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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/10/2008 10:23:33 PM
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nevaehs_gaze
Posts: 337
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: United States
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I personally feel that it is not what God would want, as I feel that since He calls a man and woman to be one in marriage, He should also lead them together as one in deciding a church home together. If both are not comfortable in a church, then they should search for a church that they both do feel comfortable in, as the are ONE.
But on the other hand, I can see where couples who do attend different churches come from. My parents have not gone to the same church for about five years now. My dad attends two churches (one for Sunday service, one for Wednesday service). Before then, my parents and my family all attended the same church because we were a "family"... but when us kids left home I guess my mom felt it was best to finally find a church she felt she belonged in. She left our family church and started attending a different church across town. My parents feel this is OK for them, as both are happy in their respective churches, and are being fed God's Word in a manner that each best receives it.
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/13/2008 8:37:09 AM
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sudden
Posts: 164
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
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Dear L:
I have 3 friends who attend different churches than their husbands the reason being that one spouse is Roman Catholic and the other is protestant. These friends have been married for 25 - 30 years now and it seems to have worked o.k. for them.
They do go to church together from time-to-time and on special occasions such as Christmas, Easter or when their kids have been in something special at the other's church.
I think that the main difference between their situation and yours is that in each instance...these arrangements were talked about BEFORE marraige. There was an understanding as to who would worship where and how and where the (eventual) children would go was handled prior to marraige.
It may be more difficult to change the "rules" midstream. Depends a lot on the flexibility of your spouse and children. Discuss with the other family members and listen carefully to what they say.
Yours for better worship,
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/13/2008 8:47:11 AM
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sudden
Posts: 164
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
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Dear Manda:
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kerryannism
The most important part is that all the individuals get what they need.
I thought church was about giving, not getting.
Indeed it is! You've hit the nail on the head! The other part of this equation.... the pastor is to feed the sheep. If this is not happening I think it prudent to leave rather than starve to death.
Yours for a big tummy,
(and a joyful heart)
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/13/2008 9:01:32 AM
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manda59
Posts: 5999
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sudden
.... the pastor is to feed the sheep. If this is not happening I think it prudent to leave rather than starve to death.
Actually, for me, it is the Holy Spirit who feeds me, therefore I will never starve to death. I can look for the touch of His Spirit in any church where the Gospel is preached, even if the human part of it is faulty or not done well.
My relationship with God is reliant on my own quiet times with Him, not on what is preached on at church. I personally would not like to be so reliant on men, because they will always let me down sooner or later, but God will never let me down.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/13/2008 12:07:28 PM
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lexie
Posts: 3055
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
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I attend the church my husband was attending before we met. He began attending this church because two of his brothers were in leadership at the church. It is important to me that we attend the same church, as a family for our children, and it is extremely important to my husband.
That being said, most in the church know that if it weren't for my husband, I would not still be attending the church. It has sound Biblical teaching, it is a very close-knit supportive church, but there are a few things that I need in my Christian walk that it lacks.
But my husband does not want to leave the church right now and I understand that. So I stay. But I look elsewhere for those needs to be filled. I know it probably sounds strange with me not giving much detail but I have been able to fill those needs outside of our church.
quote:
Actually, for me, it is the Holy Spirit who feeds me, therefore I will never starve to death. I can look for the touch of His Spirit in any church where the Gospel is preached, even if the human part of it is faulty or not done well.
Well-written.
_____________________________
I want to be more than an ordinary servant.
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/13/2008 6:19:15 PM
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sudden
Posts: 164
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
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Manda:
Good for your strong post!
[/quote]
I personally would not like to be so reliant on men, because they will always let me down sooner or later, but God will never let me down.
[/quote]
It would seem that you missed the point. I agree that men will let you down.
The point is that there are ministers who neglect their duty. It does not necessarily mean that one looks upon them as the only source of nourishment.
Yours for a joyful heart,
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/14/2008 12:52:16 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
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Isn't spiritual unity something a marriage needs?
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RE: Husband and Wife not going to same church - 9/14/2008 8:07:56 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3576
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
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For us, we have spiritual unity in the most important things, and it is growing all the time. When we married and were in the same church organization, it didn't seem that we had any more spiritual unity than we do now.
One of the neat things we are doing now, that we didn't do then, is that every Friday night, when dinner is ready, all our work and the mundane stuff comes to an end. This is the only time we use the dining room, and the table is set beautifully with our best and with fresh flowers. If it's just the two of us, I have special dishes that I purposely bought only in twos -- just ours, not to be shared. If we have someone over, then we use our other best dishes.
I have prepared a very nice meal with challah and sparkling grape juice (neither of us like wine), and the hot items are in the oven while the cold wait in the 'fridge. He sits down, I light the candles and say a prayer, then we read several Psalms together. He then reads the last chapter of Proverbs to me (or something similar), then I read Psalm 1 to him (or something similar). If we have company, this is their opportunity to bless each other and their children. We then bless the L-rd together in other readings, then I serve him the meal.
This is a precious time for us which has led us into taking time at night through the week to read a short passage of the words of Messiah together, then discuss them. We have both learned a whole lot from this, and it is a very special time.
We did nothing like this while together in the old church. We went to church, he sat on the platform while I sat in the audience, then he came down and fell asleep beside me in the audience while I kept poking him to wake him up.  That was about as spiritually together as we got while there.
For us, it hasn't been about attending in the same building or even at the same time. We come home from our places of worship and have something to talk about, to encourage one another, to pray about, to think about.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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