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I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:03:00 AM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
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I dont know if i have a bad attitude or if circumstances are telling me something that are red flags.. im disappointed in my church, as a member, i dont feel very supported. i dont want to bore you with a long essay, but i also feel kinda dissatisifed, and i dont know if its me or what. we are a small church that Im a member of ..and i have a question -
what do you think about church members calling each other on the phone to see how they are feeling, especially if the other members know i am sick. or is this too much to ask? maybe no one does this anymore. last week i was so sick with a horrible back spasms, i stayed home to rest, but also i stayed home another few days from church just to see if anyone would call me to see if they cared. no one did. but when i went back to church the other day several people came up to me and were supportive and a couple of them said they prayed for me. is this all i should expect? maybe im thinking too selfishly and wanting more attention than what i should get as an adult.
what about expectations from other church members, when i needed help, only two people offered to help which i appreciate. but then maybe i just happened to pick a bad day when no one was truly available. i feel im helping somewhat, but not getting help in return, so i feel like a giver but not getting it back. maybe thats a selfish attitude on my part and maybe i should just worry about doing good and not expecting to get repaid. (but in the meantime, my feelings got hurt somewhat).
i also feel some aspects about the church service and the church itself are bugging me. they are not doctrinal issues, but just various idiocyncracies which drive me nuts.
I have been praying about it, and i dont want to confront anyone about it because it might be just me, and maybe im thinking of myself too much, still i dont feel very supported, but maybe im asking too much. I dont know if they have offended me inadvertently, or if im just being on the pity-pot and expecting too much from being a church member.
The bible says if your brother offends you to talk it over with them, but i really dont know if its my own personal issue (too sensitive) or if they truly offended me. but i do have an atittude problem and i dont know what to do about it. or if these are red flags and i need to look elsewhere or what.
maybe i should just go to church for hearing the Word of God and not worry about these other personal issues.. but i feel like looking for another church. maybe i need to stay and work thru these problems in order to grow.
but in the meantime i have an attitude and i dont want to bring bitterness in with these otherwise nice people. I have been keeping all this to myself and God so far.
when i joined the church a few month ago i was really feeling positive and hopeful and then now that i've gotten to know them, all the human frailties have come out, and now im disappointed. i dont know if i should stick with it and work thru or leave. my attitude went totally 360 turn around. reality bites! but they were nice to me at first and i was made to feel welcome, but since then it has dropped off, i guess when your a newcomer people are freindly but then later on just settle down, and now the honeymoon is over :(
i just dont know what to think about all this.
_____________________________
I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:24:54 AM
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siapa
Posts: 96
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
.... my attitude went totally 360 turn around. reality bites! .....
If it is 360 turn around..then, that's OK. You stick with your position (one full turn around). If it's 180 degree then...that's another story. God bless.
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:30:52 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1897
Joined: 9/26/2007
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First of all, IMA_CHRISTIAN, I'm sorry you were sick. I hope you're feeling better now.
Second, think of church as a hospital for sinners. I don't know how God puts up with any of us. We are selfish. We are clickish. We are thoughtless and oblivious to the hurts around us. We are pitiful and lame.
What you are seeing is that we are sinners. God uses hard times to shape us, and promises the end will be good and that His purpose is to make us like Jesus, who willingly died of torture to save someone else. A lot of someone elses. See Romans 8: 28,29. His thoughts were towards others, not Himself. He gave and gave. Sinners take and take.
You can't change other people, but you can pray that God will bless them. Then you take steps to bless them yourself, because it's part of God's plan:
8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;[a] 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Pet. 3
So, they are miserable wretches. No surprise there. Go to another church and you'll find... miserable wretches. Come to my church, and you'll find me. Miserable wretch. 3000 years ago, King David called himself a worm. He understood.
Turn to God, confess your own selfishness (if you are human, you're selfish. Nothing personal, it's true of all of us), thank God for forgiving you, and ask Him what He wants you to do. You already know your trials are to make you like Jesus, so learn more about Him. Read your Bible every day. 1 Pet. 1:22 says we are to fervently love the brethren (and sistern) so think of ways to do that. Call them when they are sick. Pray for them if they exclude you from their little cliques, that God will bless them. Find ways to give to them, even if it's just opening a door for a person with laden arms, or smile at someone who may secretly be longing for a little kindness.
Show them what a Christian looks like - maybe one person will be encouraged to step up to God's plate and obey Him better. Be a giver, not just a taker. In an ideal world, we give and take with grace and gracious words. Learn how and show them how by example. Pray like crazy, and thank God He's forgiven you. You might just start something at your church! I'm praying today you will. God bless you, dear one. (((Hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:46:51 AM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
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AH! i knew it was me with the issue. thats why i kept it between me and God... i really dont want to hurt someone's feelings if it were a matter of me just being sensitive.
yah your right i need to do the things for the other people that i felt bad not getting myself.. i just dont know what to make about things sometime.
at least i know its not just this one particular church, but human frailties are everywhere so if i go somewhere else there will be other frailties there too.
i guess this is what it means when they say "there is no perfect church"
_____________________________
I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:48:39 AM
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missourinative
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If I ever found a perfect church, I wouldn't be allowed in....... 
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 11:59:17 AM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
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yikes! maybe im not that great of a person and so maybe thats why. i mean maybe i dont deserve them or something like that.. maybe i haven't been too nice either my own self.. and now with this bitter attitude!!!! wow ... i need to look in the mirror more and see the face looking back at me.
ok you know im sorry, i get overly critical at times and when that happens things get magnified.. i'm gonna hang in there.
_____________________________
I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 12:13:23 PM
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rgod
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Your decision to stick with it and also to take a hard look at yourself shows a lot of growth and maturity on your part. Continue to reach out and trust that God will provide all of your needs as they arise - from wherever it will come. I don't think that it is a case that you don't deserve the people in your church. Everyone is on an even playing field and we all have to combat a lot of different things. Just try to love them (or rather, let the Lord love them through you) and lift the critical part of you up to Jesus. We all have different parts of us that we need to ask the Lord to help us with. You sound like you are on the right track.
< Message edited by rgod -- 8/27/2008 12:21:26 PM >
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 12:22:18 PM
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sparkleingsnow
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IMA_CHRISTIAN, I'm sending you lots of hugs.
 Hugs
We all have a need to feel loved, wanted, needed. And where should we exspect to have those needs met (other than in the arms of Christ) more than in the fellowship of our church family? But the church is the people. And the people are fallible, being still in the flesh. Even Paul cried out about his desire to be like Jesus, but still being in the flesh.
deermousie's post just blew me away and says it all. About how we should respond to this. We are all in different places in our walk with the Lord. Some don't understand about loving others yet, or need to grow in this area.
As far as staying with your church or finding another, I can't tell you. Seek the Lord's will in this. It seems to me that some churches do a better job of showing love and meeting each others needs, than others. Perhaps as deermousie suggested, you can help your church to grow in this area, both as individuals and as a church body.
God bless you, IMA_CHRISTIAN.
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
within me, bless his holy name.
Psalm 103:1
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 12:31:34 PM
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sparkleingsnow
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I just saw your last post:
quote:
yikes! maybe im not that great of a person and so maybe thats why. i mean maybe i dont deserve them or something like that.. maybe i haven't been too nice either my own self.. and now with this bitter attitude!!!! wow ... i need to look in the mirror more and see the face looking back at me.
Of course we all need to look in the mirror. To let the Lord show us where we fall short, to continue to grow. But no way do you not deserve to be treated with love. Your a precious child of God. Love others, and love yourself through Christ.
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
within me, bless his holy name.
Psalm 103:1
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 12:43:26 PM
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deliveredarling
Posts: 1982
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I think we are all capable of getting these kinds of attitudes. Sometimes we just feel like it's all about us. When we are in that mode, we are not approachable. We expect others to KNOW something is going on with us, (and we don't consider that they might have something going on with them too) expect them to be mind readers. What we need to look at is, If I feel this way, what can I do to help ease it in this area.
If I feel lonely, I don't need to wait and see if someone calls me, I CAN call to check on them.
If I am in a sour mood, I CAN do something to change it. (Hold every thought captive, turn on some praise music, check out some flowers)
Other people are not responsible for how I feel. I am responsible for how I feel and what I can do about it.
I can wallow in it or I can break free from it.
So can you!
_____________________________
"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light."
Luke 8:16
http://www.myspace.com/egaip
Come visit
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 2:11:45 PM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
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wow thank you all.. sometimes i just dont know what to make of all this junk in my head! i like hearing from you all because i just dont know what to do or think sometiems.
_____________________________
I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 4:01:54 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1897
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
yah your right i need to do the things for the other people that i felt bad not getting myself.. i just dont know what to make about things sometime.
You get it, IMA_CHRISTIAN. But you're right, it's hard to know what to do sometimes. I will sometimes ask myself, "If I were in their shoes, what would I want someone to do for me?" It's hard to know what's in a person's head, but we can try. God knows what they need, and He might tell us.
This works on several levels. To those of us who had neglectful or abusive childhoods, we can give our kids what we never had, too. God gives grace for better lives.
I am impressed by your gracious and mature response to this. (((Hugs))) to you, IMA_CHRISTIAN!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 4:22:42 PM
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SurpassingPeace
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IMA_CHRISTIAN, I am sending big hugs your way. I am sorry you were hurt by self involved people at a time you were already down. Deermousie so often gives right on advice and this time is no exception. I know from experience because I was in your exact situation. I went through a really rough time after I had my dd. I was exhausted, depressed, lonely, all the things necessary for one grand pity party. I asked for help and only a couple of people responded from my church. I was so deflated. Through prayer and some amazing quiet time with God I finally realized that I was no different than the rest of my church! When things were going well in my life I was completely caught up. Oh, I meant to do things but I just got too busy. Then and there I decided to change. I started giving. I wrote notes of encouragement, would bake, give a call out of the blue and make sure I didn't mention my own problems, and just in general sought out how I could help someone else no matter how small. I really reached out. The amazing thing was my attitude changed! I started seeing so much more blessing in my life. I finally realized that when I focused on me it seemed pretty bleak but when I focused on others my life was just better. It is a cliche but it is really true that it is better to give than receive.
We are all wretched sinners. It is only by the grace of God and through His light that we can ever be something more. But with Him the body of Christ can be amazing. I pray you will find your life full of blessings
Karen
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 7:13:55 PM
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TheBibleTRUTH
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It is always the person who does the giving who gets more blessed then the person doing the receiving. The more you give and love your brothers, the more you get rewarded for it in heaven.
Giving is an integral part of God's great design for this world. The trees give off oxygen while we give them carbon dioxide. Animals eat crops and their poop helps fertilize the ground to grow more crops. The same principle goes for tithing (abundant sharing), as you give, you get more in return.
Giving is built into the very nature of the world and also us as people. People who only take are generally very miserable and aren't very profitable. The Dead Sea is dead because it has no outlet to give, only an inlet to take. If you think about it, God has everything he could ever want, so what can we do for God? Well we can love him and also we can love his people! Loving God's people is a very important thing to God and he always notices it.
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My best advice to you is to keep on giving and giving with a cheerful heart, and even if nobody notices how loving and how giving you are, God does. That is really all that matters.
God bless you in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ.
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 8:47:29 PM
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SonInMe1
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From: my mom by God
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I kinda...don't like the attention. When my pastor's wife called me to see why I had missed a couple weeks, I was blown away. I'd never expected...anyone to notice. I didn't expect any attention esspecially in a church with four or five hundred members.
I think God does these things. What we need, He arranges. I was surprised someone called because I did not expect it. You were disappointed they did not call...and we both learned some good lessons.
Persoanlly I have found fellowship begins with....fellowship. What I mean by that is being involved...will get you involved. Its about relationships and that starts...with us. Want friends? Act friendly.
Like I siad I'm more the other way....I don't really look for people's attentions. My "best" christian moments is when I do a work for the Lord, esspecially when it involves others, and no one knows I did it. To me...that...is sweet.
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 10:14:24 PM
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the_mom
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From: Seattle, WA
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Dear Ima Christian:
I don't think that it's out of line to expect the people in your church to care about you. After all, that's how Christians are supposed to treat each other.
You might examine the culture of the church you are attending. The culture of the church I belong to is very insular. A large number of people really don't care if they have new members; they only care about their friends. If you can stick it out long enough, maybe you are accepted.
In my church, I stuck around, and I have made a lot of friends. I'm glad I stuck it out.
But I had to get over the fact that, at first, I wasn't really wanted in the choir, and choir members told me so. They wanted my voice, just not me.
I had to be understanding when I got divorced, and nobody offered a shoulder or a friendly ear. The only person who asked my kids if they needed someone to talk to was the pastor. When I was in law school, I didn't attend for almost three years, and nobody called me.
But, it worked out for me, because I'm stubborn, I guess. But so many people have come and gone, and they just stopped coming because they felt like they were invisible when they attended church. Of course, when they stopped coming, the only person who called was the pastor, because that's his job.
Some of us are trying to change this, but we are like farm lights on the North Dakota prairie -- a welcome sight, but few and far between. I'm working with a young woman now who wanted to leave and never come back after someone on the praise team stuck her fingers in her ears while this young woman was singing.
Needless to say, our church is shrinking, shrinking, shrinking.
Anyway, this purpose of this depressing post is to say that, in my opinion, the problem might not be you or your expectations. The problem may be the church culture.
Because you, Ima Christian, are a precious child of God, beautiful to behold.
The mom
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 10:16:03 PM
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Dancre
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Sometimes folks don't call when someone is not at church b/c they really don't want to bother you or think you were busy with something. It's not that they don't like you, it's just that they can't read your mind. You can call them also when you need prayer. Hey, my back's hurting me, can you pray for me? sort of thing. It sounds like God is bringing this icky stuff up in you so He can burn it off, like what folks do with silver. Burn off the ick so the silver remains. Let God slosh this junk off of you. you'll be better for it. :)
quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
AH! i knew it was me with the issue. thats why i kept it between me and God... i really dont want to hurt someone's feelings if it were a matter of me just being sensitive.
yah your right i need to do the things for the other people that i felt bad not getting myself.. i just dont know what to make about things sometime.
at least i know its not just this one particular church, but human frailties are everywhere so if i go somewhere else there will be other frailties there too.
i guess this is what it means when they say "there is no perfect church"
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/27/2008 10:22:25 PM
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Luvinme
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From: Ontario
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I know what you mean. I have churched hopped for many years trying to find that perfect church where everyone cares and pays lots of attention to me, but it just hasn't happen yet  Church is just as tainted as the seed that taints us all. I guess what I do now is try not to expect too much from people - from church aside from a healthy service. There should be at least one or two people you can meet who are really genuine and mature in their faith, but many seem to be strumming along and I am not sure if they really want more than just a Sunday service every now and then let alone getting to know someone or see inquire how they are doing. It is also hard meeting people when you just see them once a week if that. I know it gets very lonely, but persevere my friend, and God gives us anything we ask in His name. So, tell people how you are feeling since maybe they don't know and ask them to call or go out with you. It is difficult I know, I am there too. And people constantly say they will and they don't. Hard to believe when reaching out is what the church preaches, but few actually practice it. Also, please talk to your minister about those concerns, since if you're not getting good teaching that might be a sign to try somewhere else.
I also see that secular church is a far cry from the way it is discribed in the Bible. In the new Testament I understand church to be more of a state of mind. Where two are more are gathered their I am in the midths of them. I try to get what ever I can out of church without expectation, but I really enjoy any intimate relations I have with believers (like even this blog), and to me this is also church aside from the big fancy building.
_____________________________
As a sinner we have to accept that it is not easy to truly touch the will of God unless we have experiences that challenge the depths of our own will to show whose strength we decide to have faith in to overcome it.
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 2:32:41 AM
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Thessa
Posts: 811
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
I dont know if i have a bad attitude or if circumstances are telling me something that are red flags.. im disappointed in my church, as a member, i dont feel very supported. i dont want to bore you with a long essay, but i also feel kinda dissatisifed, and i dont know if its me or what. we are a small church that Im a member of ..and i have a question -
what do you think about church members calling each other on the phone to see how they are feeling, especially if the other members know i am sick. or is this too much to ask? maybe no one does this anymore. last week i was so sick with a horrible back spasms, i stayed home to rest, but also i stayed home another few days from church just to see if anyone would call me to see if they cared. no one did. but when i went back to church the other day several people came up to me and were supportive and a couple of them said they prayed for me. is this all i should expect? maybe im thinking too selfishly and wanting more attention than what i should get as an adult.
what about expectations from other church members, when i needed help, only two people offered to help which i appreciate. but then maybe i just happened to pick a bad day when no one was truly available. i feel im helping somewhat, but not getting help in return, so i feel like a giver but not getting it back. maybe thats a selfish attitude on my part and maybe i should just worry about doing good and not expecting to get repaid. (but in the meantime, my feelings got hurt somewhat).
i also feel some aspects about the church service and the church itself are bugging me. they are not doctrinal issues, but just various idiocyncracies which drive me nuts.
I have been praying about it, and i dont want to confront anyone about it because it might be just me, and maybe im thinking of myself too much, still i dont feel very supported, but maybe im asking too much. I dont know if they have offended me inadvertently, or if im just being on the pity-pot and expecting too much from being a church member.
The bible says if your brother offends you to talk it over with them, but i really dont know if its my own personal issue (too sensitive) or if they truly offended me. but i do have an atittude problem and i dont know what to do about it. or if these are red flags and i need to look elsewhere or what.
maybe i should just go to church for hearing the Word of God and not worry about these other personal issues.. but i feel like looking for another church. maybe i need to stay and work thru these problems in order to grow.
but in the meantime i have an attitude and i dont want to bring bitterness in with these otherwise nice people. I have been keeping all this to myself and God so far.
when i joined the church a few month ago i was really feeling positive and hopeful and then now that i've gotten to know them, all the human frailties have come out, and now im disappointed. i dont know if i should stick with it and work thru or leave. my attitude went totally 360 turn around. reality bites! but they were nice to me at first and i was made to feel welcome, but since then it has dropped off, i guess when your a newcomer people are freindly but then later on just settle down, and now the honeymoon is over :(
i just dont know what to think about all this.
No offense meant but to be honest with you i think you are focusing on the wrong aspect of going to church in the first place.
Who cares if no one called you to see if you are okay? God knows you and Hes the only one that matters in the long run.
I think that if you are ever expecting people to fall over you each time you dont show up at church then you should realize that wont happen. I think the only thing you should be asking urself is 'why do i go to church in the first place?' If your answer is anything but TO WORSHIP GOD then i dont think you should go at all.
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 1:12:41 PM
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JesusFan
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I can identify with what you're saying, my husband and I have been attending our church for 11 years and have felt the same way at times. It seems like people call us only when they want something, as in "Could you help in the nursery this Sunday" or something of that nature, but never "Hey, just called to see how you're doing." We have been part of several small groups that eventually stopped meeting for one reason or another. It seems like after we stopped meeting, a lot of the members of the group haven't stayed that close to each other. But on the other hand, there are people we still feel close to, even though they don't call or invite us over on a regular basis. Several times we've considered looking for another church, but somehow we're still at this one. So far, I guess that's where God wants us. I'm not saying the people in our church aren't friendly because they are, very much so. I think it's mainly that people get so involved in their own lives that they don't take time to communicate with each other outside of Sundays and small group meetings, or other church activities. If I'm going to be completely honest my husband and I are pretty much the same way. I just pray that we will find a few lasting friendships out of the many people who have passed through our lives. I have been blessed the past few years with being a part of an evening ladies' bible study group and these ladies have made me feel cared for. We share prayer requests, and I do occasionally get an e-mail from one lady or another from the group inquiring about how I'm doing.
Sorry to ramble on so much. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I understand your feelings, having those feelings doesn't make you a horrible person, and that you need to hang in there are show others that you care. I pray that you'll find at least one person in your church who you can really be close to and form a lasting friendship with.
_____________________________
"God helps those who know they are helpless."
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 1:46:18 PM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
Posts: 1662
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Thessa
quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
II think that if you are ever expecting people to fall over you each time you dont show up at church then you should realize that wont happen. I think the only thing you should be asking urself is 'why do i go to church in the first place?' If your answer is anything but TO WORSHIP GOD then i dont think you should go at all.
yeah i was thinkin that too. however, in our church if we want to get involved and get to belong to a "community" then we have to extend ourselves and get to know each other. right? and i mean the culture of the church is to get to know each other, i think. one of my goals was to be involved in a church and the way to do that is to get to know each other, however, seems like maybe time will have to let that happen. i dont want to feel like an outsider, although me being single is in an environment with a lot of families, and seems like the ones with family are just logistically busy with thier family and do not have time for a single person like me.. i mean for practical reasons for one. maybe phone calls are not the way to go. i have thought about sending emails if i want to send off some cheer or something, not phone calls.
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I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 1:51:25 PM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
Posts: 1662
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ORIGINAL: JesusFan
I can identify with what you're saying, my husband and I have been attending our church for 11 years and have felt the same way at times. It seems like people call us only when they want something, as in "Could you help in the nursery this Sunday" or something of that nature, but never "Hey, just called to see how you're doing." We have been part of several small groups that eventually stopped meeting for one reason or another. It seems like after we stopped meeting, a lot of the members of the group haven't stayed that close to each other. But on the other hand, there are people we still feel close to, even though they don't call or invite us over on a regular basis. Several times we've considered looking for another church, but somehow we're still at this one. So far, I guess that's where God wants us. I'm not saying the people in our church aren't friendly because they are, very much so. I think it's mainly that people get so involved in their own lives that they don't take time to communicate with each other outside of Sundays and small group meetings, or other church activities. If I'm going to be completely honest my husband and I are pretty much the same way. I just pray that we will find a few lasting friendships out of the many people who have passed through our lives. I have been blessed the past few years with being a part of an evening ladies' bible study group and these ladies have made me feel cared for. We share prayer requests, and I do occasionally get an e-mail from one lady or another from the group inquiring about how I'm doing.
Sorry to ramble on so much. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I understand your feelings, having those feelings doesn't make you a horrible person, and that you need to hang in there are show others that you care. I pray that you'll find at least one person in your church who you can really be close to and form a lasting friendship with.
yes really ironic because my personality is really an introvert, and im trying to actually force myself to come out of my shell, so that i can get to know them and they get to know me. a few weeks ago, i was all gung ho and decided to take the church directory and call some people to send some cheer and exhortation and maybe pray with some or share some bible psalms or something especially to one lady who is recovering from something .. .well anyway i got ahold of no one, and no one called me back.. then when i was out sick for these last couple weeks no one called me. it kinda hurt my feelings, like wow, i guess i dont feel very important to anyone. thats just my initial reaction. so i prayed about it. they did tell me when i came back the other day they were praying for me, so that was good. i guess i have certain expectations right or wrong about what it means to be a church member, and the interactions to and from each other. maybe with real life i should not expect much. i am trying to sort out all these things that got stirred up in me including am i being selfish, naive, reasonable, or what.
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I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 2:45:15 PM
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JesusFan
Posts: 95
Joined: 4/15/2005
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yes really ironic because my personality is really an introvert, and im trying to actually force myself to come out of my shell, so that i can get to know them and they get to know me. a few weeks ago, i was all gung ho and decided to take the church directory and call some people to send some cheer and exhortation and maybe pray with some or share some bible psalms or something especially to one lady who is recovering from something .. .well anyway i got ahold of no one, and no one called me back.. then when i was out sick for these last couple weeks no one called me. it kinda hurt my feelings, like wow, i guess i dont feel very important to anyone. thats just my initial reaction. so i prayed about it. they did tell me when i came back the other day they were praying for me, so that was good. i guess i have certain expectations right or wrong about what it means to be a church member, and the interactions to and from each other. maybe with real life i should not expect much. i am trying to sort out all these things that got stirred up in me including am i being selfish, naive, reasonable, or what.
You can feel encouraged that people were praying for you. And they let you know in person, so I guess that can make up for not calling. I like to email friends to let them know I'm thinking about them, but I'm terrible about calling on the phone. Just laziness on my part.
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"God helps those who know they are helpless."
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 2:48:40 PM
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JesusFan
Posts: 95
Joined: 4/15/2005
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i dont want to feel like an outsider, although me being single is in an environment with a lot of families, and seems like the ones with family are just logistically busy with thier family and do not have time for a single person like me..
That's another one I can identify with. I'm married but my husband and I are older and don't have kids, and he feels that that has something to do with the fact that we don't get a lot of invitations to do stuff outside of regular church activities.
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"God helps those who know they are helpless."
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RE: I have an attitude - 8/28/2008 4:13:36 PM
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Thessa
Posts: 811
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ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
yeah i was thinkin that too. however, in our church if we want to get involved and get to belong to a "community" then we have to extend ourselves and get to know each other. right? and i mean the culture of the church is to get to know each other, i think. one of my goals was to be involved in a church and the way to do that is to get to know each other, however, seems like maybe time will have to let that happen. i dont want to feel like an outsider, although me being single is in an environment with a lot of families, and seems like the ones with family are just logistically busy with thier family and do not have time for a single person like me.. i mean for practical reasons for one. maybe phone calls are not the way to go. i have thought about sending emails if i want to send off some cheer or something, not phone calls.
I understand what ur saying. We ALL like to feel needed and missed if we are gone from somewhere we are usually at. I didnt mean to be harsh before if i sounded that way, but i was stating the truth as i saw it by what you wrote.
I mean i know you go to church to worship God. Thats obvious. But rather than worrying about what others do just focus on what YOU do and can do, instead. Dont be like them. If one of them are gone send them emails and call them. You will come out looking like the winner in all ways, including in the eyes of God.
But dont worry about them or what they do. I think maybe you are taking this too personally. Ill bet this Sunday when you sit down in that church there will be a few well wishers. And if not then just close ur eyes and thank God for making you well and pray for the ones that dont remember ur hurt. I think it all begins with us and how we see people and how we see ourselves and how we can handle situations that arise. God gave us the strength to withstand anything.
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for t | | |
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