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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 8:16:50 PM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crankius
But, I did want to know some parenting tips for putting my babies on a routine, so I read the Babywise books which are supposed to be the secularized simplified version of Growing Kids God's Way.
I got what I wanted, and was happy to skip the Ezzo Theology of it all. 
While certainly Scripture does speak to parenting, it says little about how to care for infants, and anyone who could build an entire parenting program from those few Scriptures probably had to invent quite a bit of knowledge from just a few words.
My husband said the Growing Kids God's Way was too "Borg-like". 
(BTW, I used routines with my babies, and I bf, and they actually did sleep through the night starting during the seventh week. Worked well for us, but I didn't follow the Ezzo plan verbatim.)
I liked the article you linked, Bzirk.
I think we were in the same boat. Maybe starting with Babywise is what made it more paletable for me - I got the practical without the dogmatic. By the time we watched the videos our kids were older. I'd recommend Babywise but, like I said, the GKGW videos about made us crazy and we got a little but not nearly as much out of it.
I actually read some Attachment Parenting stuff (Sears) before dd was born and it scared me to death!! I really think people should read both, and about anything else they can get their hands on . . . and then use the brain God gave them.
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 8:47:00 PM
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bzirk
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From: Where the deer and antelope play
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quote:
use the brain God gave them.
This bears repeating.
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may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 9:10:09 PM
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LaurainAL
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I read the book when my first was an infant and did use some of the principles. Now, I can even remember what they were, so I must not have had a visceral reaction to it like some of you have. But we all know my parenting style is a little different than most here.
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 9:13:41 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
I read the book when my first was an infant and did use some of the principles. Now, I can even remember what they were, so I must not have had a visceral reaction to it like some of you have. But we all know my parenting style is a little different than most here.
Which principles did you personally find useful, Laura?
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 9:33:54 PM
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bzirk
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I just tried to be sensitive to my kids (they were all different), and that seemed to work. I also helped for me not to worry about what others thought of my parenting. My husband also did not worry, and if someone said something we just kind of let it roll off our backs. It wasn't until I was older than I realized people had such definite opinions about other people's parenting. Much as I express my opinions on this site, I really am not too caught up in what other people are doing. So glad about that too since I've had enough to process with my own kids.
Having said that, I respect that my husband (and the other elders of our church as well) had to make a decision about GKGW and chose not to use it.
_____________________________
may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 9:47:23 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1295
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
I read the book when my first was an infant and did use some of the principles. Now, I can even remember what they were, so I must not have had a visceral reaction to it like some of you have. But we all know my parenting style is a little different than most here.
Which principles did you personally find useful, Laura?
I can't remember exactly but I do remember trying to stay on a schedule after reading that book. It was a goal but not something I held to rigorously. If she seemed hungry before a scheduled feeding, I fed her. That is just common sense.
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 10:11:41 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 2945
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From: Where the deer and antelope play
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: LaurainAL
I read the book when my first was an infant and did use some of the principles. Now, I can even remember what they were, so I must not have had a visceral reaction to it like some of you have. But we all know my parenting style is a little different than most here.
Which principles did you personally find useful, Laura?
I can't remember exactly but I do remember trying to stay on a schedule after reading that book. It was a goal but not something I held to rigorously. If she seemed hungry before a scheduled feeding, I fed her. That is just common sense.
I think the GKGW program is a little different from what I saw of Babywise. Mainly, GKGW seemed to equate certain behaviors of kids to the parents' spirituality or lack thereof, and I'm not talking about behaviors that would obviously be a reflection on the parents being ungodly but rather more mundane behaviors were gauged. Going blank on an example at the moment. Anyway, I wanted to make the point that discussing Babywise and GKGW are kind of like talking about apples and oranges -- especially since Babywise is a secular program.
_____________________________
may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/20/2008 11:47:19 PM
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myka
Posts: 797
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When my son was small, we had a friend who was attending GKGW. I was at her home for long periods of time, so I got to see some of the effects of the program. When her daughter did something 'bad', she would take her daughter to her dd's bed and start 'spanking' her with a spatula while screaming 'NO!' repeatedly. I also had to discipline my son occasionally there, and I used a much more gentle method (I had studied parenting issues in college and had a lot of experience around children). She told me that I was not training my son correctly and needed to follow the GKGW methods especially with spanking (which was not effective for my son).
The things that stuck with me about it were that it seemed to be abusive, and the elitist attitude rather than humility exhibited by my friend.
Bzirk, I appreciated the critique that you linked to; it reflected a number of my concerns as well.
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/21/2008 1:27:23 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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They also have a "christian" version of Babywise called "Preparation for Parenting". I used excerpts from it when writing a term paper against CIO.
We are somewhere inbetween rigid schedule and total AP. I say we have a routine, not a schedule because things happen in the same way everyday, but not necessarily at the same time. Although, the older DD has gotten the easier it has been to predict what time naps and bedtime will happen. Since we were demand feeders(even when totally bottle feeding) it was sometimes hard to know what time naptime would happen.
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/21/2008 3:00:30 PM
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stateofgrace
Posts: 1993
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quote:
ORIGINAL: macokjc
Sorry - I meant the spank or not spank thread.
I also have done studies on that book - and in almost all cases, there were other problems that contributed to the child's illness. I'm not going to get into it on here - because I've been around this site to know how people feel. But for those that used this book or are considering using it - I will tell you that the opinions on this site do not reflect the majority of parents out there.
And how would you know that? I know a good number of people at church that basically abandoned what they were taught in those clases, but most people would not speak up and make waves about it.
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RE: Growing Kids God's Way - 9/22/2008 5:58:39 PM
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2shaye
Posts: 5428
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From: So. Cal.
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Like StateofGrace, I'm very familiar with most things Ezzo. Two things I liked about GKGW - the interrupt rule and ..... well, this may be hard to describe.... the way to spank. Maybe I should say I learned not to spank out of anger and never, ever to hit. I learned to be intentional when I disciplined, with love and reason. I'm not sure I'm making sense. I just learned a better way to discipline.
I think the Ezzo materials can be a helpful tool to know about. But if you're like me - controlling, scheduled, non-spontaneous, etc, then you need to be very careful with the Ezzo stuff. It's very easy to take it too far. If you're more the very laid back, easy going type, then I'd bet you would be able to easily find a middle ground or throw out what doesn't sound right to you.
Above all, when it comes to raising kids, ask the Lord for wisdom in all things!
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