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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/29/2008 7:28:59 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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I had missed the part about hand-me-downs. What is wrong with HMDs? If you don't Hand down clothes when you grow out of them or whatever... what DO you so with them? Throw them away? How wasteful would that be if the clothes are fine for wearing!
My kids LOVE HMDs. They pick what they want and pass on the rest. Even if they didn't love getting HMDs, it wouldn't be "suffering". If would be a bad attitude... ungratefulness for the Lord's provisions.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/29/2008 7:58:41 AM
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Consecrated2God
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I've always loved hand-me downs and I still do. I have so many clothes I periodically have to go through my clothes and get rid of some so they will fit in my closet, and hardly anything I have I bought new. I am not even close to suffering.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/29/2008 9:34:20 PM
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spitzu
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I agree, nothing wrong with hand me downs. If they look ok, how could it be deprivation at all? On the contrary, I think it's a valuable lesson to teach your children that our society's extreme consumerism isn't such a good thing. I think that's a lesson that many adults could stand to learn as well.
As for Jon and Kate, I love watching their show. Those kids are super cute and Kate makes me laugh.
I'm not a huge fan of the Duggars or some of the others, because I can't identify with some of their beliefs and such.
If someone can afford to raise their children, and can love them and have enough time for each of them, then more power to them. Personally, two is ideal for us and three would be our limit. We'll be lucky to get two though, since the first one is totally wiping out our bank account. 
I don't think I would like being on tv at all though. I'm not exactly a private person, but I don't like strangers in my home. I think the whole thing would stress me out entirely. I guess if it works for the family, then ok.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 9:53:58 AM
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kernsfamily
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
The kids had to deal with hand me downs, few new things, etc. - IMO not a way to live.
That is so not suffering. I'm sorry.
Abuse causes suffering. Broken families causes suffering. Starving is suffering. Being in the middle of a war zone is suffering. Watching your mother violated and murdered by guerilla fighters is suffering.
Wearing handmedowns is not suffering and deprivation.
There's a difference between having to depend on "hand me downs"....and, being near the "poverty line" even BEFORE having kids, and then, over a few years time, CHOOSING to have 5 or 6 kids....with NO considerable improvement to income, and being DEPENDENT on welfare for your daily survival....and continuing to have even MORE children! (this describes a number of families in my ln-laws church)....
The Duggar's, belief, while they may not SAY it on TV, is that have a LARGE family (many kids) is being obedient to God...it's the "Christian" thing to do...for ALL Christian families....and, if you choose to do "otherwise" (have only 2-3 kids, and then do whatever it takes to stop getting pregnant), then you are thwarting God's Plan and His will for your life and family.
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Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 10:53:06 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
Wearing handmedowns is not suffering and deprivation.
Not compared to some of the things you mentioned, Maggie, true, but, although wearing hand me downs may not be suffering in and of itself, it can certainly CAUSE suffering in the school yard. I know, I have lived through it.
I am not criticizing anyone who utilizes hand me downs, I am just sayin.' I have also seen families indulge themselves with all kinds of luxury items, and then claim their kids have hand me downs because they can't "afford" new clothes for their kids. Yeah, right. IMO, tithe, food, clothing and shelter are the most important places to spend $.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 9/30/2008 4:28:30 PM >
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:09:26 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Not compared to some of the things you mentioned, Maggie, true, but, although wearing hand me downs may not be suffering in and of itself, it can certainly CAUSE suffering in the school yard. I know, I have lived through it.
If a family is also homeschooled, then that's not an issue. 
That used to be the case, but now with so many home schooling, that same old problem has started to rear its ugly head...remember my thread that talked about this whole issue in the home schooling thread?
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:10:29 AM
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rural_gal
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I've only read the OP, so if this has already been said, I'm sorry. :)
Actually, watching these families fascinates me. I wish, though, that the show would show them having a "bad" day, or dealing with discipline, becaue I watch these shows, and I think, "Man, look at them.....18 kids, always smiling, you don't see this lady with her hair sticking out of the top of her head, losing her temper (ever), or any of the children misbehaving, and here I am with two.......not 8, not 10, just two...........and some days it's a struggle.
RG
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:13:17 AM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
That used to be the case, but now with so many home schooling, that same old problem has started to rear its ugly head...remember my thread that talked about this whole issue in the home schooling thread?
Yes, I remember that thread, but my own experiences have been pretty positive in this respect, both as a homeschooler myself and my children's homeschool experience. The things you described--kids walking around with tags sticking out so people know the brand--I have never seen or experienced.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:16:37 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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quote:
kids walking around with tags sticking out so people know the brand
Someone else said that. That is one particular thing I have not witnessed.
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:21:41 AM
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peculiar_lady2
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rural_gal
I've only read the OP, so if this has already been said, I'm sorry. :)
Actually, watching these families fascinates me. I wish, though, that the show would show them having a "bad" day, or dealing with discipline, becaue I watch these shows, and I think, "Man, look at them.....18 kids, always smiling, you don't see this lady with her hair sticking out of the top of her head, losing her temper (ever), or any of the children misbehaving, and here I am with two.......not 8, not 10, just two...........and some days it's a struggle.
RG
Not everyone has a problem with anger/temper and blows up at their kids regularly. I don't consider that a sign of her being "real" in front of the tv cameras. As to the hair sticking up comment, most people brush their hair every day....and esp if they will have a camera pointed at them sometime that day. As for the kids misbehaving, yes they do...of course they do...in fact on the show last night she was having to discipline her toddler for yelling at someone. Her kids have real pent up energy...they definitely show that (such as her kid lassoing the stair banister, or playing in the rocks, or trying to pack themselves in a suit case. I think the biggest thing is that they let them explore things and do things and don't get bent out of shape about it....and IME that comes with the experience of having lots of kids.
I think they are real in front of the cameras.....real life doesn't have to be chaotic to be fun.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:34:02 AM
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Consecrated2God
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
kids walking around with tags sticking out so people know the brand
Someone else said that. That is one particular thing I have not witnessed.
Oops, sorry about that.
quote:
I think they are real in front of the cameras.....real life doesn't have to be chaotic to be fun.
That's true. Our family isn't very chaotic. I had a picture up as an avatar awhile back of me reclining on the couch, reading a book. Someone in my homeschool group saw it on our group site, and asked me how I ever found time to read a book, and that I looked too peaceful. Well, our kids like to spend a lot of time reading quietly. It's just the we all are in our family, really. Sometimes it's loud here, but more often it's quiet.
Now growing up, my family was chaotic. We would have made an interesting reality show. That's just my mom's personality--she's like a little hurricane. Growing up was very interesting. 
Just for fun, (and because I can! Moderators get perks like that!) I decided to post a picture of my family. This was taken last year. This is my mom, dad, and all of us kids plus one sister-in-law. Having a family choir and singing Handel's Messiah is one thing that small families just don't get to do. 
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:37:57 AM
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Kat_D
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quote:
the Jeub's (featured on a TLC special, "Kids By The Dozen"),
It's funny because in my other post I said I didn't know who this family was and last night I caught a few minutes of their special. I thought they were great!
I think they have 13 kids and were getting ready for their annual B-Day Bash where their goal is to feed 150 people for $150!  That, in and of itself, shows they are extremely resourceful and if the truth be known, miracle workers!
To rural_gal regarding showing them "having a bad day or dealing with discipline," they showed a section about the eldest Jeub daughter (21 years-old, I believe) and how she had gone into total rebellion (by her own admission, she had gone against every single principle her parents had tried to instill in her), so they had to ask her to leave their home because of the bad influence she was on their younger children. It was obvious this was an extremely painful thing for the entire family. However, they did say was doing better and that they were looking forward to the day she'd be back in their family fold.
They also showed the children opening a big bag of donated clothing (from friends) and they seemed pretty excited about it. There were several pairs of very good quality cowboy boots and the kids were having so much fun trying them on...proof that some kids can be thrilled with the hand-me-downs they receive.
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~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:51:40 AM
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rural_gal
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
ORIGINAL: rural_gal
I've only read the OP, so if this has already been said, I'm sorry. :)
Actually, watching these families fascinates me. I wish, though, that the show would show them having a "bad" day, or dealing with discipline, becaue I watch these shows, and I think, "Man, look at them.....18 kids, always smiling, you don't see this lady with her hair sticking out of the top of her head, losing her temper (ever), or any of the children misbehaving, and here I am with two.......not 8, not 10, just two...........and some days it's a struggle.
RG
Not everyone has a problem with anger/temper and blows up at their kids regularly. I don't consider that a sign of her being "real" in front of the tv cameras. As to the hair sticking up comment, most people brush their hair every day....and esp if they will have a camera pointed at them sometime that day. As for the kids misbehaving, yes they do...of course they do...in fact on the show last night she was having to discipline her toddler for yelling at someone. Her kids have real pent up energy...they definitely show that (such as her kid lassoing the stair banister, or playing in the rocks, or trying to pack themselves in a suit case. I think the biggest thing is that they let them explore things and do things and don't get bent out of shape about it....and IME that comes with the experience of having lots of kids.
I think they are real in front of the cameras.....real life doesn't have to be chaotic to be fun.
Oh my goodness!! That's not what I meant, at all!!! Sorry to confuse you. I simply meant that the family just seems so perfect, like they don't have any struggles at all. I didn't see the show where the daughter was asked to leave, but that is a little more extreme than I mean. I mean, don't these kids ever fight over toys? Don't they have a day where they say, "I don't want to eat that tator tot casserole??" Can they really be that perfect? I just think the show gives an unbalanced portrayal of ordinary children in general, especially when you're dealing with so many.
In no way was I trying to imply that it would be "neat" to see the mother having a melt down, screaming at her kids, but to be perfectly frank, I have raised my voice to my children, I have even yelled. To those of you who have never raised your voice at your children, how wonderful that must be for you! That is really an accomplishment! I come from a family of yellers. Am I proud of myself when I do that? No. Am I trying to change? Yes. Do I pray about it? All the time.
By the way, I also comb my hair every day, but some days, as I'm running my hands through it, it just might stick up. However, that was made as more of a humorous comment than anything else. Sorry. I didn't realize anyone would take offense at that.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:54:20 AM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 1333
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
The Duggar's, belief, while they may not SAY it on TV, is that have a LARGE family (many kids) is being obedient to God...it's the "Christian" thing to do...for ALL Christian families....and, if you choose to do "otherwise" (have only 2-3 kids, and then do whatever it takes to stop getting pregnant), then you are thwarting God's Plan and His will for your life and family. do they say that anywhere? On their web site? Did you talk to them and personally hear them say it? If not then how are you so certain that it is their belief for everyone and not just a belief for themselves?
they are quite loyal "followers" of Bill Gothard....and, among "Gothardites", it's a fairly common belief (as the "teaching" regarding having "many children" and, more specifically, refraining from ANY use of ANY type of contraception EVER), is repeated over and over throughout the program's materials.....
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:56:51 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4976
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It's my opinon that when people see a family that appears more "together" than they are, it arises a sense of jealousy. I do believe that no one has it together all the time, but there are some families that seem to either do a great job of organizing things and have a relatively stress-free family life, or maybe their kids are personality-wise easier to manage.
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 11:59:51 AM
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rural_gal
Posts: 17
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
It's my opinon that when people see a family that appears more "together" than they are, it arises a sense of jealousy. I do believe that no one has it together all the time, but there are some families that seem to either do a great job of organizing things and have a relatively stress-free family life, or maybe their kids are personality-wise easier to manage.
I don't know if it made me feel jealous (I guess I'll have to think about that a little more), it just made me feel inadequate.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 12:12:15 PM
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Consecrated2God
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Inadequate may be a better word.
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 12:27:08 PM
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ChelseaRae
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kernsfamily
quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
The Duggar's, belief, while they may not SAY it on TV, is that have a LARGE family (many kids) is being obedient to God...it's the "Christian" thing to do...for ALL Christian families....and, if you choose to do "otherwise" (have only 2-3 kids, and then do whatever it takes to stop getting pregnant), then you are thwarting God's Plan and His will for your life and family. do they say that anywhere? On their web site? Did you talk to them and personally hear them say it? If not then how are you so certain that it is their belief for everyone and not just a belief for themselves?
they are quite loyal "followers" of Bill Gothard....and, among "Gothardites", it's a fairly common belief (as the "teaching" regarding having "many children" and, more specifically, refraining from ANY use of ANY type of contraception EVER), is repeated over and over throughout the program's materials.....
I think you might want to be a little more careful saying things like "The Duggars believe" when you don't actually know for a fact that it is what they believe. Especially regarding something like this. I'm pretty sure I have never heard of any of the Duggars accuse someone of 'thwarting God's plan."
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 12:32:27 PM
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Kat_D
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I thought we were warned at the beginning of this thread not to turn it into a Gothard thing.
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"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Large Families on tv.... - 9/30/2008 12:38:17 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3144
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
Just for fun, (and because I can! Moderators get perks like that!) I decided to post a picture of my family. This was taken last year. This is my mom, dad, and all of us kids plus one sister-in-law. Having a family choir and singing Handel's Messiah is one thing that small families just don't get to do
Oh, what a beautiful family, Lisa!
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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