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And that was the beginning of the end of my faith...it's gone now...I really miss it, but I can't see going back.

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ORIGINAL: hnt

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And that was the beginning of the end of my faith...it's gone now...I really miss it, but I can't see going back.

You know why you miss it? Because God didn't do that to you - they did!

Churches act like fools as well!

I encourage you to find others of faith, and fellowship with them!

There was a time in which I was very angry and confused about the treatment of abuse. I see it on this board at times, and I know people get mad at me for calling a duck a duck! YES there are steps you can take towards reconcilation....but again it takes two. Its a long road, and its hard road. People get antsy and want to push it along! I assume because its uncomfortable.....what they don't stop to think about it how much more uncomfortable it is for those living it!

My new church - well NOT brand new - did a sermon on abuse recently. I was shocked at how much I liked it. I was sitting there willing to hear, but dreading it at the same time. I would see tears in the eyes of many as they explained how these things can happen, and how its a huge hill to climb to fix it. It started with a video of a lady whom endured things as a child, and how it impacted her life! How God placed people in her life to show her how she could move on, and for the first time she felt true love!

You see - that can happen also!

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ORIGINAL: NotDoneYet

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ORIGINAL: hnt

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And that was the beginning of the end of my faith...it's gone now...I really miss it, but I can't see going back.

You know why you miss it? Because God didn't do that to you - they did!

Churches act like fools as well!

I encourage you to find others of faith, and fellowship with them!

There was a time in which I was very angry and confused about the treatment of abuse. I see it on this board at times, and I know people get mad at me for calling a duck a duck! YES there are steps you can take towards reconcilation....but again it takes two. Its a long road, and its hard road. People get antsy and want to push it along! I assume because its uncomfortable.....what they don't stop to think about it how much more uncomfortable it is for those living it!

My new church - well NOT brand new - did a sermon on abuse recently. I was shocked at how much I liked it. I was sitting there willing to hear, but dreading it at the same time. I would see tears in the eyes of many as they explained how these things can happen, and how its a huge hill to climb to fix it. It started with a video of a lady whom endured things as a child, and how it impacted her life! How God placed people in her life to show her how she could move on, and for the first time she felt true love!

You see - that can happen also!

There are many things in my life...that if I were to be TOTALLY honest and authentic, most people would go running the other way...it ain't pretty, it ain't all happy...truth be told, most of it is pretty ugly. It's a shame that I'd have to put a smile on my face and lie through my teeth just to get through a Sunday service.

So...it's not for me...

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ORIGINAL: lastblast

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE

we are not second class citizens...we are daughters of the King! sins forgiven!!! Praise Him. Ignore the judgement (and twisting of scripture) by those who dont know the suffering. I suggest to them they visit the local battered womens shelter and see first hand what can happen. Really LOOK into the eyes of a battered woman and her traumatized children. See with the eyes of Jesus.

I know MANY who are divorced and they are far from second class citizens. Yet, these same divorcees believe in the permanency of marriage. They most certainly are not speaking the same message of the destruction of God-joined marriages that many are today. These same divorcees believe the scriptures teach that divorce between those couples GOD joined together is NOT good---no matter the situation. Paul DID give an "out"(hopefully temporary)----"if a woman departs she is to remain unmarried OR be reconciled to her husband". If a woman IS being abused, the Lord DOES understand, but He does NOT want or give permission for what HE joined together to be put away----permanently. That is the flesh, not God. God desires the hardhearted (the offender as well as the offended---whatever the case may be) to repent/and or forgive.............and then for restoration of the family HE joined together to occur. Blessings.......

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There are many things in my life...that if I were to be TOTALLY honest and authentic, most people would go running the other way...it ain't pretty, it ain't all happy...truth be told, most of it is pretty ugly. It's a shame that I'd have to put a smile on my face and lie through my teeth just to get through a Sunday service.

So...it's not for me...

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE

so whats your church doing to help them? please be specific. feeding the kids? providing her with a place to live and medical care? taking care of her kids when she has to work and they all have the flu? and are you providing security if she has an abusive spouse? do be specific in how you help her.

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ORIGINAL: lastblast

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE

so whats your church doing to help them? please be specific. feeding the kids? providing her with a place to live and medical care? taking care of her kids when she has to work and they all have the flu? and are you providing security if she has an abusive spouse? do be specific in how you help her.

What's your point here? Is it that you contend it is OK to sin against God because of circumstance?

you understand my point perfectly. do you have the nerve to answer it?

As I said, I know MANY divorcees and they do not think it a GOOD thing to divorce and "move on" for they understand the binding nature of marriages that GOD joined together (those who were "free" to be married together). They also understand that we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God----including abusers........and that it is God's Will to heal and restore the family that HE put together for a lifetime.

NO Christian woman I know who is divorced thinks its ever a good thing. Not one.

How churches handle/don't handle personal situations still does not affect our personal responsibility before the Lord to obey Him even in those situations which seem impossible. Do we trust Him or not? Do we instead place our trust and provision in man and if man doesn't provide, we resort to disobedience instead of "waiting on the Lord"? I know many situations are dire and such, but I have heard story upon story of how the Lord came through at the "last hour" to provide for those who trust in Him........and wait upon Him.........and He even uses the unsaved as vessels to provide care. Blessings.

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I think the reason women get killed as they leave is because they have reached a breaking point, get hurt or get out. They have wanted their marriage to work so very much, and waited way too long to get out.

NotDoneYet, somewhere there is a fellowship that can help you heal. I agree that too many people just don't know how to deal with such great pain. I don't think that all folks don't care, they just feel helpless so they do almost nothing.

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ORIGINAL: benelchi

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There are many things in my life...that if I were to be TOTALLY honest and authentic, most people would go running the other way...it ain't pretty, it ain't all happy...truth be told, most of it is pretty ugly. It's a shame that I'd have to put a smile on my face and lie through my teeth just to get through a Sunday service.

So...it's not for me...

I would recommend strongly looking for a church that has a DivorceCare group / ministry. This ministry has a very biblical outlook on Divorce, and a very biblical outlook on how to deal with all of the pain that is caused by divorce. They won't encourage you to "put a simile on your face and lie through your teeth" but will encourage you to be genuine and understand that God's love truly transcends even the greatest sins; all you need to do is accept his free gift of forgiveness, and let him truly change your life.

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE


To do what you are suggesting would require the church to back her up...financially, emotionally, even physically for safety....do you do it? its a simple question. your answer should be an interesting one. what do you do?

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ORIGINAL: dkgnew

waiting, and reconciling is done Primarily to not be JUDGED and CONDEMNED by FOLKS for not TRUSTING GOD ENOUGH. Every case is different. Majority, of church folks divorce after years of trying (especially when there are children involved).

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it turned into an X bashing session...and the women whining about this and that as opposed to getting their heads together, getting a job, providing for their kids

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ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

Is there any reason at all that a Christian can get divorced?

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I tried one of those...it turned into an X bashing session...and the women whining about this and that as opposed to getting their heads together, getting a job, providing for their kids...most of 'em were the "I just didn't love him anymore" types who were after the fattest alimony checks they could get...not my scene.

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Is there any reason at all that a Christian can get divorced?

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ORIGINAL: lastblast

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE


To do what you are suggesting would require the church to back her up...financially, emotionally, even physically for safety....do you do it? its a simple question. your answer should be an interesting one. what do you do?

You still are focusing on MAN, not God. Man (even those in the professing CHURCH) have disappointed as has been stated. So where does our trust/reliance lay?

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ORIGINAL: lastblast

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ORIGINAL: dkgnew

waiting, and reconciling is done Primarily to not be JUDGED and CONDEMNED by FOLKS for not TRUSTING GOD ENOUGH. Every case is different. Majority, of church folks divorce after years of trying (especially when there are children involved).

That's the problem..............people stay together to avoid PEOPLE looking down on them, not because they love God and want to walk in obedience or because they love their spouse like Jesus loves them. Because their MOTIVATION is wrong, sin will rear it's ugly head and they will "give up"............because it is their flesh driving them, not their love for Christ and a heart that is eternity focused and not temporally focused.

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE


And you are not answering, your silence on the question asked speaks volumnes. Bottton line, you do nothing to help these women while demanding they make their own way in the world with no financial support or help of any kind. Of course God provides. I would tell you how He has provided for me, a divorced Christian, but its not allowed here. I will tell you this......many would not survive without supportive churches. God does provide, and often through His people, the church. Yours obviously does nothing but condemn or you would tell me. You are disobeying Gods commands by not helping those who need it.

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE

[SO if people stay together its because they are concerned about what others think...they are sinning!...If they divorce, they are condemned. Their motivation is wrong? How do you know?? Can you read their hearts and minds? Being fallible human beings NONE of us do is perfectly. Looking at people who stay together and judging them....looking at those who divorce and judging them......in your mind no one can do it right! And indeed we cant. We are human. Where is your LOVE??

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ORIGINAL: lastblast

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ORIGINAL: TATERBUGLETTE


And you are not answering, your silence on the question asked speaks volumnes. Bottton line, you do nothing to help these women while demanding they make their own way in the world with no financial support or help of any kind. Of course God provides. I would tell you how He has provided for me, a divorced Christian, but its not allowed here. I will tell you this......many would not survive without supportive churches. God does provide, and often through His people, the church. Yours obviously does nothing but condemn or you would tell me. You are disobeying Gods commands by not helping those who need it.

I did not answer you specifically because scripture teaches that we should not speak about the things WE do. I did speak generally on what we SHOULD be doing as the body of Christ and that many of the institutional churches are NOT obeying Jesus in providing for the "widows" and fatherless as they should be.

You can speak of what you do without it considered bragging. You wont answer because you obviously do nothing at all. and you admit that your church isnt doing what it should be doing to help these women and kids.


The families(whom scripture teaches should be the primary means of care) of such women/children are also guilty before the Lord for not taking care of them as well.

Some of them have no families. I cant believe you are that uninformed on this issue you seem to talk so much about. You ARE aware some have no family members to back them up arent you?

You seem to be quite offended with my belief that God does not agree with the permanent putting away of a covenant spouse. I'm sorry that I cannot come alongside the website you promote, as the reasonings found therein are very far from the heart of God as expressed through His Word. Throughout all of scripture we see that our Lord desires that all would come to a place of forgiveness and repentance and that restoration of what HE joined together would take place. Jesus also made it very clear that He came for the "sick".............among the sick are found the downtrodden and also the oppressors (of which Paul was one). Just as Paul was able to be saved and used greatly by God, so is the case with ANY person. Jesus does not just care for/love the "likeable" ONLY, He came and died for the "unlikeable" as well. That seems to be something many forget in the midst of tribulations caused by the hand of man.

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Those who are the most against ANY divorce are the ones who do the least to help those who must get divorced...the abused, neglected, abandoned women and kids who suffer in misery and poverty and loveless, often violently abusive marriages.