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Babies everywhere! - 8/24/2008 1:41:38 AM
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Suzyq1222
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A lot of my friends are pregnant with their first child right now- 5 to be exact. And another friend just had a baby about a month ago.
I have been pretty comfortable with being single for quite a while. But now with this many friends all expecting babies, it has kind of made me wish I were married and having a baby too. I know it probably sounds like jealousy. Which it is partly. I'm super excited for all of them, but I keep hoping and praying for it be my turn. I'm 29 and not getting any younger. I know that God has a wonderful plan for me, but lately the waiting has been hard. There are no "prospects" in site even. That I've noticed anyway. None at church, and none at work. And I don't really go anywhere else to socialize, so how is a guy to meet me? I don't want to be the one to search out a guy, b/c I don't think that's what God wants. So I just keep waiting. Is there anything else I should be doing?
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/24/2008 1:28:43 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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Suzy - I know how you feel because I'm in precisely the same place. 29 - all my friends seem to be pregnant at once (two even had the same due date).
Cast your worries on God, express the desires of your heart to Him. And ask Him how He wants you to be serving Him. Being single and without children opens up excellent opportunities to serve God.
Take care of your "what ifs" ... do some self-discovery ... get to know yourself. Find a hobby.
And honestly - not looking is probably one of the better things you could be doing.
Not that I'm an expert - but try to imagine a guy who just goes to work and church, and has that "hunting" look. Then picture a guy who is going to work and church, who has hobbies and enjoys life, and doesn't seem to be sizing up every woman he meets as a potential "prospect." Which one is more appealing?
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/24/2008 8:40:37 PM
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Suzyq1222
Posts: 15
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Losgan-
You made a lot of good points. Thanks. I see what you mean about the 2 guys you described also. The guy that is just living his life and serving God is def. appealing, vs someone who is always on the look out for a woman. Everything is in God's time. After the sermon at church today, reading what you have said here, and talking to another single friend, I have become more fully aware that God is working on me, and that He wants me to keep my eyes first and foremost on Him- now and always. Thanks again.
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/24/2008 8:51:41 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8058
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Suzyq1222
Losgan-
You made a lot of good points. Thanks. I see what you mean about the 2 guys you described also. The guy that is just living his life and serving God is def. appealing, vs someone who is always on the look out for a woman. Everything is in God's time. After the sermon at church today, reading what you have said here, and talking to another single friend, I have become more fully aware that God is working on me, and that He wants me to keep my eyes first and foremost on Him- now and always. Thanks again.
This is off topic but my baby (the Girl) came into the church after the morning service holding a tiger swallowtail just like your avatar in her hand. She was all broke up because it could no longre fly. While it was in perfect condition it just sat there with it's wings open. So I had to explain to her how butterflies don't live very long.
She asked "Does it seem long to them?"
Lot of wisdom hidden in that question. We stress and panic about such little things when our lives are the same as the butterfly's when compared against eternity. We really do just need to take things day by day and let God supply our needs (preaching to me more than to any other) even if that need is a spouse or a baby
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/24/2008 9:45:42 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
This is off topic but my baby (the Girl) came into the church after the morning service holding a tiger swallowtail just like your avatar in her hand. She was all broke up because it could no longre fly. While it was in perfect condition it just sat there with it's wings open. So I had to explain to her how butterflies don't live very long.
She asked "Does it seem long to them?"
Lot of wisdom hidden in that question. We stress and panic about such little things when our lives are the same as the butterfly's when compared against eternity. We really do just need to take things day by day and let God supply our needs (preaching to me more than to any other) even if that need is a spouse or a baby
OH my goodness - I love your little girl. That has to be the sweetest thing I've heard in a long time! And you're right - such wisdom. Wow.
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/25/2008 12:19:00 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2540
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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Suzy, I understand to some extent how you feel. I, well, actually I had a whole long answer planned out for you but just got a pretty bad shot of pain in my hands (those who know me 'round here will understand, I'll explain to you later), so I will be back to talk to you, Lord Willing in the next day or two.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/25/2008 9:41:54 PM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/25/2008 8:41:21 AM
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sunshinesoprano
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From: Georgia
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Suzy, I too understand exactly how you feel.
I'm the only single "younger" woman in my church. All the other singles are older and have teenagers.
Even kids I taught in youth choir are married now! It can be very discouraging.
I don't have any prospects, either.
And of course, part of you feels that tug, wanting to be a wife and a mother. That's simply a reminder that it's there.
It's incredibly hard to wait, but often the longer you wait, the sweeter the reward. Just focus on your life, on God, on what He's wanting you to do. When it gets hard and you get down, just remember God's in control and that His timing is perfect.
This will be a good place for you to find friends and a refuge.
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/25/2008 9:41:29 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2540
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
This is off topic but my baby (the Girl) came into the church after the morning service holding a tiger swallowtail just like your avatar in her hand. She was all broke up because it could no longre fly. While it was in perfect condition it just sat there with it's wings open. So I had to explain to her how butterflies don't live very long.
She asked "Does it seem long to them?"
Awwwwww, that is beautiful.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/25/2008 9:43:32 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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Suzy, I haven't forgotten you. I have been praying carefully over a response
A few hours later:Suzy, I am still formulating a response..I think I am almost there. I think by morning I will have a response.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/26/2008 1:28:34 AM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/26/2008 9:16:11 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2540
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OK, deep breath, here goes.
I was a baby lover since I was a little girl, a kid lover since I was a teenager.
I've worked with countless kids over the years in various capacities. I always thought I would marry young and have a pack of kids young, but I didn't. I'm 36, and single. I know how you feel. At this point, I have seen kids I used to babysit for become parents, it can be hard.
However I am an aunt to two, with one more on the way from another sister, so I put many of my maternal energies there, and I also do various things with the kids at church.
I know, though, it's never quite the same as having your own, and that's one thing I haven't given up on. Some in this folder have simply decided they no longer desire children, but I am just NOT of the same mindset. It probably won't be through biological means, due to my age and other medical issues I have, and it will by no means be the 12 or the 7 I used to want. For years I wanted 2 boys and a girl, and now lately I've wanted two girls, hopefully twins.  (although, I know if you have them biologically, you can't control this, many adoption agencies let you pick). If I get married in the near future, I do plan on telling my husband that I want to adopt(at least discuss it, as like I said, I probably can't go the biological route, although I haven't totally ruled it out, but I would be prayerful and careful about it), and if I'm still single at 40, and if I could afford it, I may go ahead and adopt a chid of my own. And I have seen ads for adoption agencies that put no age limit, or restrictions on marital status on the adoptive parent. I really believe that there is some reason God has not taken my desire for children away. I'm not saying I'll DEFINITELY have children, I'm just saying that for some reason, God has chosen to have me continue to have that desire.
So, I would say, for now, enjoy your friends babies, babysit (parents love a night out), and at the same time let your desire be made known to God, and yet don't let that desire be your focus.
I hope that makes sense.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/26/2008 11:35:08 PM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/26/2008 10:51:41 PM
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Suzyq1222
Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
This is off topic but my baby (the Girl) came into the church after the morning service holding a tiger swallowtail just like your avatar in her hand. She was all broke up because it could no longre fly. While it was in perfect condition it just sat there with it's wings open. So I had to explain to her how butterflies don't live very long.
She asked "Does it seem long to them?"
Lot of wisdom hidden in that question. We stress and panic about such little things when our lives are the same as the butterfly's when compared against eternity. We really do just need to take things day by day and let God supply our needs (preaching to me more than to any other) even if that need is a spouse or a baby
There really is a lot of wisdom in that question! It reminds me how brief our time here on earth really is, and that we should keep our eyes on the Lord and His purpose for us. Even when things seem long, but, our life here is like a blink of an eye.
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 8/26/2008 11:37:06 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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Suzy, I'm glad you understood my post, even though I accidentally left the word "NOT" out.
I also meant to tell you that God has given me a very maternal role in my life right now. I take care of my disabled sister for my job (she is 28 yrs.old but at a 4 month level). It is challenging and rewarding.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/26/2008 11:52:55 PM >
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/27/2008 2:10:20 AM
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Suzyq1222
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thanks
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 11:54:33 AM
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jesuschick247
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus
Everyone seems to be pregnant lately, and even though I'm only 21...I get jealous sometimes.
I feel for ya or with ya or whatever...
I'm right there with you Poppy, I may only be almost 20, but I have desired to be a wife and mother for as long as I can remember! For me right now though, I try and glean wisdom from my friends who are moms and older than me so that when God does choose to send me the right guy and the time comes for me to be one, I will be better prepared! One of my best friends is 10 years older than me and has four kids under the age of ten, who I love to death! I am content for the time being just getting to babysit them and glean from her wisdom, and wait for someday! But, I know how all you guys feel!
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 12:48:01 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12870
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Okay, EVERY time I see this thread - I want to go running in the other direction - I just SO don't do babies. ***shudders***
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 12:50:50 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
Okay, EVERY time I see this thread - I want to go running in the other direction - I just SO don't do babies. ***shudders***
I'm sorry that you don't do babies, I can't imagine not doing babies, I love them so much! Everything about them is just such a miracle to me, their tiny hands and feet, the way they look up at you and smile, God really out did Himself when He took time to create the human race!
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 12:54:56 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12870
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From: west coast of FL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
Okay, EVERY time I see this thread - I want to go running in the other direction - I just SO don't do babies. ***shudders***
I'm sorry that you don't do babies, I can't imagine not doing babies, I love them so much! Everything about them is just such a miracle to me, their tiny hands and feet, the way they look up at you and smile, God really out did Himself when He took time to create the human race!
Well, it IS a good thing that I don't do babies - seeing that I'm rapidly approaching 48, never married, AND nature is taking care of me ever having one. God's called me into doing other things - having a family was never in the plan.
Oh, I agree they are a miracle - just not a miracle that I want to produce. It's great that there are others to make up for those like me.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 1:00:44 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
Okay, EVERY time I see this thread - I want to go running in the other direction - I just SO don't do babies. ***shudders***
I'm sorry that you don't do babies, I can't imagine not doing babies, I love them so much! Everything about them is just such a miracle to me, their tiny hands and feet, the way they look up at you and smile, God really out did Himself when He took time to create the human race!
Well, it IS a good thing that I don't do babies - seeing that I'm rapidly approaching 48, never married, AND nature is taking care of me ever having one. God's called me into doing other things - having a family was never in the plan.
Oh, I agree they are a miracle - just not a miracle that I want to produce. It's great that there are others to make up for those like me.
Okay, I understand where you are coming from, I guess I will make up for you I want four kids, 2 biological and 2 adopted, hopefully 2 boys and 2 girls! And yes, Poppy, I have seen a delivery and I still want to have kids! LOL! I can't imagine wanting anything more than I want kids, I guess it's just a desire God put in my heart, I can't ever remember not wanting to be a mom!
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 1:10:15 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12870
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Okay folks - this is sounding like it needs to be in WO - so, let's try to keep it on topic.....in how we, as singles, deal with folks we know having babies, when we are not - and want them.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Babies everywhere! - 9/29/2008 1:56:03 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8058
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
Okay folks - this is sounding like it needs to be in WO - so, let's try to keep it on topic.....in how we, as singles, deal with folks we know having babies, when we are not - and want them.
OK.
Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, All of our friends and family were pregnant. My sister, M's sister, M's best friend and lots of folks at church. We miscarried.
It was devestating. We did a lot of cruing and a lot of praying. God gave us some promises which we held onto, but we misinterpreted them and that caused some hurt too.
It was not a fun time.
We ended up loving on all of those babies. In fact I still have a picture on my desk of my favorite youngest local niece when she was about 2. But we didn't get our baby then.
10 years later the promise came true. and God gave us the Girl.
I still have the same issues though. My best friend is my age and has 4 kids. The folks across the street from him (also friends of ours) have 9 kids. Children are an inheritence of the Lord and blessed is the man who's quiver is full the bible says (paraphrased) And I wonder "where's my blessing?"
But like everything else in my life I have to rely on God. He will provide. So I can't get down about it, I just have to enjoy life and what He has already given me.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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