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[Poll]
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Pregnancy before marriage poll
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| One of my daughters has gotten pregnant before marriage. |
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| Two or more of my daughters have gotten pregnant. |
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| I was pregnant before marriage. |
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| I was conceived outside of marriage. |
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| My son or sons have gotten a girl pregnant before marriage. |
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| I got a girl pregnant outside of marriage. |
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| I got more than one girl pregnant outside of marriage. |
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Total Votes : 58
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(last vote on : 10/6/2008 9:44:18 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/3/2008 12:53:12 AM
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Thessa
Posts: 811
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dianetavegia
Thessa, there are several threads where posters have condemned the Palin's and all other mothers of pregnant girls. My point is that sexual sin is found within good Christian families, as is any other type sin, and the choices of the children cannot be blamed on 'bad parenting' in most instances.
Some can say, There but by the grace of God, go I. I can only say, been there, with our daughter.
Reminds me of the rain that falls on the just and unjust. God is not a respecter of persons. It can happen to any of us!
I admire the Palins and think they will be greatly blessed. God can and will use this child and baby Trig.
Yes i know and i also think its revolting for people to say what they are saying about her family. I know you support her family.
God gave them their babies for a reason and i trust God knows what hes doing. In every situation.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/3/2008 1:02:20 AM
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Preludeian
Posts: 66
Joined: 5/19/2008
From: Portland Metro Oregon
Status: offline
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I was concieved outside of marriage. My bio father and mom never married either. This was all BEFORE my my mom turned to God in her life. IMA that she had my older sister as well under the same circumstances.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/3/2008 9:51:06 PM
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Bevik
Posts: 67
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline
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Christian tend to be mean to people that have gotten pregnant before marriage or mean to poeple who's child has gotten pregnant before marriage. It isn't just Christians that do this. Look at the Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. She is getting criticized because of her pregnant daughter.
Why isn't there an option for "None of the Above?'
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/3/2008 10:37:14 PM
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ladyichigo
Posts: 572
Joined: 10/23/2007
From: Honolulu
Status: offline
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I conceived my firstborn out of wedlock. I was a Christian then too, but I wasn't walking with the Lord as I should have been and made some poor choices. God used the conception of this child to teach me humility, and even now through this 6 year old, the Lord continues to teach me patience, humility, and meekness.
_____________________________
Mari
I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/4/2008 12:16:30 AM
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JBagley
Posts: 6
Joined: 4/28/2008
From: Southeast Texas, United States
Status: offline
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Ahem, if I may:
I was born and raised in a Christian atmosphere, yet as I became a man I made my own choices away from the faith. I married, had two daughters while serving as an active-duty soldier, and my wife divorced me while I was deployed to marry her cousin's estranged husband. Needless to say, I questioned not only my religion but my way of life. I returned and found myself without my children and utterly alone.
Fast-forward two years. I met a wonderful woman and still living OUTSIDE the faith, got her pregnant. I married her, not because it was "the right thing" but because I loved her. I will not apologize for the miracle that is my third daughter, but I do know that I sinned against God. I have repented for this, and since turned my life to Christ.
I battle with sin every day of my life. I am fallible, and I am human. I do not make excuses for my actions, for they are my decisions alone. My Lord forgave me with the blood of Jesus spilt to absolve my sins.
To those who condemn people for making mistakes, it is not for you to decide. John 8:3-7 states, "The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
I thought as Christians we were to embrace our brothers and sisters and attempt to help bring them away from their sins, not condemn their actions and push them away.
_____________________________
"A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you." Psalms 91:7
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/4/2008 7:11:04 PM
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Dancre
Posts: 1289
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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I was thinking the same thing, CM. You turn on the TV and the Gossip Girls are going at it like a couple of dogs. Worse yet, some YA books are just sex, sex, sex. Schools hand out condoms, then shrug and say, what's wrong with that? Is it any wonder people today are having sex? It's practically thrown on them by society. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm glad I don't have kids. I can't imagine how hard it is to try to keep them pure in an impure world. :(
quote:
ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga
One thing I see is that young people are completely confused about right and wrong in sexual issues. They have turned to TV and other students for teachers. The Torah clearly states that sex outside of marriage is wrong, but we have ignored it. We have paid for that for generations and will for the generations to come. We have sacrificed our children on the altar biblical ignorance.
When I was a girl, going with my first husband, we just didn't get caught. With the second, we didn't fall into that error.
I tried to teach my children and step-children what was right, but what they learned from the church teens and the Sunday school teachers where we went was the opposite of what I taught. The result was that they saw me as "old-fashioned" and even laughed at us when I told them some of the things we didn't do -- like French kiss -- before marriage. Sad.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/5/2008 1:52:21 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 6912
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dancre
I was thinking the same thing, CM. You turn on the TV and the Gossip Girls are going at it like a couple of dogs. Worse yet, some YA books are just sex, sex, sex. Schools hand out condoms, then shrug and say, what's wrong with that? Is it any wonder people today are having sex? It's practically thrown on them by society. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm glad I don't have kids. I can't imagine how hard it is to try to keep them pure in an impure world. :(
It ain't easy! I have two sons (23 & 19) and two daughters (21 & 15). Fortunately, they are still virgins. However, they aren't as pure as they should be.
I was pregnant the first time I got married. The second time I got married, I wasn't pregnant but we had a two year old together.
ETA- BTW, I was conceived out of wedlock too. In fact, my bio father has never even met me.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/5/2008 1:08:03 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 458
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
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I think it is clear that God would have no one stand before Him and proclaim innocence. If there is to be grace, there has to be sin. While the church should always be a repenting one, it should never tolerate sin in its members for as some have already hinted, some have made there way secretly into our midst and as wolves in sheeps clothing are devouring our children and the weak. This may be acceptable for packs of animals but not for men and women of faith. Sexual predators exist. What is the church doing to prevent them from devouring its members?
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 12:55:24 AM
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slimon11
Posts: 188
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline
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I think it is safe to say that no one can understand what a single parent goes through or what is going through the mind of the unwed and pregnant woman other than someone who has walked in her shoes. What I see in the threads you've read is lack of understanding. The same in the church, they just don't understand what it is like.
I think when some of us give birth, we look at our babies and think: How can something so pure come from someone so impure? No matter what situation our children are born into, they are always a gift from God!
Personally, I knew I wasn’t mature enough to raise a child on my own so, I finally turned to God and finally got on His path. Who knows what would have happened to me if didn't get pregnant; if continued on my own path, nothing good I am sure.
I agree that sin is sin and, I also know there is no temptation that we cannot overcome with the power of Chirst. But, you never know what a person has been through, that is why we leave the judging and condeming to God. For example,sexual abuse as a child can affect a person for a lifetime, even a saved person. Some gererational curses are very hard to break. We don't even know the full life story when it come to our closest family members or see the full picture but, God does.
I also believe in God’s eyes, I am right where I am supposed to be because of both my failures and my successes. He uses everything we’ve been through to help others and further His kingdom; even our ugliest sins, if we let Him.
I think single parents can be some of the most powerful servants of the LORD, they are often blessed with compassion, understanding and wisdom that they gained through their experiences as a single parent.
< Message edited by slimon11 -- 9/6/2008 1:03:42 AM >
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 9:16:48 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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Could you please add an option for none of the above? Nobody in my immediate family has gotten pregnant outside of marriage, although I have friends that did.
_____________________________
<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 9:54:19 AM
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makarizo
Posts: 2978
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
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I have never condemned a single person for getting pregnant..... if ever a person needed Jesus, it would be then.
I think it's a shame that a girl can grow up in a Christian home, surrounded by the Truth, by prayer, love, a place where devotions are available, sharing of faith, talking about the bible, learning principles, to learn about the meaning of marriage and intimacy, and the importance of abstinence, being equipped for a higher walk, becoming a pillar of faith...................................
and none of that happens.... in fact it is all "put" somewhere and replaced with physical intimacy.
how does this happen??
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 11:50:35 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3576
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
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It happens because there are young men -- who rarely carry a burden over their participation in the sin.
It happens because parents and churches concentrate on the young women and not the young men as well.
It happens because sin is in the world.
It happens because we hand our children over to the "world" for their education and do not hold up our end of their greatest education at home.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 11:53:14 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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I've even had a homeschooled friend get pregnant out of wedlock. She has an awesome, godly family. She was raised with what's right, but she still made a choice that was wrong. I can understand how it happens.
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/6/2008 6:34:23 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 998
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
Status: offline
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There wasn't a selection for me in the poll. But, I will say that I do not understand the difference between Palin's daughter's sin and the gal that get's an abortion's sin. Sin is sin. Do we look down our noses at certain sins (like abortion), when we ourselves are guilty? I think it's high time we get off of our high horses. That we really look at US politics for what it is: politics. It's high time we realize that politicians are sinful men, whether they wear a donkey or an elephant on their hat. We need to stop letting them invade our churches with their rhetoric and preach the unfallible word of God which is ABLE to save our souls. The man that performs the abortion is just as guilty as the guy who get's the girl pregnant.
And I don't know about you, but its pretty dern embarrassing as a Christian in america, when someone claiming to be a "christian" has a fall like this. It's not a double standard, it'a just . . . WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT! If the salt has lost its savor what good is it?
We are all fallen men/women who need a savior. And no amount of legislation is going to fix that. I think our current politics bare us out on this point.
Let's get back to Jesus Christ--He's the only one that will truly make us able to live out purity in our lives.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/9/2008 4:22:18 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 6912
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
Could you please add an option for none of the above? Nobody in my immediate family has gotten pregnant outside of marriage, although I have friends that did.
I too, would've liked to have seen an option for those who remained virgins until they were married and an option for those who were not virgins but didn't conceive a child before marriage.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 9/9/2008 11:05:40 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3576
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
There wasn't a selection for me in the poll. But, I will say that I do not understand the difference between Palin's daughter's sin and the gal that get's an abortion's sin. Sin is sin. Do we look down our noses at certain sins (like abortion), when we ourselves are guilty?
Well, I'll admit that I do see a difference between someone who gives birth and another who kills. Both can be forgiven by G-d, but only because He is G-d. We, as believers, tend to try to see all sin as the same, but God Himself sees a difference between sins and is tougher on some sins than on others.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
The man that performs the abortion is just as guilty as the guy who get's the girl pregnant.
The person who performs the abortion is as guilty as the man who gets a woman pregnant, and the woman is just as guilty if she willingly submitted to the man who got her pregnant. But the woman is guilty again when she has the abortion.
But this thread is not about abortion.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
And I don't know about you, but its pretty dern embarrassing as a Christian in america, when someone claiming to be a "christian" has a fall like this. It's not a double standard, it'a just . . . WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT! If the salt has lost its savor what good is it?
We are all fallen men/women who need a savior. And no amount of legislation is going to fix that. I think our current politics bare us out on this point.
Let's get back to Jesus Christ--He's the only one that will truly make us able to live out purity in our lives.
But with all of this I agree. We, as believers, are supposed to live in the world but not be a part of it; rather, as believers, we are supposed to be light to the world, to change it by bringing others to Him. But reality, statistics, and our history says that we have not been light. We have, instead, been changed by the world. It shows in our character, in our dress, and in our obvious commitment to SIN.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 10:36:19 AM
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lightbeamrider
Posts: 79
Joined: 6/6/2008
Status: offline
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The standard is celibacy until marriage, christian man to christian woman. Parents, who want the best for their children do not want to see their daughters sexually active before marriage. Especially if the man she falls for is (and I am trying to be kind here) not worthy of her. In ancient cultures much of this was avoided because marriages were arranged earlier before our age of consent. Country singer Loretta Lynn married at 13 and had her first child at 14. By the time she was 18 she had 4 children. She stayed married to her husband until he died. Biologically young females are adult far before the age of 18. In our culture many just cannot cheat their biology and fall into fornication before marriage is even an legal option for them. I am not suggesting we lower the age of consent to 13. (This is for those fools out there who may suspect i am some sort of pedophile) I don't like to get too personal here but it is one of the things that has always baffled me about the Christian Faith. Why as a young man am i cursed with such an active libido when i can do nothing about it until married? (when i was young) The Christian cultures blueprint today seems to be for females to get through college and then marry which puts her at around 22 years old and still a virgin. For many it is far easier to get through college than it is to remain a virgin until 22 especially if they fall in love. It's not an impossible standard but we certainly set the bar high. Scripture tells us we can do all things through Him who strengthens us.
Look, I don't know where I am going with all this? Just some observations.
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 11:27:25 AM
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Focusing
Posts: 5989
Status: offline
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quote:
I can't imagine how hard it is to try to keep them pure in an impure world. :(
quote:
but what they learned from the church teens
My son is now in junior high, and this is an issue going on right now. Our church is small and they are grouping the junior high kids with the senior high kids who are having issues (sex, drugs, alcohol), which I have a problem with. I am very concerned that my son (and friends' children that are the same age) are going to look to the older teens and think "Well, I guess this behavior is all a part of life and we will all do it" and not give this type of behavior a second thought. I spoke with our children's minister, and she is sensitive to this need and is working on creating a separate group for the junior high kids (major answer to prayer to say the least!). Meanwhile, she is keeping them separate from the senior high kids.
quote:
I think it is safe to say that no one can understand what a single parent goes through or what is going through the mind of the unwed and pregnant woman other than someone who has walked in her shoes. What I see in the threads you've read is lack of understanding. The same in the church, they just don't understand what it is like.
I think single parents can be some of the most powerful servants of the LORD, they are often blessed with compassion, understanding and wisdom that they gained through their experiences as a single parent.
Thank you slimon11 - so very true. Within the church, my biggest supporters in times of difficulty, my biggest helpers when I really need the help come from other single parents. How ironic! The ones with the least amount of time and resources are the very ones who give the most to help. The ones who are married and have more time to help are the very ones who do the least to help others. But that might just be the experiences I have seen ... in different churches and in different states. I get tired and frustrated by others looking down their noses for no reason other than I am "that divorced woman" and "single mother" and have many times wondered where is the compassion and love that I need from the brethren. *sigh*
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 11:34:56 AM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2454
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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I checked many of the choices.
Mother was pregnant with me when she and Dad married.
I was pregnant with my son when I married his dad.
My son has an 8 yr old conceived out of wedlock, my oldest DD has 2 children conceived before marriage (married father of 2nd child, he adopted 1st child), my #2 DD was pregnant and aborted.
My Mom was raised in a Christian home, I was raised in a Christian home.
Sometimes it just comes down to we are human and we sin.
Do I regret my actions?
Absolutely.
Have I confessed my sin(s) to God and sought His forgiveness?
Yes.
_____________________________
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 11:46:48 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5576
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
I get tired and frustrated by others looking down their noses for no reason other than I am "that divorced woman" and "single mother" and have many times wondered where is the compassion and love that I need from the brethren. *sigh*
Wow, I have never exsperienced the "Looking down" on a divorced person or a "Single mon' in all my years of ministry.
I have seen folks who were living an open lifestyle of sin not accepted in a Church body as one who was saved and living a Holy Sanctified life; and that is according to Scripture.
Church is for Christians. By definition Church is a gathering of the Saints, not a social group of folks who live in sin, but just maybe will become Christians in the future.
This "Evertone is welcome to be part of the Church; saved, lost, pagan or serial killer" is a common misinterpretaion of Scripture that has led to many problems in the modern Church.
The New Testament is the "Benchmark" for how we are to do "Church"; so we ought to use those Holy Spirit given guidelines. or else not call our gatherings "Church".
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 12:00:25 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5989
Status: offline
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RC, yes, it has been a struggle in my walk.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/4/2008 12:01:46 PM
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Memaw.
Posts: 2454
Joined: 1/29/2007
From: Sunflower State
Status: offline
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quote:
Wow, I have never exsperienced the "Looking down" on a divorced person or a "Single mon' in all my years of ministry.
RC,
My mother was divorced when she met my dad.
She had a daughter from that first marriage.
She was also removed from fellowship (by pastor) from the AoG church she had attended since childhood, even though her divorce was scriptural (he had an affair with her best friend which resulted in pregnancy.)
_____________________________
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.
Every generation has to learn how to protect and defend it, or it's gone
and gone for a long, long time."
Ronald Reagan
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RE: Pregnancy before marriage poll - 10/8/2008 9:07:00 PM
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prolifepj
Posts: 459
Joined: 9/12/2008
From: just over yonder
Status: offline
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Voted - can't say that I know of many families who have not in some way been directly connected to a Christian who messed up. PRAISE GOD FOR FORGIVENESS and REPENTANCE
-He who has been forgiven much, loves much-
_____________________________
Sho nuff honey chile - Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to!
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