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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/23/2008 5:54:04 PM
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delete123
Posts: 937
Joined: 6/1/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pbaribeault
In this situation, I think Robert seriously contributed the problem.
The moral of the story is... let the parents manage their own kids
I agree with this poster. Jack jr's parents already set the rules. Robert should have allowed that "rule" to stand.
I've had many folks do this to me with my son, "Oh that's okay he can play with that!" "He can have it, I have let him play with it before!"
This has made it difficult when I tell my child, "NO!"
I even had the pastor at my last church do the same thing, "Oh that's alright!" I gave the look and it was immediately corrected.
Robert should have made jack jr listen to his parents, period. Robert doesn't have to deal with Jack Jr. after
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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/23/2008 6:33:07 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6385
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
I'd just prefer my child's party not be the scene of parents putting their foot down and causing their toddler to "meltdown" as some like to say around here. They should have removed the child all together if he couldn't calm down.
So you agree with Robert? That makes no sense. There probably would have been no meltdown if people had supported Jack Jr's parents instead of contradicting them in front of the poor, confused little kid.
If people would just leave parents alone, this world would be much easier to raise kids in.
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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/23/2008 11:55:24 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4228
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I believe Rich stated that this particular party wasn't the first time Jack Jr. has thrown his temper around. Whether or not Robert knew that, I have no idea. But if I was Robert and little Jack Jr. started screaming or crying, Robert might have felt like he needed to do whatever was necessary for his child to have a pleasant birthday party. And at that moment, including Jack Jr. in a photo might have seemed like the best idea.
Therefore, if I was Jack, I would have said, "Thank you for trying to accommodate my son's temper, but I'm going to take him away instead." And I sure wouldn't have stood by and watched the little angel punching another kid. And I sure wouldn't have kept him at the table screaming and crying while the party continued around him and other people were within five feet.
I guess I don't understand this catering to the parents of the screaming kid.
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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/24/2008 5:13:26 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1026
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"Catering to the parents of the screaming kid" Is about acknowledging that God entrusted the raising of that kid to those parents. If they are not doing the best job of balancing the needs of their child vs. the needs of the general public... Well, myself, as a member of the public I choose to be gracious to people who are having a hard time, rather than to look only to my own comfort. I suppose I'm just the "catering" type.
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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/24/2008 5:18:55 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4228
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I'm trying to consider the comfort of the family of the other child...who was celebrating a birthday. Heaven forbid anyone attempt to keep their child from disrupting another family's event, when the other family has been gracious enough to invite them to take part.
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Who should be allowed to attend church?
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RE: Another thread on children from a non-parent - 9/24/2008 5:54:55 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1026
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I get that, I just see the struggle as one with two sides.
In this case birthday-dad really shot himself in the foot because he didn't understand disruptive-kid and chose not to trust that his dad did understand and know how to manage disruptive-kid.
Now, after things had really gotten out of hand, perhaps dad (now suffering from scream-fatigue and possibly a little lost and myopic, not to mention humiliated) might have responded to a nudge or reminder that the screaming didn't seem to be taipering off and that others were uncomfortable, or maybe an offer of help.
Also, I've never been to a children's birthday party under 4 without at least one major meltdown. It's pretty much what preschoolers do in tough situations. When you have a party for that age group you have to understand that your guests are really quite likely to disrupt a picture perfect day. (Not expecting this is like holding an adult party with an open bar and not expecting at least one embarrassing incident due to loosened inhibitons... It's not realistic.)
Children, with their underdeveloped emotional control, are a part of life. If they are not welcome to learn to control their emotions and occasional fail in public, I'm just not sure what message that sends them, or what parents are supposed to do instead of allowing public failures to run their course. It's just noise, and I think the adults around should be able to deal with it for the sake of supporting parents in choosing what they think is the best course of action for their child.
I'm not saying everybody has to think like this, stella, you just mentioned that you didn't understand. I hope this provides you with a good grasp of why some people choose to "cater" and also possibly why some people choose to ride out a tantrum in a not-isolated location.
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