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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 2:08:11 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
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Well, rats. Nathan is asleep and dH and I had some private time scheduled. Later on in the day we had an appointment for some guys to pick up a bunch of junk from our house, second fridge, second gas grill and other things we don't need anymore.
They came early and didn't call.... I can only pray the ruckus doesn't wake Nathan up, but I think it will. Private time is canceled.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 4:39:48 PM
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nicole6598
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awww Ruth, hope you get some later on or he doesn't wake up!
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 5:40:51 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
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He woke up all right. It's hard to sleep when men are moving furniture right past your bedroom door. This was furniture dating back to when I was child and my parents passed it on to us, and it wasn't the good, quality hardwood stuff. So, we had it stashed in the guest bedroom, which is now getting prepared to be Nathan's new room.
Greg needed so new clothes, so we went out after the men left and hit the sales (lots of 50% and 75% off sales), and all three of us went out together. Now we're all a little beat!
Nathan is showing a serious preference for Greg, like he'll scream and cry if he doesn't get daddy. It's rather disheartening, and an irrational part of me is even angry at my son. Like, doesn't he know what I've sacrificed for him? Doesn't he know how hard it is to take care of him some days?
But the reality is that Greg is the evening & weekend parent, and often takes him out for fun things to give me a chance to rest. I'm tired a lot, and I must also be the everyday parent and the primary disciplinarian (Greg disciplines, too, when needed). But daddy can fling him up in the air, and doesn't seem to get tired carrying him around everywhere. It's no wonder daddy seems like a lot more fun.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 6:33:52 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10308
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
Nathan is showing a serious preference for Greg, like he'll scream and cry if he doesn't get daddy. It's rather disheartening, and an irrational part of me is even angry at my son. Like, doesn't he know what I've sacrificed for him? Doesn't he know how hard it is to take care of him some days?
But the reality is that Greg is the evening & weekend parent, and often takes him out for fun things to give me a chance to rest. I'm tired a lot, and I must also be the everyday parent and the primary disciplinarian (Greg disciplines, too, when needed). But daddy can fling him up in the air, and doesn't seem to get tired carrying him around everywhere. It's no wonder daddy seems like a lot more fun.
It's kind of stinky after you've done so much for him, but it is absolutely normal for kids of both sexes to prefer Daddy at that age. Try to be happy for the break, and remember that you'll really appreciate that he's willing to go with Daddy after the new baby is born!
Levi was in that stage before Brian's accident and then after seeing him only twice in 20 days, took quite a while to warm up to him again.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 6:52:21 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9790
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
Nathan is showing a serious preference for Greg, like he'll scream and cry if he doesn't get daddy. It's rather disheartening, and an irrational part of me is even angry at my son. Like, doesn't he know what I've sacrificed for him? Doesn't he know how hard it is to take care of him some days?
But the reality is that Greg is the evening & weekend parent, and often takes him out for fun things to give me a chance to rest. I'm tired a lot, and I must also be the everyday parent and the primary disciplinarian (Greg disciplines, too, when needed). But daddy can fling him up in the air, and doesn't seem to get tired carrying him around everywhere. It's no wonder daddy seems like a lot more fun.
It's kind of stinky after you've done so much for him, but it is absolutely normal for kids of both sexes to prefer Daddy at that age. Try to be happy for the break, and remember that you'll really appreciate that he's willing to go with Daddy after the new baby is born!
Levi was in that stage before Brian's accident and then after seeing him only twice in 20 days, took quite a while to warm up to him again.
could be the pregnancy too....which is a good thing IMO. Of mine that did that we didn't really have jealousy issues when the next baby came along...those that didn't do that we had to deal with some jealousy issues. So in my very small scientific model of a family, I think it's a good thing
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 7:05:32 PM
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nhgirl
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quote:
But daddy can fling him up in the air, and doesn't seem to get tired carrying him around everywhere. It's no wonder daddy seems like a lot more fun.
Ruth, I feel your pain. I am 37 weeks pregnant and most days have lots of trouble carrying around my 30 lb toddler (she's 20 mos). Of course, I couldn't fling her in the air even when I wasn't pregnant.  Lots of time she does seem to prefer Daddy, and she is more cooperative with him too. It's a rough spot to be in, especially when you're the stay at home parent.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 7:15:57 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Like, doesn't he know what I've sacrificed for him? Doesn't he know how hard it is to take care of him some days?
No to both questions. He will do one day, but it might be a while. 
quote:
But the reality is that Greg is the evening & weekend parent, and often takes him out for fun things to give me a chance to rest. I'm tired a lot, and I must also be the everyday parent and the primary disciplinarian (Greg disciplines, too, when needed). But daddy can fling him up in the air, and doesn't seem to get tired carrying him around everywhere. It's no wonder daddy seems like a lot more fun.
It's not just that. It's part of him growing up. Mum's role is primarily to provide security and nurturing, Dad's role is to break out, have adventures, see the world, inspire, explore. Nathan is at an age where he is getting to realise that he is a separate person, that he is himself, not a part of you. He is starting to realise how exciting life can be, how exciting his life can be - and dad is the one he looks to for this. He knows he's a boy like dad, and he will be starting to look to him as his role model.
It's absolutely right and normal for Nathan to be changing this way, and I personally think it would be happening whether or not you were pregnant.
But he can only do this with you there for him too. Even if you feel you are rather in the shadows, it's the stability and confidence you've given him that is now enabling him to feel confident enough to break away, learn about becoming his own person.
I understand how hard it is. My first child was my son, and I so very clearly remember when I had to start stepping back, letting him and his dad have their fun and do their male bonding stuff. I cried, I missed him, but I knew it had to happen.
He still needs you, and you will still have your times. Always. It's just he's starting to grow into a big boy, and needs to do this at the moment.
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 7:21:53 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Like, doesn't he know what I've sacrificed for him? Doesn't he know how hard it is to take care of him some days?
No to both questions. He will do one day, but it might be a while.
I do know that, that's part of why I said it was my irrational side. We do have our fun, playful moments ... when daddy is gone.
And probably my daughter will break away from me, too someday, even though she might identify with me as a female. I was daddy's girl for a long, long time. I was well into adulthood before I started really bonding strongly with and identifying with my mother, really. So, either way, I'm in for a long wait.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 7:25:24 PM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
And probably my daughter will break away from me, too someday, even though she might identify with me as a female. I was daddy's girl for a long, long time. I was well into adulthood before I started really bonding strongly with and identifying with my mother, really. So, either way, I'm in for a long wait.
Not necessarily.
I never bonded with my mother, still haven't, to this day. So much so that I was worried about having a daughter. But she shocked me totally with how she was, right from day 1, and we bonded right away (by her insistence). I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's the same for you and Elizabeth. 
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 8:07:09 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
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Nathan is settling down for the night, but beforehand all 3 of us played in the living room. He definitely enjoyed interacting with his dad, but when his finger got a small boo boo, he walked right up to me and showed me the hurt, basically asking me to fix it.
My SIL has two daughters, the older one is very much like her father. We tell BIL that he was the one who gave his daughter the naughty gene whenever he is frustrated with Miss Independent. The younger one is much more like her mother.
Oh, and when I said I bonded with my mom later in life, what I meant was I always loved her, but I never understood what she meant to the family and how important she was until I had a family of my own. My dad always seemed the like the cool one who had it all together, but my mom sanded out his rough edges and worked quietly to keep everything going, especially when dad was away.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 10:08:12 PM
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spitzu
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I was a daddy's girl when I was little, but now my mom is like my best friend.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/12/2008 11:44:41 PM
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nicole6598
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From: Australia
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Aww Ruth, hugs to you!! I know how sad it feels when you can't cuddle them and stuff, I cried one day when Grace couldn't lay on me anymore for cuddles! ((((RUTH))))
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/13/2008 8:21:59 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
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Aw, thanks everyone. And Happy Anniversary, Jae!
Rough morning today, but I think we'll be all right. I'm almost positive Nathan is getting his 2 year molars in, but after these teeth, that's it! Woo Hoo, the last of teething. He's actually biting his own hands so much, Greg wants to drag out the old baby chew toys that are stored downstairs.
Even with Motrin he had a very poor night, but he seems in good spirits today. I think the crazy season is getting to him a bit, in the 80's one day, but down into the 40's during the night. We have Library Storytime this morning, and I have a lot of cleaning to do. I'm hosting playdate on Wednesday, so lots of laundry, vacuuming, dishes and errands need to be run. (We'll be extra careful at playdate and storytime to make sure he doesn't use any other kids as a teething toy!)
ETA: But gas prices continue to fall. dH filled up my gas tank at $3.25 per gallon yesterday! Just a few days ago we were paying 50 cents more then that.
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This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/13/2008 9:40:37 AM
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lexie
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From: Toronto
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Hi ladies,
Ruth - I understand what you're going through. Akeelah and I have fun all day long and then Dh comes home from work and it's as though I don't exist (until it's time to eat!). I know that she's too young to be choosing favourites and doesn't understand what she is doing though. And I didn't realize everything my mom had done for me until I had Akeelah so I think I expect Akeelah to love me but not truy appreciate everything I do for her until she is an adut. If she does before that, what an awesome bonus. We do have a nice bond right now though, that is purely ours and I'm happy for that.
It's holiday Monday here, so nothing is really open. We'll probably just hang out around the house. The weather is beautiful so maybe we'll take Akeelah to the park.
Have a good day ladies!
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/13/2008 12:22:57 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3629
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I'm in just enough of a good humor to be amused.
The father of the girl Nathan bit was at storytime, and he pulled his girl away from Nathan at least 3 or 4 times (she ran up to Nathan). Then he told me that she was "afraid of hugs now". Really? She didn't look afraid when she ran up to Nathan and I with arms wide open.
But I suppose that's how some fathers are with little girls, treating them like fragile, china dolls, and doing them absolutely no favors.
Well, Nathan is asleep, I have some homemade pizza next to me. The dishes are done, the trash is all gathered and out of the house and the laundry is well underway. Errands and vacuuming will have to wait until Nathan wakes up.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/13/2008 2:51:24 PM
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HisCovenant
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I love leek and potato soup. It's so easy to make and makes me feel very cozy.
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RE: SAHW/M Support/Encouragement--4 - 10/13/2008 5:35:47 PM
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nicole6598
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From: Australia
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Ruth if we were to get gallons here at the price we pay it would cost us about $4.80!
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