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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:09:01 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
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oh maybe...
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Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:23:47 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3142
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CandaceClaywell
we all freakin sin. we sin daily. god dosnt stop loving us. god is a VERY loving god.
This is true, God doesn't stop loving us but sin does put a wedge in our relationship with Him. If you think God is only a loving God and that He will just allow us to continue sinning unchecked, you've missed one of His other character aspects...He is wrathful towards sin. Please allow me to add the rest of the Galatians 5 verses I quoted in post 16:
'Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them.'
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:25:38 PM
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CandaceClaywell
Posts: 26
Joined: 9/25/2008
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quote:
This is true, God doesn't stop loving us but sin does put a wedge in our relationship with Him. If you think God in only a loving God and that He will just allow us to continue sinning unchecked, you've missed one of His other character aspects...He is wrathful towards sin. Please allow me to add the rest of the Galatians 5 verses I quoted in post 16:
'Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them.'
yeah good point
_____________________________
Always and Forever~ xoxo Candie
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 2:25:41 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 899
Joined: 8/28/2008
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Kat's right. Yes, we have a loving God - but we often overlook (I know I did) that he is also a JUST God.
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/26/2008 11:51:20 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1899
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CandaceClaywell
I have had sex out side of marriage...
i know what heartache it brings
and i dont wish it on anyone
Right. God doesn't tell us to avoid something because He's a big killjoy trying to ruin our fun but because He knows it's half a bridge over the Grand Canyon and He doesn't want us to get hurt. I'm sorry you got hurt, Candie. (((Hugs)))
quote:
but GOD never judged me because of it. he was more hurt that i was hurt. and never looked at me like i am horriable
i made a mistake and he has forgiven me. and i have forgiven myself.
Candie, your theology is right on. When Jesus died on the cross, our sin is what held Him there to experience the pain. The judgement and guilt ended there, too. He knew we were lost in our sin, and that's the very reason why He died - to pay for that sin so nothing would come between Him and us. 1 John 1:8,9 says we all sin and if we confess it He cleanses us from all unrighteousness. Wow, what a great God! And then, like the woman caught in adultery, He says He doesn't condemn us and we are to go and sin no more. John 8:11 So we walk with Him and learn a better way to live; one that avoids sin. Yay!
quote:
so what i am saying is... its not as UNFORGIVEN as ppl make it out to be.
It's not unforgiven, but we are called to live a life that doesn't include sex outside of marriage. So we stop sinning and live either celibate (no sex) or get married and stay faithful to our mates.
quote:
GOD really dose tell us not to have sex outside of marriage for our own good.
This is in the Bible. Go, Candie! 
quote:
so he really dosnt stop loving us. and if this couple is suposted to get married. then why would the brake up
but anyways hun i do see where ur coming from too
They have to figure out if it's God's will for them to get married, and that's less obvious. If there are big problems, they should be fixed before the marriage happens if they can. If they can't, it might be an indication one or both aren't ready to marry. If a couple is sinning not just once but as a pattern, they need to fix that before they do anything else. If they can't stop sinning, then they need to flee temptation and get away from each other (wouldn't it be better to be alone than sinning?).
I think your advice is good, Candie. God bless you!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 9/29/2008 7:17:11 PM
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sax_girl
Posts: 38
Joined: 2/3/2006
From: Monterrey, Mexico
Status: offline
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i dont want to open another topic but i dont know if i should..
i struggle with sexual sins too... like you, we dont really "finish" but we're very close and at least I feel bad about it, im sure he feels bad too but he is so quiet he just never tells me...
I am having a hard time at work, i might be fired because I dont fit very well in this company plus they're making some changes and.. well it just really seems like my job is not stable at the moment.. so im looking... but sometimes I feel like my sin is blocking the "blessing" of having a good job...
Sometimes I fall into sin and then think: oh well, tomorrow its gonna be hard because i sinned and now God might be angry at me and not give me a new job, or my SO will be angry for some reason and we will start a fight or he will not call me... etc..
I really need some encouragement..
I know we have to stop sinning, i know.. its something we've prayed about together many many times... but is God really trying to teach me a lesson by having me fired off my job!!!?
_____________________________
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell"
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 10/2/2008 7:59:45 PM
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Tashilein
Posts: 166
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline
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So, I'm still a newbie when it comes to Christianity and being a Christian. I still have so much to learn about God, Jesus, being a Christian, how to do Bible study, worship, pray.... that I feel I don't deserve to call myself a Christian yet. However, though I've sinned, I have made the decision to wait with sex until marriage. I'm single which in one way makes it easy not to sin, but in another way hard as well.
Also, I don't have a lot of experience with relationships as well. I had my 1st boyfriend when I was 24. Didn't last long as he left without a word. I live in Bahrain (Middle East) and he was a marine. He told me they only stay for a certain period before they are based somewhere else. He just forget to mention when his time in Bahrain would be up and what would happen to us. My 2nd boyfriend was navy and with him I committed the sin. We broke up after 5 months. He moved base to Italy (he told me and we remained in a relationship and in contact after he left) and after he left, is when I realized that besides sinning our relationship wasn't all that. I had completely forgotten about the friends I had, realized his jealousness wasn't healthy and he could potentially be agressive. I made a new friend and told him to which he texted me saying he knew people and could find out if my friend's intentions were good and he could hurt him if necessary. When it comes to our sinning... Most of the time, I felt bad. At time I wasn't actively pursueing a relationship with God, but it were my boyfriend's comments that hurt me and made me feel bad. He was the experienced one and I wasn't. I wasn't a good talker about feelings (still not, but trying to get better at it) and my way out was by cutting back on texting him and being shorter in my replies.
Marktan... I can understand your GF might be uncomfortable talking about it cause some subjects are sensitive. But, you clearly want to live your life as a good Christian. Whether she likes it or not, she needs to hear you out and respect your wishes. I'm sure you miss her too, so show her you love her and miss her without getting intimate. Maybe it will help her to express her feelings towards you without getting intimate.
sax_girl: I don't think God is trying to teach you a lesson by having you fired. I think you are bit stressed about the situation in your company and... got get a massage or find some way to let the stress out, like punching a bag. Earlier this year, my job was stressful for me. We had some changes in the company last year, so the promotion I was expecting (like others) didn't happen and I remained stuck in a position where I felt I didn't receive respect from my fellow colleagues. I felt like I was flying non-stop as every day of standby would have already changed days in advance cause they were so short of that particular type of crew (I was a sky nanny and for a long time the training for it was on volunteer basis). Eventually I broke down, cried so much (even in the office). They offered me to let me go home on holiday, but I knew it wouldn't help cause I'd come back to the same position. So, finally they gave me a break that helped me so much. I started enjoying my job again.
For both of you: I read "Every young woman's battle: How to pursue purity in a sex-saturated world" (it comes in "Every man's battle"-version too and with a workbook). It has helped me quite a bit to understand the opposite sex and how they battle temptation as all it can take is a touch or a simple kiss. I found it very informative and I'm currently answering the workbook. It gives examples from the Bible and tips, advice on how to help you not to fall into temptation, where you might want to make some changes. Just an idea
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 10/2/2008 8:17:39 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 899
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tashilein
So, I'm still a newbie when it comes to Christianity and being a Christian. I still have so much to learn about God, Jesus, being a Christian, how to do Bible study, worship, pray.... that I feel I don't deserve to call myself a Christian yet. However, though I've sinned, I have made the decision to wait with sex until marriage. I'm single which in one way makes it easy not to sin, but in another way hard as well.
Welcome to the faith and the boards! We all have much to learn and we should never stop seeking to learn about God! You've made a wise decision for yourself in waiting despite previous setbacks and I commend you for that!
Also, thanks for the book recommendation... I think I'll check it out too.
Blessings
_____________________________
God grades on the cross – not on a curve
Good – God = 0
In the dark? Follow the Son!
The Power of a Simple Gift! samaritanspurse.org
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 10/7/2008 7:19:54 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 200
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline
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The sexual sin aside (there's already been a lot said) so I'll move on. You've received some awesome advice and counsel here already. Lots of wisdom!
Marktan2000, something that you said really stood out. I'm sure it's been commented on but I wanted to put a focus on it all the same. You said that you and your gf didn't communicate on the same level. Could it be different communication styles or even maturity differences? Is she fairly superficial on all topics or is it confined to personal issues? If it's everything, even the social butterfly can have deep, meaningful discussions so it's not a personality thing. If its only personal things then its something that must be worked on. If you are even considering marrying this girl then open and clear communication is VITAL to a successful marriage. Not not everyone communicates easily but I suggest not even considering marriage unless you both can openly, honestly and in depth communicate about any and everything. You will commonly hear that the key to great marriage is communication. Take it from me, it's very true!
It seems rather romantic to think that love is all we need (ask John Lennon) but in reality there is so much more to relationships and marriage. Love is not a feeling but a decision that can sometimes be challenging when there are miscommunications running rampant. Ask any divorcing couple. Love it NOT all we need, at least not outside of heaven.
Another point I want to touch on is that you both don't seem to share the same conviction about the sexual sin. You seem to be struggling in this (God's conviction) which tells me that He is the Lord of your life but it doesn't seem to bother her. That suggests that the Lord isn't Lord of her life. She may have her priorities out of order. Before you agree to marry her make sure you are both on the same page spiritually.
While some may suggest marrying this girl to deal with the sexual sin, I disagree! Marriage is a convenant between you both and God. Too big a step, too much commitment when you are wanting to avoid sinning. If you do, IMO you are marrying for the wrong reason.
Marktan, I wish God's wisdom, strength and guidance. When God stops convicting you over your sin then you have walked too far from Him. Not a place you want to be.
Blessings!
allison
_____________________________
Allison's World My Blog
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RE: Need help in stopping sexual sin - 10/11/2008 6:44:51 PM
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levimichal
Posts: 51
Joined: 10/9/2008
From: Christiansted, Virgin Islands live in Minneapolis
Status: offline
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If you are sinning with her yet you know God's view on it why continue to be with Her. To be with a person when they do not have a correct view of scripture and of God and lead you down a dark path. Here I am going to paste scripture from Proverbs. It can be found in Proverbs 5:1-9
1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel.
2 Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.
7 So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say:
8 Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house!
9 If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
When I was reading about you situation this is the scripture that came to mind. Run from sin and don't look back.
_____________________________
Levita Michal Ayala Goeloe
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