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RE: Share what you've written - 11/25/2007 12:28:33 AM
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amymelissa
Posts: 2050
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: South Australia
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Definitely! Keep up the awesome work Randy...it always makes me smile!
_____________________________
~Joshua 1:9
I now have a blog: here
Come and join our new Christian RP forum!
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/25/2007 10:25:25 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7729
Joined: 6/5/2006
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I don't even know you people. 
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/25/2007 10:30:50 PM
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violinist_for_jesus
Posts: 2239
Joined: 4/20/2007
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HEre's the first partof a poem that I started working on this morning:
Hide me now,
Beneath thy wings,
O Lord of Lords,
And King of Kings
When troubles come,
I will not fear,
for thou art my friend,
And thou art near,
Guide me Lord,
by thy pure light,
Let me not fall,
by my own sight,
_____________________________
Zachary/19
http://www.myspace.com/zacharygraft
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/26/2007 1:19:05 AM
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.deborah.
Posts: 253
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: California
Status: offline
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so i dont do this posting what i write thing much...
i dont like it.
but this is about a year old... never titled it.
I'll talk away my tears.
You'll drive the words from my tongue.
Spoon out my heart.
Leave me there to breath.
Sadly smiling in my sleep.
These tremors are not what have got me shaking.
Darkest little lies
guess that's what lead to our goodbyes.
My brain stained with our memories.
Wish they'd fade away.
Your clever and deceiving ways
have spilled into my own actions.
I've only scratched the shiny surface
_____________________________
moshing is sooo a form of dancing!!
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/26/2007 12:47:40 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RatherDashing
I don't even know you people.
 Who are you?
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/28/2007 12:42:25 PM
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rae_of_light
Posts: 3212
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
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This is something I wrote about something that's been happening in my life in the past couple of years. *Disclaimer: this is NOT about a boy!* It's not very good, but I was thinking that maybe someone could tell me how to make it better. The punctuation is not there, because I didn't know what to do.
Every time you leave again,
You take a piece of my heart.
On the outside you can’t see it,
But you’re tearing me apart.
You chose to disregard,
All that you’d been taught.
You left your inheritance behind,
Without another thought.
Sometimes I think I see a glimpse,
Of what you once had been.
But those times now seem far away,
As if they were but a dream.
I pray for you to God each day,
That you’d see what you’ve become.
I pray that He would save you now,
And that you would come back home.
< Message edited by rae_of_light -- 11/29/2007 1:18:23 PM >
_____________________________
I don't need to swear to get my point across
I don't have to change who I am to be cool
I don't have to drink to have a good time
...And you're asking me what MY problem is?
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/29/2007 12:52:08 AM
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.deborah.
Posts: 253
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: California
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rae, thats amazing!
2 a q. when you dont have punctuations.
you dont take a time to breathe.
its like a sentence, if there is no endiong to it. it keeps going.
idk if that helped any.
_____________________________
moshing is sooo a form of dancing!!
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/29/2007 1:13:52 PM
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rae_of_light
Posts: 3212
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
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Thanks guys!!
Basically I have a new thought every two lines, so I should put periods there then, right? And should I have commas in between? lol I'm so lost here. I will edit it, and then could you tell me if that's how it should be?
_____________________________
I don't need to swear to get my point across
I don't have to change who I am to be cool
I don't have to drink to have a good time
...And you're asking me what MY problem is?
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/29/2007 1:44:30 PM
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ChiefWannahakaloogie
Posts: 4810
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: under your bed
Status: offline
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i dont think the periods are neccesary, though the comments are effective. but its really good rae.
_____________________________
Ich bin eine wütende bäcker frau, und iche backe dich
*food*
Ice cream love
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/30/2007 3:33:42 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7729
Joined: 6/5/2006
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This is a prayer for something more. A prayer for liberation and freedom, and freedom is the substance of hope.
Have You ever felt the venom pouring into Your skin from this interminable viper?
The teeth soaking into You veins, injecting You with the motive of fragileness?
I implore an antidote, a medicine, some type of cure.
I grow impotent through this process. My eyes are darkened to see not. Raw umberness is no longer evident upon my glance, only a mere image of that which is moulded to be.
Emotions have accepted this dominion over my fragileness. My current state becomes submissive to the venom ever climbing to my chest. Eyelids become the bed to my slumbering eyes and cling to this coma of insecurity. The occasional heartbeat becomes the closest thing I have to an alarm clock, yet it still hasn't awoken me.
Confusion has dug a pit into my path, and I have fallen deep into myself. Wondering through the darkness, stumbling my way to each corner. I trip and fall upon my back and cloudy skies become more apparent. There's no lamp unto my feet to where I can see, and I cannot find a source of escape.
Deliver unto me, O God, the antidote my soul cries out for. A mere taste is the anticipation of the rejoicing of things hoped for. For once I was frostbitten, now I warm my hands under the shadow of Your wings. For once I was trapped in inexorable obscurity, now the sun gives it's illumination for me to saunter. For once I was blind... but now I see.
Dear God... increase.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/30/2007 6:16:50 PM
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FHM
Posts: 1319
Joined: 6/2/2007
From: USA
Status: offline
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wow...just wow! *sniff*
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/30/2007 7:55:42 PM
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PrincessButtercup
Posts: 7115
Joined: 4/21/2007
From: not my home...
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Fran used the only word I woulda had for that.... wow.
_____________________________
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart...
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RE: Share what you've written - 11/30/2007 11:01:39 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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Randy, you're poetry always uses an incredible imagery that I can't ever seem to capture.
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/1/2007 6:09:21 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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Ok... I wrote this for a contest and thought I'd post it here, too. I, um... need to win this. It would pay for about half of my first year of college. So pray that it does. 
Distress of a Teenage Author
A year off from school and work? You’re kidding me, right?
No? Well, then, how would I spend it?
Working of course. And gladly.
See, I’ve been writing a series of books for almost eight years now. Yeah. Just a little less than half of my life. If given a year to myself, it would be my delight to spend hours on end being the happy puppeteer dancing the strings of my characters’ frail lives.
As it is, I do not understand the concept of “writers’ block.” I’ve never had it. “Writers’ backup” would be more accurate, considering that to get writers’ block, you must actually spend time writing. Said periods of writing are scarce when you balance a job, a senior year of high school, and advanced dual credits courses. Factoring in playtimes with guitar and video games cramps the schedule thus further. And being the elected teen president of Salem Network’s Crosswalk.com surely doesn’t free any time.
I’m afraid that most good ideas I have soon get pushed out the emergency exit in my brain. Although I carry a notebook in my purse for sudden revelations, writing down my thoughts can be a teeny bit hazardous while driving. When enlightenment strikes at the dinner table, I often find myself thankful that my family knows the Heimlich Maneuver. Dreams are great times to plan plot twists. Unfortunately, remembering them upon wakening doesn’t seem to be on my to-do list. Shame... it would get done that way. Maybe.
So if you were really offering to give me a year off to do whatever I wanted, I would pounce on the opportunity to do work-that-isn’t-really-work-because-it’s-fun-but-is-work-because-some-people-get-paid-for-it.
That must be nice.
And, hey. if I were to meet writers’ block along the road, I could always do that other thing:
Nap.
Oh yeah.
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 1:27:53 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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*crickets*
Wow... Was it really that bad? Bummer.
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 3:54:49 PM
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ChiefWannahakaloogie
Posts: 4810
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: under your bed
Status: offline
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i loved it!
you get a brownie.
_____________________________
Ich bin eine wütende bäcker frau, und iche backe dich
*food*
Ice cream love
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 7:53:10 PM
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rae_of_light
Posts: 3212
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
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quote:
Dreams are great times to plan plot twists. Unfortunately, remembering them upon wakening doesn’t seem to be on my to-do list.
Oh my goodness, that's what happens to me!!!! I get book ideas that I think are awesome upon dreaming them, but when I wake up... nothing!!
Awesome work, I thought it was great!
_____________________________
I don't need to swear to get my point across
I don't have to change who I am to be cool
I don't have to drink to have a good time
...And you're asking me what MY problem is?
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 10:25:10 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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Accolades are like gatorade. They rejuvinate.
Whoa, that was deep. Quick, write that down!
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 10:29:49 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7729
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
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You're like a root of knowledge being watered by clever and growing the life intelligence.
That took me five milliseconds seconds, folks.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Share what you've written - 12/3/2007 10:32:55 PM
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_MavericK_
Posts: 4889
Joined: 4/4/2007
From: Texas, wild and free
Status: offline
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It wouldn't have taken quite that long if you hadn't said "seconds" twice. 
_____________________________
Suddenly, I don't like Ike quite as much as I have in the past.
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