage--6 years. He died a hero. He saved his son from drowning, but lost his life. Anyway, to this day, my sister talks about him as though he's still there; that they are still married. She's doing really well in life. But in her heart, she is still committed to her husband. She's not mourning; or sad. If anything, she's happy and have adjusted well. I've told her time and time again that I would be happy if she got married again, but she won't hear of it. Her focus are her children. Do you guys think this is normal?
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/25/2008 11:33:16 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8059
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
John and Nadine, can I join your support group, LOL?
Hi PrairieHiker!
quote:
I have no clue what it's like to be widowed. I can only imagine that it's very difficult. I have a sister in law that I'm very closed to. She's been widowed for 5.5 years. My brother treated her like a queen during their brief marriage--6 years. He died a hero. He saved his son from drowning, but lost his life. Anyway, to this day, my sister talks about him as though he's still there; that they are still married. She's doing really well in life. But in her heart, she is still committed to her husband. She's not mourning; or sad. If anything, she's happy and have adjusted well. I've told her time and time again that I would be happy if she got married again, but she won't hear of it. Her focus are her children. Do you guys think this is normal?
Before moving on to spouse number two you have to accept that spouse number one is dead. If she hasn't mourned then she's still hasn't accepted that. As long as she is happy and doing well that's OK. But the day will probably come that she will have to face it. (and it may be messy)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: If God were to confirm with you that you would be s... - 8/28/2008 11:51:19 PM
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ColoradoLady36
Posts: 160
Joined: 8/11/2008
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For me, I would cry for a long time. I would beg God to change his mind, and if it wasn't his will then I would pray in earnest for him to take that want for a true loving relationship away from me. Otherwise, I would live out the rest of my life grieving for something that my heart has wanted, but that he doesn't' want for me. Man, this is depressing, I am starting to cry just thinking about it.
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