cajunhillbilly
Posts: 164
Joined: 5/17/2005
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
BARACK
OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN
MC CAIN: My friends, that
chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of
the road... ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF
RUSSIA!
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE
W. BUSH: We don't really care
why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
for us.
There is no middle ground here.
DICK
CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN
POWELL: Now to the left of
the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing
the road.
BILL
CLINTON: I did not cross the
road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN
KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the
wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for
it now, and will remain against it.
AL
SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens
white? We need some black chickens.
DR.
PHIL: The problem we have
here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with
the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side
of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current
problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of
having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.
NANCY
GRACE: That chicken crossed
the road because he's guilty!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT
BUCHANAN: To steal the job of
a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA
STEWART: No one called me to
warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at
the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR
SEUSS: Did the chicken
cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain,
alone.
JERRY
FALWELL: Because the chicken
was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call
it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.
BARBARA
WALTERS: Isn't that
interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken
tell, forthe first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing
the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN
LENNON: Imagine all the
chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL
GATES: I have just released
eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer
is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable
and will never crash.
ALBERT
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken
really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL
SANDERS: Did I miss one?
_____________________________
"A Stargate. You know, kind of a ring thing. Comes with a dialer. You hit some symbols. The lights come on. It spins around. And then it flushes sideways" Jack O'Neill on Stargate SG1
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